[csisemore]

When I was 15 I became pregnant. We married (he was 20). It was very hard in the beginning. We are still married 17 years later. We have 3 children 16, 14 and 9. I think things are harder and you have to work harder to get places in life. I have a college degree and worked very hard for it. My children are smart, intellegent, funny and athletic. We have come a long way and it was hard work.

I could have given my first up for adoption, I could have let my parents raise her. But it was my decision to keep her.

[RavenSong]

I am glad that things turned out well for you and your family. You are so fortunate that you were allowed to marry your baby's father. My mom wouldn't sign the consent form for me to marry when I was 16. In fact, she filed statutory rape charges against my boyfriend. Hence, he took off to avoid being arrested. I planned on keeping my baby for about 7 months, and then it just got so darn hard. I had absolutely no emotional support from my family, much less financial support. I was living in a foster home that should never ever have been licensed, and I became really ill from having no heat in the foster home during the winter months. My foster mom used to turn all the burners on the gas stove, and keep it running 24/7. My bedroom was right off the kitchen, and the fumes really got to me. I won't even go into the other crud that was going on. To make a long story short, I was allowed to return to my own home once I made the decision to surrender my child. At least I was warm, well-fed, and healthy at my mom's house.

I see that you're hoping to foster. That is really awesome! Good luck on your journey.

[taramayrn]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[JustPeachy]

I'm glad things worked out for you, despite initial difficulties. I know of two old classmates who were pregnant as teens and got married and are still married to this day, and also went on to have more children. It worked for them, despite being very, very challenging. I think the big plus for both was that they had supportive families. That seems to make a huge difference.

I did not want to marry my baby's father. On the contrary, I broke up with him before I even knew I was pregnant. I also did not wish to raise my child on my own, and my mom was not willing to have me bring my son home anyway. I was not ready to move out and be on my own even by myself, certainly not with a baby. Soooo, despite being a very hard thing to do, I chose adoption. It was my decision to do so, and I think that is so important that it be our decision, no matter what we choose, and not forced by anyone else.

[csisemore]

Just Peachy, I so agree with you. It has to be our decision and it was mine 17 years ago. My parents were of course shocked at first, but were and still are very supportive. I also am VERY lucky and have some of the best in-laws in the country

You are right though, it has to be our decision whether it is ours ( as the one pregnant) or ours ( as in me and my boyfriend). I think that to be able to say I made that decision (adoption, or otherwise) is a very grown up thing to do. I don't know maybe you would regret it less??? And maybe deep down you would know that your child has a better life with other parents, who can provide in ways that you know you can't.