[mlstevens]

I sent her a letter initiating contact. Sent it certified and return receipt. It was received on Sept 2, unfortunatly her husband was the one who signed for it. So it has been two weeks now, which really isn't that long but it seems like an eternity. I was thinking possibly waiting another week and sending another letter since I don't know for sure she got the first one, or doing a follow up call. Any suggestions?

[sspete]

Oh boy.....the waiting game!!!! It is so terribly difficult I know!!! Two weeks though seems like an eternity to you is really not very long for someone just receiving the news that they are being looked for!!! Do you have ANY idea if her husband knows about you??? Hopefully he does and he gave her the letter!!! It is my prayer for you that she will contact you soon, but do try to give it a little time. It takes some a while to get over the shock of contact. Give her about a month, if she does not respond by then.....try again!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you for much patience during your waiting period!!!! Blessings.....

S Pete

[durangowht]

I just read you posting and a am on the reverse end of the situation. I sent a letter to my daughter who I found on this adoption registry. She started looking for me in 2001 and I didn't start looking until she turned 21 in August. I sent a letter and I have not heard anything. I am worried the adoptive parents got the letter and did not pass it on to her. I am thinking about calling her tommorow. I am so nervous, excited, elated and just want to talk to her. I will be thinking about you. I cannot imagine any birthmom not wanting her child back in her life. For 21 years I have been aching, worrying and wondering if she was okay and happy. Good luck. I know it is miserable waiting.

[Cherry]

Let us know what happens

[phder]

I sent my letter to BMom on Sept. 6 and got the receipt back that she signed for it on the 10th, and no word yet. I am trying to be patient - it took me almost a month to get my letter right, and I'd been thinking about it for quite a while before that. I am figuring that at least, she is the right person since I included a self-addressed stamped envelope and asked that she return the letter if she wasn't. So if that were the case, I figure I would have gotten it back by now. But I also have been wondering - how long do I wait? A month seems reasonable. But I know she got it, as she signed for it.

I knew the waiting would be rough, but every day I call my husband to see if anything's come in the mail and every day that goes by with no word, I get a little bit more nervous.

So if October 10th comes and goes, what do I do then? I know - I should wait and cross that bridge when I get to it. It seems like I would feel better if I had a plan, though. Should my next step be to have an intermediary/relative/friend call? Send another letter? Call her myself? Use the adoption agencies CI (she's in CT)?



Good luck mistevens - hope we both get good news soon!

[mlstevens]

I know exactly how you feel. Hopefully we will both hear from them, sooner rather than later.

[eap67]

Try to be patient and remind yourself that when your adoption took place times and society was much different. It is quite possible that the same influences in your birth mother's life are still there. It was a year and 1/2 before by birth mother wrote me a letter providing much of the information that I wanted; however, she can still not bring herself to face-to-face contact. She has had decades of thinking that I hate her for her decision and trying to forget. It takes time to deal with and act on those feelings so please try to be patient and not judge her. The mother/child bond cannot often be broken but it will take alot of courage on her part to accept and deal with her past decisions.

[NANALYNN]

I recently was reunited w/my b-daughter after over 28 yrs. We have spoken on the phone a couple of times and she has spoken with my other daughter. There are a million things going through your b-mom's mind - almost like re-living that time period. It may be that her spouse and other children did not know about you. Please be patient and give her time to adjust knowing that you are back in her life. My emotions are truly all over the place, from total fear of what is expected from me and complete happiness that she is alive and well - with 3 children!!
It's not even been a week yet but with each day comes more confidence and less apprehension. I look forward to the day we can meet face to face. In time your b-mom will, too.
God Bless!!