[lost1]

I just had a question, I was wondering how many adoptees search more around the time of their birthdays? My birthday is going to be tomorrow and it seems I look more on the registries and sites hoping to see someone looking for me. I guess I think that of all days, that will be the day somebody is definitely thinking about me somewhere and they'll try to find me too! But so far, every year, I find nothing and end up wondering if I have been completely forgotten. True enough, I don't know any of the circumstances surrounding my adoption, and it occurred during the 60's when bmoms were told to 'forget', but still, after all of this time I wonder why nobody is looking for me. And on my b-day it just seems to get to me more. I was just wondering if that happens to anybody else.
By the way, I think this site is fantastic and wish I would have found it a long time ago! No one understands what it is like to be an adoptee better than another adoptee and everyone here has been so supportive. Thank you!

Mary Ann
04/21/65
Illinois

[feelinglost]

Happy, Happy Birthday Mary Ann , In answer to your question, yes I do search more around my B-day, especially since finding this site......Also, when I talk to my Amom I don't think she would have a clue has to how to begin the search if she wanted to....Computors are just not a part of her life...IMO I wonder if some (B-parents) just don't know how!? I don't mean to sound mean, but I wonder if after all these years, it would seem like an impossible task to some? Like for me maybe my B-mom did try, but after too many years past she stopped. I truly don't believe that a b-mom could or would want to ever forget. Maybe they live in silence, but how could they forget, could you forget?? Of course not....I will be in touch soon, I just didn't want your Birthday to go by Without my good wishes....you take care...talk to you soon, Robin

[Robynn1217]

I hope you have a wonderful day and try not to feel forgotten! I'm sure she is thinking of you on this day more than any other. I want to share a little bit of hope with you...When I found my bmom and after talking to her, I found out exactly what you are thinking...she didn't have any idea of what to do and how to start searching. She is fairly computer literate, but still didn't even know what she had a right to do or not to do. My half-sister (by birth) also was starting to look for me, but found that she didn't really know where to start either and was just going by what our mom had told her. Luckily I had ALOT of support from my parents and husband and got good info on my birth certif. Then my search stalled, but I soon found her and it has been wonderful since. Just knowing that she struggled all those years ago makes my heart sink, but I know now that we are filling that hole that was made 28 years ago. Keep your chin up! Your day will come (hopefully sooner than later)! Remember that WE ARE special children that were chosen and given to wonderful parents. I know for sure that they will be thinking of you tomorrow! Happy Birthday!
Robynn

[l-thompson]

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Mary Ann!!

I can't say the desire to search was stronger on my birthday but I can tell you that my birthmother said my birthday was always one of the hardest days of the year for her. I was also a baby from the sixties era where everything was closed and the birthmothers were told to move on and in time they would forget. My birthmother never did. She wanted to search but felt like she had no right to ( she had been told often enough that she had no rights as she had relinguished) She also said she had no idea even where to begin if she had managed to get up the courage to do so. Such a different world back then....

What really pushed me into action was the birth of my first daughter. The day she was born I thought about my birthmother a great deal - very emotional as I held my baby girl wondering if she had done the same with me.

The week of my 40th birthday I flew into Canada to be reunited with my birthmother, birthfather and three full siblings. Dreams can come true........never give up hope!!

[tscales]

Hi. I'm fairly new to this forum but wanted to say, yes, as an adoptee, I always searched more around my birthday. I think curiosity about where I came from and what my birthparents looked like and things that many adoptees feel surfaced more around that time. My adoptive mom always told my brothers and I to say a little prayer for our birthmoms on that day because if she thought of us no other day of the year, certainly she was on that day. I'm also very close to making contact with my birthmom. There have been new developments in the last week and we are working with a neutral third party to set up possible communication. So many emotions I didn't expect are surfacing. Her husband knows about me but apparently her children do not, so it's a very difficult time for her as well and I respect her decision to move things at a snails pace. We'll see how it goes.

Take care and hang in there!
Teri

[blankenb4]

Happy Birthday!

I am a birth mother in search of her birth daughter born June, 1971 in Richmond, VA

[lost1]

Thank you for all of the b-day wishes and also giving me some sense of hope in spite of all of this frustration. Maybe it is just a matter of my b-mom not knowing where to start with a search or knowing if she even can. One of the things that makes it a little more difficult for me, is the fact that she already had 5 other children before me and as far as I know, from non-id info., she still had them with her. I don't even know if any of them know anything about me, or if I even exist! So many years of not having anywhere to vent this frustration and feeling unsupported by wanting to know where I came from...I just can't say enough times how grateful I am for this site and the support from other members. Best wishes to you all in your searches/reunions.
Mary Ann

[NikkiLGA]

Hang in there Mary Ann, and Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday to you.

I am reunited with members of my b-family. My b-mom, Liz died as a result of injuries received in a car accident on November 5, 1977. (You can read my story at adoption.com, June 17, 2003 emag, story entitled "He Did THis for Us" by Nikki Lever).

I was never actively searching, but I will say that around my birthday, I always wondered about my b-mom, where was she, did she think of me on that day, or did she forget? I learned that she never forgot, and she had began searching for me. She was 16 when I was born, and didn't realize the impact relinquishing me would have on her life.

I must say it was wonderful to spend my 30th birthday (April 30, 2003) with both my a-family and my b-family and friends. After the celebration, my husband, son, and I went by the cemetery to pay respects to her, for had she not chosen to give birth to me, I wouldn't even been able to celebrate 30, you know. Yet, I must now admit that with my birthday approaching again, I feel a bit of sadness in my heart for Liz (I actually feel sadness many times, but I try to look at the good things and not dwell on what I cannot change). I can only wish she was here to share my special day with me, but I feel she is watching from Heaven. She's in my heart, and will always be.

Its sad what b-moms in the 60's and 70's had to go through. I know Liz never forgot me, no matter how hard people wanted her to forget. She was persistent. I can't say for sure, but I don't think your b-mom has forgotten you. You are in her heart, and I pray one day you will be reunited.

Love & prayers - NikkiLGA

[nancy22]

Dear Mary Ann,

Belated birthday greetings! My birthday is April 22nd, too. Yes, I do tend to search more on and around my birthday. I chose to believe that someone IS looking for me, but they just haven't looked in the right place yet. I also go into a flurry of searching activity every time I go to the doctor and am asked those stupid medical questions that no adoptee from my era can answer. I worry that my birth relatives have diseases that will strike me down - silly stuff that takes on a life of its own at 2 a.m.

I hope you continue looking. I know that I won't stop. Feel free to write any time.

Nancy22

[maries]

My daughter was born May 5, 1964 in Moline, Illinois. She was placed in foster care until 1969. Do you know where you were born and how old you were when you were adopted?

Regards,

Valerie