[flasinglemommy]

I am 11 weeks pregnant by my fiance. We are not going to get married any time soon. We had a rocky relationship before, and now that I am unexpectedly pregnant, it has gotten harder.

He wanted adoption right from the start, but agreed to be supportive and a good father should I choose to keep our baby. (He also recently moved six hours away for a better job opportunity and probably would not be able to find work again near me in his field. I do not want to move away from my current residence because I grew up here and have family/friend support here.)

The past few weeks I had been leaning more and more toward keeping my baby. I have a reasonable job with salary, and I'm in my 30s. But I am on COBRA insurance which is expensive, and I was not even sure previously that I would ever want children at all.

Today, I got an email via my mother from a cousin in another state. She is married with two children and she and her husband are interested in adopting my baby, if I don't want to keep him/her.

My cousin is a very sweet and kind mother, educated and loving. I don't see her much or talk to her nowadays, but I have a lot of respect for that branch of my family and know they would be good parents. Her husband is a pilot and a good, strong person. They even said they would buy a plane ticket for me to come spend time with them if I wanted to get to know them and their children better.

She also said it could be an open adoption, but I am not sure if that is better or worse. How would I feel some day, seeing MY baby, and not having it in my life?

The idea of adoption is somewhat a relief, especially with someone I know and could trust. But will I horribly regret it some day? Just looking for some opinions. I don't know much about any of this -- motherhood, pregnancy, adoption, or anything. Thank you.

[marysbaby]

I am a birthmom who has very open adoptions with my birth children's families. I chose open adoption so I could be a part of their lives. it doesn't mean I parent them, more like an aunt who comes to visit occasionally. and yes, my children know I am their birthmother.

adoption is not an easy path no matter what type you chose. but at least with open, you'll know your child is loved and taken care of...so you won't always be wondering if they really are.
just remember to take your time making your decision. best wishes to you and your baby.