[unsuremom]

I am almost 30 and a single mother of a wonderful 20 month old lilltle boy. He is the apple of my eye. But the road has been hard with no support from his father from the day I became pregnant. Now I am pregnant again and don't feel I can take care of 2 children alone. I am considering adoption but I have mixed feelings. I was adopted at the age of 3 and was just reunited with my birthmother/family 3 years ago. We were taken away by the courts from both parents, split up and adopted. My mother went on to have 2 more children making it 5 in all. She tells me that she was heart broken for more than 21 years looking for us. So knowing how it feels to be on the adoptee side and the trauma my birth family had to go through with losing us really confuses me. I feel that this would be the best thing for my unborn child but the pressure is tremendous. What should I do? It's not the same situation to me. But my family won't see it that way.

[mcraejl]

I am an adoptee and adoptive mother so I have been on 2 sides. I feel that you must make the desicion that is right for your children. If you are talking about adoption for the unborn baby you may need to pick a couple that would be interested in doing an open adoption so that your 20 mnth old would always know where the sibling is and also you can still have contact with the child. An open adoption would also mean that no one would have to look for any one. It can be rewarding. In either case adoption or not make sure you have a good support system.

[wendy34]

I am not a adoptee, but we are wanting to adopt. I have to agree with mcraejl about open adoption. That is the way my husband and I are wanting to go. I feel like the bparents need to know where that child is. The only time we think a bparent should not know is if it is in foster care. We look at it this way if the ** and bf (if involve) decided to put their infant up for adoption at least they are not taking a life away from a infant. Life is so precious. There are to many people out here wanting children that can't have children. Look at it this way you are giving that adoptive family a chance at raising your child. I think adoption is a wonderful thing.

[tobeafamily]

I'd recommend you get in touch with Brenda Romanchik at Open Adoption Insight (google the organization name for her website w/contact info). Brenda's a birthmom and an adoption educator. She may have some excellent advice and resources for you.

Best of luck,

Regina

[KellyStacy]

You need to decide what you think is best for your unborn child.Adoption is not for everyone.I am on the other side of adoption -we want to adopt.I know the thousands of couples out there looking to adopt and I know the wonderful homes and the abundance of love and stability that can be given to your child.The most important decision however needs to come from you.I strongly advise you to truely make sure adoption is what you want you never want to regret giving your baby up.Whatever you decide know that you will be giving your baby the most precious gift ever and that is the gift of life!! Not enough people give biological parents credit for giving up a child that choice must be the biggest most courageous gift of love--Its a lot different now a days you even have the choice to pick out the adoptive parents.You can have an open or closed adoption.You need to pick a couple who would respect your wishes for your unborn child.I am sure you will easily find a couple that you will become instantly sure they will be the right ones if you decide to give your child up.The mixed feelings of adoption from your post leads me to really ask are you sure you want to give your baby up? What about the biological dad? You need to look at all the options then decide.God Bless you and your decision.