[allgirl5]

I have AN ISSUE WITH MY 9 YEAR OLD.SHE IS NOT BIOLOGICLY MINE. THIS CHILD HAS BEEN A PART OF MY LIFE SINCE THE DAY SHE WAS BORN. ME AND HER MOTHER ARE SEPERATED NOW AND I POSSES THE CHILD AND HER YOUNGER SISTER. I AM NOW MARRIED AND HAVE ANOTHER BABY GIRL. THE 9 YEAR OLDS MOTHER IS UNEMPLOYED HAS NO RESIDENCE AND HAS DONE NOTHING TO SUPPORT HER TWO CHILDREN SHE ALSO BATTELS DRUG ADDICTION. SHE HAS HAD SEVERAL MEN TESTED FOR DNA AND NONE OF THEM WERE THE FATHER. i AM AT A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO SECURE COUSTEDY OF THIS CHILD SO IF ANYONE THAT READS THIS CAN OFFER ME SOME ADVICE I WOULD APPRECIATE IT I CAN BE REACHED THREW M E MAIL AT DANGERHALO@YAHOO.COM THANK YOU

[Nicole28]

I don't know much about the LAWS in regards to your situation - I also assume that the laws would be different in every state - BUT I am wondering whether or not you have actually adopted this 9 year old girl, or if she is just in your custody? I would imagine that, IF you have not legally adopted her, that would be your next course of action. If you have solid evidence that her biological mother has been an absent parent and that you have basically raised her and she considers you to be her parent, I would imagine that, in the best interest of this child, that it would be something that would be legally feasible. You would [I am 98% sure about this] have to have the biological mother relinquish her rights as a parent, though. I am not sure if her rights can be terminated by the courts, although I imagine that they could be if there is just cause [i.e. her drug use].

I would suggest that you maybe call a lawyer and start asking questions, or maybe contact someone involved in the family court system?? Depending on the state that you reside in, there's probably information available online as far as adoption and termination of parental rights is concerned - do a Google search for "Adoption Process in [your state here]" or something related.

Good luck. I hope that the story of these two young girls has a happy ending.

[Nicole28]

Here's more information pertaining to adoption laws in Virginia - -

Who Must Consent to an Adoption

Statute: §§ 48.41; 48.42

* A parent may consent to a voluntary termination of parental rights.
* A petition may also be filed by an agency or other authorized person.

In other words, if the biological mother voluntarily terminated her parental rights, that would certainly be much easier than if the courts had to go through the process of deeming her an "unfit parent."

Age When Consent of Adoptee is Considered or Required

Statute: § 48.837

* Any child 12 years of age or older is required to attend the hearing pertaining to his adoptive placement.

I am guessing that these two young girls would prefer to remain in your custody, so this is just a sidenote.

Parental consent is NOT needed when:

* Parental rights have been terminated due to failure of the parents to assume responsibility.
* The parent has abandoned the child.
* There is continuing parental disability.
* The parent has abused the child.
* The parent has relinquished custody of the child when the child was 72 hours old or younger.
* The parent has failed to assume responsibility for the child or to establish a substantial relationship with the child.
* The parent has caused the child to be conceived as a result of incest or sexual assault.
* The parent has been convicted of homicide or of solicitation to commit homicide of the child’s other parent.

I guess - in this case - the bio-mother's lack of involvement could potentially be considered abandonment?

Here's contact info: Contact: Legislative Information
(804) 698-1500

Web Site: Welcome to the Virginia General Assembly Website. [for more info]

Who May Adopt

Statute: § 48.82

* A resident of the State
* A husband and wife jointly
* A stepparent
* An unmarried adult

Effect on Parental Rights
Statute: § 48.415

* The court may grant involuntary termination of parental rights on the grounds that custody has been relinquished.

(Child Welfare Information Gateway)

Hopefully that gives you a place to start. A friend of mine suggested that your first step be contacting social services in your county and filing some kind of complaint [for lack of a better term] regarding the biological mother's lack of parental involvement - and inquire about what YOU are able to as her current guardian. My friend also suggested that you file some kind of document citing you as the legal guardian, if you have not already done so, as a preventative measure - you know, just in case this process gets complicated and the bio-mother makes any kind of attempt to regain custody or fight you along the way.

Good luck.