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  #1  
Old 11-28-2010, 04:02 AM
WillowKathleen WillowKathleen is offline
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The IUD malfunctioned, and the condom broke, and the spermicide failed, all at once.

Do you think this is an act of God, or maybe just fate? I wasn't sure I believed in God, fate, karma or anything else of the sort, but the situation I find myself in seems so improbable, I'm having trouble finding another explanation. I chose not to terminate when I could have partly because it seemed like maybe there's a reason this is happening. I told the father this, but he just laughed and said he just had awful luck and he doesn't think God exists, but if He does, He's been a complete ***. I think I'd like another viewpoint.
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  #2  
Old 11-28-2010, 09:34 AM
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adriennemarie adriennemarie is offline
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I guess it depends on your views about God and his presence in your life.

I believe with all of my heart that everything happens for a reason. I believe that God has a plan for each one of us, and maybe we are the direct recipent of the plan, or perhaps we're his instruments at that time.

I also believe he gives us the intelligence, compassion, and free will to make decisions in our lives and that he's not always steering the boat, but maybe blowing down from heaven to guide the sails. LOL

3 malfuctions like that does suck if you were clearly trying to prevent a pregnancy. I would be freaking out if it was me too.

I hope you can figure out something and that it all falls into place.

((hugs))
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  #3  
Old 12-04-2010, 06:10 AM
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Isabo Isabo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adriennemarie
I believe with all of my heart that everything happens for a reason. I believe that God has a plan for each one of us, and maybe we are the direct recipent of the plan, or perhaps we're his instruments at that time.

WillowKathleen,
Congratulations on your unexpected Motherhood!! You have been blessed, and I hope that you can get over the surprise and feel the blessing! Please don't start viewing yourself as an instrument!! (to deliver a baby for someone else). I certainly made that mistake, and I never allowed myself to feel and believe that I was the Mother that God intended for MY CHILD. I am sure you are just thinking about options right now, but I hope that the FIRST option you explore is being a parent to your child. The loss of a child to adoption is never ending. It is a grief you will carry with you for the rest of your life.

I truly believe that God wanted me to be the ONLY mother to my child, but that I was so filled with shame that I could not hear his message.

Best wishes to you!
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  #4  
Old 12-04-2010, 09:24 AM
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crick crick is offline
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I've deleted unhelpful posts because this is a forum for women faced with an unplanned pregnancy and what we deem as supportive on here is a safe place to vent, share etc. WITHOUT being told one way or the other what they should do, should not do or are meant to do.

Please be mindful of this in future posts as we really need to provide support without it being a "Do this, don't do this" directive. (Sharing from experience is fine, I'm simply saying we aren't here to tell someone what to do but rather help support them as they explore their decisions, thoughts, options etc.)

Thanks!
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  #5  
Old 12-04-2010, 03:11 PM
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kakuehl kakuehl is offline
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WillowKathleen, I must first tell you I believe in God. (A good thing since I am an ordained pastor in the Lutheran Church.) I am also the birthmom of a son born my senior year in college. At that time I felt (and still feel) that my pregnancy was the direct result of my on choices; that God allowed it to happen because that's the way the world has been created. (Have sex, baby may follow...) I believe that it's God intention that the structure of the family be in place first. As humans we often do what is not best for us. Babies can hasten a marriage that would have happened anyway; they can be the "cause" of a marriage or extended relationship that ends up being very toxic. There are a number of posibilities. In my case, I wanted my son to have parents who were ready and wanting to parent. In part, I may have been punishing myself for "breaking the rules" I had been taught. I knew I would not have done well as a mother in that point in my life and I wanted better for him. (No, not financially, I wanted him to have a mother who wouldn't, in down moments and times of frustration, blame him for his own birth.)

For good or for bad, that was my reasoning. After I was married and had two more children, my husband felt we shouldn't (couldn't afford) to have more. After years of using 2 forms of contraceptive at all times, I have my tubes tied. My thought at that point was if I got pregnant then, God was trying to tell me something! My daughter always wanted a younger sibiling and when I'd remind her that I'd had my tubes tied, she'd remind me of her friend who was born after her mother's tubal ligation.

