[francie169]

first of all, I would like someone to tell me what ISO means... i have no idea!

Also, I have been searching the internet for a while when i came upon a posting here that told me to look on www.txcare.org i looked on there with little hope to find anything in the registry. But, sure enought just when i was about to give up I found something. A posting directly matched all of my information. The problem was, her last post was 4 years ago. I emailed her with no response, probably a change in email. I am so anxious for a response. Can anyone help me please!! i looked up people with the same last name in that area, but i am too afraid to call. What should i do??????

[sspete]

ISO.....Means In Search Of......

If your bmom is looking for you, but possibly forgot to change her email address on the registry, it might be a good idea to write a letter To the address you have. I would not call!!!! You can write a letter saying that you are searching for someone who might be related to you. Ask in the letter if your birthdate means anything special to that person. Maybe just maybe you will get a response!!! I wish you the best of luck....Hopefully you will be able to located someone who knows exactly who you are!!!

Staci

[shirleyville]

Congratualtions, Francie!!! Welcome to the biggest rollercoaster ride of your life!!
How long ago did you send the e-mail? Since the posting was four years old, there is a good chance that the address has changed, but then again, maybe not. Maybe she isn't one to check her mail every day -- I know a lot of people like that! OR maybe she's read it and is taking a little time to absorb the shock that she's actually been "found"! I know that many people, although they are out there "posting" who never really expect it to "happen"....and when it does, they need a little time to process the situation before they respond.
If it hasn't been very long, give her a little time. If you feel that suffcient time has passed, I am with Staci....send a letter to the address you have. Calling is a really bad idea unless it is the only resort you have. It can cause an awkward and emotional moment to become even more awkward and emotional.. First contact is oh so important and you want things to be as comfortable for both of you as possible. I've helped a lot of people with their first contact letters, so if you find yourself stuck, let me know, and I would be happy to try to help you out.
You could also try re-sending another e-mail to the address that you have......simply say something along the lines of "I recently sent you an e-mail regarding a posting you placed on "XYZ" website. I understand that my contact may come as some shock to you, which is understandable. I am willing to give you whatever time you need to absorb the situation, and would only lrequest a confirmation that you have received my messages, so that I know I have contacted the correct person. If you have received my messages in error, please let me know this, as well, so that I may continue my search."
At least that way, she knows you are not out to pressure her, but she will also know that you need to have some sort of confirmation in order to know how to proceed.
Please keep us posted!!
Hugs,
Sally

[francie169]

Thank you both for your wonderful advice, the problem is I have 18 different addresses and phone numbers that could possibly be her. I tried sending another email and i got an ERROR message back. Your advice is wonderful, and I wish i could take it... believe me!! I think i will just wait for the adoption registry to come through!


Also do any of you know if birthmoms are aware of the adoption registry?!?!?!

[joeswife]

I think that some are aware but not all.

Dh's birthmother was not aware of it but his sister was.

Jennifer

[Fastdraw]

ISO = In Search Of

[colleenmarie]

I sent out ~50 letters to possible birth family member. I wrote, "I'm researching my family genealogy can you help me. The surname I'm looking for is ________." I've gotten some responses, but not the right one. I did send a more personal letter 4 days ago. I have 2 confirming searches that point me to the same address. I hope she contacts me! The waiting is SO hard!!! I hope she's not mad at my letter. STILL WAITING and feeling like I"m going insane, Colleen