[Ladyofmoonlight]

Arrrg, I feel like I'm already going insane, and I haven't even started the process yet! We've been having so much trouble finding an agency.

Our "problem areas":
1-We're young - I'm 24, hubby's 22. We're eligible, we know this, but so many agencies don't want people under age 25, married or not.

2-We want to adopt two at once, related or not. I know twins are rare and most sibling groups would be too old for us to adopt given that we can only take children 20 years younger than us. We want the option of adopting two unrelated children, but many agencies feel uncomfortable with this, or with adopting two children out at all.

At least I know that we could adopt one. We've found an agency that we love that would allow that. But we truly are set on adopting two at once, and I don't honestly see what the problem is. It's another child out of an orphanage and into a nice home. Yes, it will be a bit harder when they both come home. Yes, I know it will take a LOT of work and there are times it will drive me absolutely insane. Yes, I know I need a support network, and I have one, a rather large one actually that's all very excited about having two new children to love and care for.

It's just driving me bonkers that I can't seem to find an agency that will both adopt to us, and adopt two children at once. I've already spoken with 3 agencies, looked at many more that outright won't adopt to us, and have sent off a bunch of emails today to agencies that might adopt to us.

Agency A is nice, but not licensed yet. I may end up having to go back with them, if they get their license soon. They discourage the adoption of two at once, but they also said we could still do it and we're eligible. Agency B is WONDERFUL so far, and says we're eligible, but doesn't want to adopt two at once. I'm still speaking with them, though, because I really get such a good feeling from them. I'm hoping maybe something can be worked out... Agency C... Heard some bad things and lots of great things. I emailed them and didn't get a response. Then I called and they were veeery disorganized. Said they'd call back the next day. As this was last week, I called again today. Veeeeery disorganized again, and as soon as I mentioned my age they started to speak down to me. Yes, I know I'm young, I realize not many people our age have applied to adopt, mostly because we're so discouraged from doing so. They said they wanted to questions my motives for adopting two at once. Then they sent me an email a couple hours later stating that I could not get CIS approval until I was 25 and that I needed to wait another year until I had a birthday. I very kindly emailed them back, after rereading the government page on CIS eligibility, and informed them that this was not the case and that if they insist on turning away PAPs under 25 they should make it an agency policy and post it on their website like most of the other agencies. I'm fine with an agency feeling uncomfortable dealing with people under 25. I'm not fine with an agency that can't read a couple lines off a simple government document.

Oy, okay, done venting. This is seriously driving me insane, though! We're so anxious to get started now. I would like to have our children home by the end of next year, but the way things are going... I'm already looking into other countries, but it just feels wrong. Adopting two from Vietnam is what feels right to us. I just don't understand why a home with two empty bedrooms, a stable income, a huge support network, a stay at home mom, and years of childcare experience would be turned down for taking two children out of an orphanage and giving them a good life, especially when we meet all government requirements and have found the financial means to do so.

Okay, I'm now going to spend the rest of the day doing something that makes me happy, and then tomorrow I'll hopefully get some responses back from the other agencies I emailed and I can start speaking with them.

Hope everyone's having a better day than me,
-Megan

[kgroo]

Megan - I would be happy to tell you about my agency if you want to PM me. The only thing that I can tell you about the 2 at once thing is that there is a waiting list right now, some longer than others, and if you adopt 2 at once you are making the people after you on the list you wait longer for their referal. I hope I don't offend with this.
Kristen

[devildogwife]

I COMPLETELY identify your frustration with the age issue! DH and I will be 23 when we start and know without a doubt that we can get CIS approval; however the majority of agencies don't believe that! Since we have found an agency that we are happy with that will still work with us despite our age, we are just sticking with them. I do not have time to waste any energy on the many many agencies that are misinformed! I believe I saw online that there is an agency that will let you adopt 2 at once, PM if you want the name. I don't know if they'll have a problem with your ages or not , but it's worth a try.

[GuatMommy2Be]

My husband is 23, I'm 22 (23 in October.) We already have our USCIS approval .. so it IS possible. However, when contacting agencies I would tell them that you spoke to the USCIS officer in your town and the age 25 requirement is for SINGLES ONLY. Or go ahead, get approved NOW, and then call later with it in your hand.

[Ladyofmoonlight]

Thanks for the encouragement. I just got an email from yet another agency stating that Nik and I can't get CIS approval until we're 25. How are these people in business? They can't even read a simple government document! At least I know the agency I like (er, Agency B) can read. Hopefully we'll be able to work something out with them about adopting two at once.

I'm looking into other countries now, but I'm so set on adopting from Vietnam. It just feels like what we're supposed to be doing, and I can't picture us doing anything different. I can't even picture us miraculously having biological children, haha!

[Mihoshi]

I was repeatedly told this as well (that 25 was the minimum age) and we were even asked to leave an information meeting because it was crowded and we weren't eligible according to them. I think, to a degree, the people who make these policies have decided that people under 25 aren't mature or financially stable enough to adopt - this is how I feel we've been treated.

But, if you've ever been in the social worker scene, they're often clueless as to what's going on in their work place. I called one who wasn't even aware that India changed their age requirements to 30+ - and India was the only program she ran! SW's are told "no one under 25" without detail and so they tell everyone else it's the law, and they are not interested in finding out if they're wrong. They usually get a lot of people tell them how to do their job, or get very rude with them for various reasons (ie, where's my referal it's over the deadline!, etc). So then they dismiss a lot of people who have legitimate concerns because they're so used to know-it-alls who don't have a clue (and the sw's who used work with unruley teens are the absolute worse for this behavior I've noticed). This isn't every sw or agency, but quite a few I've called have been this way.

