[inesi]

Many people ask, why search? All I can say is why not. Whether you like it or not we are related to birth families in one way or another. I myself feel close to my ** even though our relationship lasted only those 9 months I was in her womb. Perhaps we have never seen eachother face to face (perhaps we did for some short moments, I don't know) but I am certain my heart would recognize her heartbeat without any trouble. In fear or in anger, she still managed to keep me and nourish me for those very important 9 months. I know this for a fact since I am a perfectly healthy human being. For that alone I will be eternally grateful. Being able to tell her "Thank you for the precious gift of life" face to face is a good enough reason to search. I have habits I have no idea why they exist. I like things and sounds I have no idea why. Perhaps they are sounds I heard while I was inside, things she did during those short months while we were together. Why do I like animals so much? I know in meeting her I will find many answers. I know that perhaps she might not want to meet me, but then again what if she does. Even if we were never to see eachother again, I would like the chance to say "Thank you" and to tell her personally that even though she might not believe it, I love her. Yes mom, in case you happen to be reading this, I LOVE YOU . I know nothing about you but I don't need to in order to feel close to you. Many people say they want to search only for medical reasons. Yes, I understand the need to know but even though I would like to know myself, I am clear that that is not my main reason for searching. I love my adoptive family and I have been blessed with a most beautiful life. I just don't see why I shouldn't try to enlarge my family circle. Yes, birth families are also part of the family circle. By God, we take in-laws as family, why not people with whom we share blood ties. I hope I get to find them, but if I never do, please know that I love you just as the rest of my family.

[charliebear]

Your post is so nice. I personally am not an "adopted" child, but my father is. I can't relate exactly to what you are saying or feeling, but I can relate to a degree. I can relate b/c if my "birthgrandparents" had not decided to follow through with having my father, I wouldn't be here today, nor my own children.

I have always felt like my "cup of life" has been 1/2 empty not knowing about his birth parents. My father on the other has a different perspective. I have felt bad at times growing up with "adoptive" grandparents and not really feeling any connection to them or their family history, which the history has been handed down to me.

Im can only imagine what a person who is adopted has felt. The questions they have had growing up and the things they have wondered about in regards to their biological birth parents.

I can only say and Thank God that my own father and mother chose to marry when I came on the scene and that I do have my birthparents in my life, for which I am truly thankful, grateful and blessed. My father is a wonderful man ~ I couldn't have asked for a better person to be my dad! I would like to think his qualities are qualities that came from not only my "adoptive" grandparents but qualities "inherited" from my "birth grandparents"!

If it is God's will, I would love to find my "birthgrandparents". I have 4 beautiful children I would like them to meet ~ and hopefully they would be proud of us ~ and my father! I am not even sure they are still alive, hopefully it is not too late.

[adoptee&bmom2]

I just wanted to post this thought. I am an adoptee who has found bparents and I have a bdaughter given up for adoption. I am searching for my daughter now. My aparents almost forced me to find my bparents when I had become pregnant and the process was long and I made some decisions that were difficult. My decision now is that I need to find my daughter just to let her know that I love her and I do not want her to have some of the same questions not answered that I still do not have answered. That is my whole motivation.

[jeanette reno]

It was so relieving to read your post. I thought I was crazy. I have always felt love for my bmom, even though I had never met her or knew who she was. I have been afraid to tell anyone this because I really thought they would think I was crazy. I just found her and have talked to her once and I have been debating if I should tell her how I feel, I am afraid I'll scare her away. Anyway thank you for your post, I feel a little more normal now.

[Susan1987]

Jeanette Reno: Please don't hesitate to tell your bmother how you feel about her. I was reunited with my bson in August of this year, and those words "I love you" are tender mercies that I needed to hear. It was those words and the knowledge of how grateful he was to me for the choices that I made to give him life that has helped me to heal.
I would bet anything that your bmom is on a rollercoaster wondering what you are feeling. So don't hesitate to tell her, I know, that she wants to know. It won't scare her away.

Im so glad that I know my bson loves me. Susan 1987

[jeanette reno]

susan, thank you very much for your advice, I just have to work on my courage now.

[Susan1987]

Courage is the key. Honesty is a big part of the relationship between my bson and me. Remember this, many say that the feelings a bmom is having are mirrored of the bchild. I have found that to be true with my bson and me. If I really an wondering I ask him, and we work it out.

Good Luck Susan 1987