[christy88]

i am new here and really need some help. i am due in feb and do not really know whaat i want to do. adoption seems like the only answer and i do not know where to turn. can someone send me a message. i reallyjust need to talk it out.

[JustPeachy]

Can you give a little more details? Why does adoption seem like the only answer at this point? Have you examined all your options, including parenting? Are there services in your area that could help you if you chose to raise your child? It sounds like you need to have all the facts, and then make a decision from there. And take all the time you need. You will want to re-examine your decision after your baby is born, too. Nothing has to be set in stone prior to having your baby, and you should take all the time you need to make this decision. I am a birthmom who chose adoption after carefully examining all my options. I believe for me and my child, it was the best choice, though it was not easy, by any means. There are a lot of very helpful people here who understand what you are going through, so I hope you will stick around!

[taramayrn]

Welcome to the forums. I hope you are able to find some support and understanding here.

Just so you know adoption.com is not a matching site. So it is against our rules for someone to contact you in hopes of adopting your baby and it is also against our rules for you to contact someone in hopes they will adopt your baby.

If someone does contact you please let myself or one of the other mods know. People who solicite could face a ban from our site.

[christy88]

this will be my first baby. im not in a dood situtation to bring a child into. i do not want any ties to him. i really jus dont feel like i have an option. i really dont feel like i could take care of her right now.

[MommaKatja]

Christy I'm sorry you're going through this stressful time and I hope you find some answers and support here to help you through it.

I'm not sure of your exact situation but I'll answer your post as best as I can with what you've already said. If you want to get more specific either here or in PMs more specific answers can be given.

First I'd like to say congratulations on your pregnancy. It may not seem like something to celebrate at this time but I wish someone had said that to me 7 years ago so I will say it to you.

Second take a deep breath while time seems to be flying and February seems like it is right around the corner it is still a month and a half away you do NOT have to a decision right now.

Adoption can be a good plan but its has its down side as well. There are also different types of adoption including open adoption which is only legally enforceable in certain states.
You said you don't want any ties to him (i'm assuming you are referring to your baby's father). Regardless of your choice you are going to have ties to him. Even if you choose a completely closed adoption you will be tied to him through this baby who is out there somewhere.
As someone who sometimes feels smothered by the permanent tie to my ex I hate to be the one to say it but there is no undoing it.
Again if you'd like to me be more specific on anything I've said or address something I haven't just ask.
~Katja

[csisemore]

could you ask your doctor to reccommend an agency or non profit group who specializes in this to help you???

[cetalley]

IF I am not mistaken, she has decided to keep her baby...YEAH!

[memoriestwobe]

Im a mother of three children and Im currently in the process of helping my mother locate a daughter she gave up for adoption when she was young. Just from my personal experience and talking to my mother it was the biggest mistake she made. There were times that having our children my husband and I said we couldn't afford it and so on but we got through it all with prayer and GOD!!!! Although we sometimes think we cant handle certain situation we all have heard the saying that GOD never puts more on us than we can handle. If I was in your shoes (which Im unsure of your total situation) I would ask myself, "A year from now when I have myself on my feet and Im a little more stable, will I miss my child and want them back?" I always say there is no one that can take care of my children better than myself. I pray that GOD leads you in the right direction and you make the right decision for you and your new little one. Regardless of what choice you make, may GOD always take care of the both of you. Have a blessed New Year!!!! )

[Birthmom12_10_2008]

I just recently put my son up for adoption. I won't go into the reasons why I did it, but from what I read and what little you've told us, it sounds like you are in the same situation. However, there are many options if you decide to keep the child, and there are lots of resources that will help you.

Only YOU can know what is right to do for you and your baby. Do not let anyone tell you what to do. If you need someone to bounce ideas off of or to hear my exact story please PM me, I will be glad to be your sounding board.

[treehugger19651]

i know how you feel as i am sure many of us do. i put my son up for adoption 25 yrs ago. i adopted a little girl four years ago. it is a hard decision but one that you have to make from your heart and not just your head. i have been on both sides of adoption and would do both again. i miss my son terribly, but i was young and had nothing but love to offer him and love did not put food in his belly or clothes on his back. there are so many agencies now that can help people that havent much money. if you feel like you want to keep your baby, please know that there is help! everyone on this forum is here for the same topic, adoption. in some way we have all been touched by it. if u need to talk, we are all here. you are not alone in this. i know you may feel like you are isolated, but you arent.

[EZ2Luv]

YES The OP DID decide to KEEP her baby.
help

EZ