[nickychaz]

My bmother claimed that she never told my bfather about her pregnancy. How true do you think this is?
If I was sixteen and pregnant, I think that the father would be the first person that I would tell.

[kiwi]

Nicky, I'm sorry to have the first response to this thread be aggressive, but how do you know this? Based on your other posts, you haven't had any contact with your birhtmother. Knowing for certain details like her sneaking out when she got pregnant and that she never told the father seems strange; since your adoptive mother told you for your whole life that your birthmother would be happy to see you and it turns out that your birthmother has given you nothing but silence, how can you know for certain anything your adoptive mother told you about your birthmother is true?

[nickychaz]

My non-id gave me all of this information. I assume that it is correct.

[Montraviatommyg]

Nicky,

Based on my experience please keep on open mind about your bfather not being told about you. You know some of my story but part of it you don't know is that I didn't tell my my son's bfather about him. I had been with him quite some time but didn't tell him I was pregnant after we split .... I found out after we split. One of the reasons we split up was because he was told lies about me so there was no way he would have believed he was the father of my child. My son found him before I found him so the situation was taken out of my hands. This man is still maintaining he isn't the father of my son and has given him a completely different version of events

Pip

[tigerbabe]

I didn't tell my daughters bdad about her. I went to a maternity home. Mind you I was 20 and I wasn't saying a word, I can believe a 16 year old would be even more apt not to speak up.
Her bdad found out through a friend that saw me pregnant. He was smart enough to ask my due date and figured it out. By the time the bdad got hold of me, I had signed papers.
Everyone's story is different. Everyone's reasons are different. I didn't call him because he was just going into the Air Force when I got pregnant. I didn't want to be the reason his life changed.
Remember...you will never truly know. Only the people who lived it know the truth, and it will be as they remember it to be, not necessarily how it was.

Hope this helps.

[Thoover]

I have found my birth father about 1 year ago this month, he never knew about me. And when he found out that the birth mom kept it from him he was happy, sad and thrilled that he had a daughter. The truth does come out.. DONT give up!!!

[laxrick]

My birthmother never told my birthfather. He just got a packet of adoption papers. Both confirmed the story.

[Thoover]

There are so many different situations why the birth mothers wont tell. My birth father said he was surprised she didnt tell cause he told her he couldnt get anyone pregnant. Most of the time and different states have different laws but an articleis put into the legal section of a 4 consecutive week section of a newspaper that will allow the father his right to come forward and claim his child. I found the artical on me and he would have never of seen it since she left the State of VA and came to MD. You should always go as far as 6 months from the time you were born and search through articles in the legal section of papers with your brithdate will be in there. Also the Birth mother and fathers name will be in the article as well. Just an FYI. Thats how I found my birth father. need any help let me know email me at Tehoover@hotmail.com.
Tracy

[alliweave]

It depends on how you were adopted and what year it was. For example, I was adopted in 1974, and the agency could not complete the process until the father signed the papers - which meant the biological mother had to contact him, tell him, and then get him to sign the papers.

[Bewenched]

I personally didn't tell the birthfather of my daughter because it's the same old story: "Once he got what he wanted he dumped me" So typical of teenage boys.

[snuffie]

Birth fathers did not have to be asked if their child could be relinquished for adoption when I was adopted. I don't think they had to sign any papers either. In my adoption records, it states that "as paternity could not be established as the alleged father was no longer in the state" he couldn't be put on the birth certificate. And no effort was made to find him either. They really didn't have to have any part in it. How sad. But many bmom's I have talked with from that era, say they never told the bdad for various reasons.

[Hawkwoman]

I am new to this but I did tell the birth father and his first and only response was have an abortion. This was our second time going through this. At 18, we both made the decision for abortion due to still being in high school. However, at 20 when it happened through medical mis calculation. He was a freshman in college and I was in the Air Force. When I found out I was pregnant the second time I was already 4 months along. Needless to say his comment didn't go over well and we stopped talking. By the time my daughter was born I was seeing someone else and had been about 2 months. He knew the situation and told the hospital that the baby was his so the adoption would go through with out a hitch.

I've just found out that he wanted to be there but the boyfriend was present and he didn't want to create problems. But it would seem to me that if he cares(d) so much for our daughter he would have done anything to be there for her birth.

But what ircks me more than anything else at this point is him saying it was his decision to give her up for adoption. He never had a say in it after the last conversation. My question to him was, "What is this WE stuff?