The only 100% effective method of birth control is total abstinence. (And Christians would point to the Blessed Virgin Mary as a question of that statement.)
All I can say to you is that you did your best not to become pregnant at a time you weren't ready and your attempt failed. I refuse to call any child and accident (even if accidentally conceived.) I still believe that every baby deserves to be wanted and loved. You are the only person who can decide if you can be that person for this child.

I believe that you, the baby and the baby's father are all loved unconditionally by God. I will keep you in my prayers that you may experience Ged's presence, love and support in the midst of this challenging time for you.
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Birth mom to D (10/4/72)
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"Weeping may linger for the night,
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  #6  
Old 12-05-2010, 05:51 PM
amm1978 amm1978 is offline
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I think everything happens for a reason. I'm glad you didn't terminate the pregnancy. Hopefully you will understand that reason soon and figure out what the best plan is for you and your baby.
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  #7  
Old 12-06-2010, 07:44 AM
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adriennemarie adriennemarie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabo
WillowKathleen,
Congratulations on your unexpected Motherhood!! You have been blessed, and I hope that you can get over the surprise and feel the blessing! Please don't start viewing yourself as an instrument!! (to deliver a baby for someone else). I certainly made that mistake, and I never allowed myself to feel and believe that I was the Mother that God intended for MY CHILD. I am sure you are just thinking about options right now, but I hope that the FIRST option you explore is being a parent to your child. The loss of a child to adoption is never ending. It is a grief you will carry with you for the rest of your life.

I truly believe that God wanted me to be the ONLY mother to my child, but that I was so filled with shame that I could not hear his message.

Best wishes to you!

Isabo,
I understand you may be sensative to all things adoption, but my "instrument" I didn't mean an instrument for delivering a baby for someone else. I meant it as a VERY broad term that applies to ALL things in life. Sometimes we're a direct result of a plan, and sometimes not. I believe that bad/hard/unexpected things happen to people becaue of a bigger purpose. In my own life I have gone through things that were hard, and I can step back and see that it's not always about me.

THAT is what I meant.
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  #8  
Old 12-11-2010, 09:40 AM
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Dbabyadventure Dbabyadventure is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillowKathleen
Do you think this is an act of God, or maybe just fate? I wasn't sure I believed in God, fate, karma or anything else of the sort, but the situation I find myself in seems so improbable, I'm having trouble finding another explanation. I chose not to terminate when I could have partly because it seemed like maybe there's a reason this is happening. I told the father this, but he just laughed and said he just had awful luck and he doesn't think God exists, but if He does, He's been a complete ***. I think I'd like another viewpoint.
You don't have to believe in God to believe in some greater purpose. Clearly this pregnancy was meant to be. Thank you for giving this baby a chance

Best of luck to you!
Sincerely,
Courtney
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  #9  
Old 05-07-2011, 12:52 AM
ArtistAndrea ArtistAndrea is offline
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I applaud your decision to give this child life.

As an adult adoptee, I also want to point out that placing the baby for adoption IS a loving choice as well.

If you want to parent the baby, that's wonderful and I wish you only the best.

If you don't want to parent at this time, giving birth and giving him/her up is a wonderful gift for the adoptive parents and I wish you only the best.

Don't feel pressured into doing something that isn't right for you.

Andrea
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  #10  
Old 05-12-2011, 10:11 AM
decemberlily decemberlily is offline
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I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, that must be very tough for you. I am in a similar situation, my birth control failed and I'm pregnant.

I don't know that myself or anyone can really tell you whether what happened is an act of god, I think that's really something you feel in your own heart. Personally, I don't think I got pregnant by fate or god or anything like that. I am not personally religious, I think that I got pregnant simply by bad timing and my birth control failing. Our bodies are made to get pregnant and have babies, and sometimes your body just wins out against all your precautions.

Wishing you the best. <3
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