[johnagorman]

If you any questions about adoption you should let me know because I have adopted two children, and I have learned a little about them and adoption.

I cannot help with the adoption process, but I would like share what i have learned.

God Bless,
john a. gorman

[BrandyHagz]

John I removed your phone number, we don't allow the posting of personal phone numbers on our site, for privacy reasons.

[heart-to-heart]

"If you any questions about adoption"
OK, I for one would love to take you up on your offer to help...I am a b-mother, now 49 years old, but just 15 when I had my daughter....without going into the long details, I'll get to the point, that is my point of interest..What types of things go through a childs mind who grows up knowing they were adopted? What questions have you heard your own a-children ask? How does it impact how they think of themselves? and on a personal, and maybe selfish note..How do they feel about their b-mother, that is of course considering they don't know her or the situation which caused her to have to give a child to someone else to raise? and can you shed any insight on one other question I have for you..How can I help her now? She is 33 years old, we discovered each other 1 and 1/2 years ago, she's married ( for 6 years ), they have a son who is 3 . We have not met in person, only conversed through e-mail, telephone a few times, shared photos and brief personal, and family history. Last July, ( her birthday ) I failed to call her ( in defense I did talk to her via e-mail a couple days before and she explained she was going on a much needed weekend away with her husband, and that she was very excited since they had not had a chance to spend time alone for quite some time ). I wished her a Happy Birthday, and told her I would look forward to talking with her when she returned. A few months ago, after it seemed that our communicating had slowed down and I felt she was avoiding me I wrote a very "heart-felt" e-mail to her, her response took me completely by surprise..she said " I don't know if I should even be writing you back, ...:last year for the first time in 31 years you knew where I was and you did not try to talk to me on my birthday..how could you forget?" She also said how she was very protective about who she lets into her sons life and that she did not think I was the kind of person she wanted in her son's life!"
This was very hurtful for me, but I try to remember we all have been deeply affected by the adoption process and its effects on us, I too have my own issues and still try to work on them every day. At first I didn't understand, because I couldn't remember the specifics of why I didn't call her, so I went back to my files on computer and looked at the old e-mails ( I have saved them all ), and then I was able to recall the details..I only had her home phone and knew she wasn't home, but to be honest I can't say for sure I would have tried to reach her by cell phone even if I'd had the # because I was thinking of HER and that this was a special weekend for her and her husband..so, because I so wanted her to know I NEVER meant to hurt her feelings I sent her a copy of the old e-mail and a brief explanation with my apology, and told her I understand this is hard and I would hope and pray that we could find an open to in which to get back on track and communicate with each other..I have sent countless e-mails since, but to no avail...she won't respond...???? Any suggestions/insight would be deeply appreciated..I understand you can only give me your opinion from your perspective....and that's exactly what I'm looking for? PLEASE HELP!!Denise