[gingerkid]

Hi! My name is Natalie and I'm just starting to search for my birthmom. Does anybody have any advice for me? I don't really know where to start.

Thanks!

[Manoleus]

Natalie,
Congrats on making the decision to make the step towards finding out about you biological mother. How did you decide to do it? Do you have a support system? I'd love to hear more about it. I did a search myself so I may be able to help a little bit.


Best of Luck,
Manoleus

[bakerjw]

Woo Hoo!!! Someone with my birthday! Different years though.

The first question is what information do you have? Birth mothers name? Name of the adoption agency or attorney who handled the adoption? State and or county where the adoption took place?

The first thing to do is to start a journal. Write down all of your information and keep a log of when and where you register, when and who you send letters to, etc... It helps.

The second thing to do is register and look at the online registries. There is one here, There is G's, and countless others. You may get a hit immediately.

The third thing to do regardless of the information is to request your non identifying information from the state where your adoption was finalized. You can also request the information from the agency that handled the adoption. Almost all requests will require a notarized letter stating that it is you who is asking for the information. When dealing with the agency be sure to be very clear that you want ALL non identifying information from your file. Request any home study and supporting paperwork that is in there. You probably won't get much but it at least makes them do some work.

Look into your state registry too. Illinois has a registry where Illinois adoptees and birth parents can register and be notified if a match is made.

Many states also have confidential intermediary programs to assist adoptees looking for their parents.

These are the best things to do.
Best wishes.

[gingerkid]

Thank you for your responses!

I decided to start this search after a lot of thought. Before a few months ago I had never considered trying to search for my birthmother. I love my family, and when I think of my parents, the two faces of my loving adoptive parents are the first image in my mind. But the idea of searching began to creep in, and I made the final decision because of something my mom said to me. We were talking about my adoption, and she mentioned that if she had given a child up for adoption then she would want to know if that child had a good life. And I have had an extremely blessed and happy life, and I want my birthmom to know.

As far as support systems go, I've told a couple of my close friends, but I haven't told my parents yet. I know I'm going to need their help and I want to be open with them, I'm just waiting for a good moment to discuss it with them.

Information-wise, I know that my adoption was a closed adoption, finalized in Cincinnati, Ohio in August of 1990. I was born in Christ Hospital of Cincinnati on Dec. 22 1989. I also know that my birthmom was 16 when I was born, and that she was of German descent.

How do I go about obtaining non-identifying information? And thanks for your help so far!

gingerkid