We've also just turned to Vietnam because of the lower age limit. We're both 22 and hoping to adopt start the process next summer (as we're house shopping now and are anticipating renovations).

I've found three agencies that work with people under 25 in Vietnam - if you'd like to pm and compare notes I'd be happy to.

As for the two at once (again we're in a similar boat), we'd like to apply for twins even though there is a slim chance, and siblings are typically going to be too old for us to legally accept. If it's not in our cards, then what can you do about it? We're young enough that if we don't get our "dream" adoption we'll be more than happy to adopt again later.

If you are 100% set on two at once, and Vietnam just won't give, I would suggest thinking about another country with loose age requirements, like Guatemala or Russia. I've heard of several people who are adopting two different children from two different agencies/countries at the same time without too much fuss.

Other than that, you might have a difficult time getting over that issue. A lot of places want you to have one child home at least six months before taking on another (or it is this way around here at least).

[devildogwife]

I know this thread is a little old-but I really thougth this was worth posting. I know quite a few of us young married couples have had agencies telling us that we won't get CIS approval under 25years of age. We all know that we can get approval, so I finally called CIS in LA and talked to an officer there. She was wonderful and took me step-by-step online to the actual code that says married couples can be of any age. Here is something tangible that you can refer your agencies to:
Immigration Laws

Scroll down a little bit and look under petitioner and that has VERY clear wording on married couples being any age. If anyone wants the step-by-step instructions to it, just PM me. Hope this helps alleviate some frustration for everybody!
Leah

[soontobethree]

What is "PAP?" Also, it could be that just because the USCIS web site does not indicate the 25 year old age minimum, doesn't mean they don't follow that rule. If there is one thing I have learned during our adoptions, it's that even governments don't always follow their own documented guidelines. Could it be that those agencies that told you of the minimum are going by experience rather than what the web site says? Frustrating I know, but I wanted to throw out those points.

Melanie

[soontobethree]

According to this page on the USCIS website:

How Do I Apply to Bring a Foreign-Born Orphan to the United States?

Who is eligible to file an orphan petition?
A married U.S. citizen and spouse (no special age) or an unmarried U.S. citizen at least 25 years of age may file an orphan petition
....

[devildogwife]

What is "PAP?" Also, it could be that just because the USCIS web site does not indicate the 25 year old age minimum, doesn't mean they don't follow that rule. If there is one thing I have learned during our adoptions, it's that even governments don't always follow their own documented guidelines. Could it be that those agencies that told you of the minimum are going by experience rather than what the web site says? Frustrating I know, but I wanted to throw out those points.

I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say. Your post wasn't clear to me at all. Yes, USCIS will issue approval to a married couple under 25. There are MANY examples of that on the Guatemala board. In the U.S., they do have to follow that regulation. Agencies misinform people simply because they don't do their research. They look at the wording on the form for the I600A which is confusing, instead of looking at the actual regulation, which is obviously where they need to be looking. Fortunately, I found a homestudy agency and placement agency that does know how to read!

[soontobethree]

Sorry for the confusion, what I meant was that the person at USCIS who grants the approval might still reject someone under age 25 even though there is no policy that dictates it and I thought maybe the agency had experience with that happening. We all hope that the government bureaucracies are well greased machines while really they are just people who are subject to error or subjective opinions. Glad you found someone who can read--very helpful indeed.

Looks like you and I were looking at the same regulation.
Oh and by the way! Thank you for your service and sacrifices as a military wife.

[taramayrn]

PAP is potential adoptive parent.

[devildogwife]

soontobethree-thanks for clarifying your post for me and for the kind words. I greatly appreciate it!

[sak9645]

The USCIS does NOT have a problem approving married couples under age 25 as long as there is a history of financial stability.

While the USCIS looks carefully at all aspects of the I-600A application and homestudy, it is particularly concerned about preventing situations where a child is brought to the U.S. and:

1. Made to engage in immoral or illegal activities, such as slavery or prostitution.

2. Abused or neglected, or subjected to extremely bad parenting by a mentally ill person or a person who is chronically under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

3. Led to believe that criminal behavior is acceptable, by the example of a parent.

4. Abandoned or relinquished.

5. Becomes a recipient of public assistance because the parent cannot provide for him/her financially.

The only pertinent area in your case is the issue of ability to provide financially for your child. Because many people under 25 are just starting out in the work world and have limited experience with earning and saving money, obtaining appropriate insurance, using credit responsibly, and so on, the USCIS will scrutinize the financial component of your homestudy report with greater care than it might if you were older.

I cannot imagine any adoption officer in the USCIS being unfamiliar with the provision of U.S. immigration law that allows the I-600A to be approved for married couples under 25, but not for singles. If a young couple has an I-600A denied, it is usually because of financial issues or issues pertaining to mental health, substance abuse, or criminal history.

Sharon

[MNStarr]

I'm from the Guatemalan forum but DH and I were granted our 171H and I was 21 and he was 22. For Guatemala we did have a harder time finding an agency to take us on, even though we met all the requirements.