[Boulderbabe]

Just to add another great book to the pile, in case somebody reads this thread later:

Joyce Maguire Pavao's book "Family of Adoption" is an incredibly caring, humane look at all the mixed feelings of adoption. I think it helps to think about adoption from everybody's perspective: birthparents, child and adoptive parents. It is not a "pro adoption" book---it's a book that says that whatever decision gets made, it should be made to serve the needs of the child.

It's a beautiful book--I recommend it to anybody involved in adoption in any way.

[cetalley]

For to able to carry a child in your womb IS truly a gift, that ALL of us in the parental world CAN agree upon. This whole adoption thing is definately NOT a 1 size fits all. You have recieved some amazing advice from a.com triad members, the main reason I continue to come here! There are ALOT OF amazing parents whom adopted, and feel blessed to have been able to do so. I am a Firstmom, and so my journey is like most different, but in the end the same. I relinquished 22 yrs ago...twin sons, yet to find them, but will NEVER give up hope! I like, some have posted, did so being left with a huge VOID, that has never been filled. I do not think it is possible to give birth and , no matter what our circumstance, do so without a void and some regrets. It is impossible to let a child go and not have bonded to a degree of which you can ever"FORGET & GO ON". I have but 1 peace of advice...do as you wish, for you are the only one whom can make this heartwrenching decision. My advice...give birth , hold and love your baby, you owe that child that much. Take the baby home, supplies are most time sent from the hospital and the rest is not so expensive, that one cannot afford, just for a week or 2. If after "BEING THE MOMMY" for 2 weeks you can hand your baby to complete strangers, then and only then will you have your answer! I wish I could have had this advice and been given a CHOICE, alas I had NO choice. A child needs and wants very little, they require LOVE, FOOD some clean clothes and a loving enviroment...everything else IS MATERIAL! If your baby could talk to you when it is born, what do you think it would tell you IT wanted? After being and bonding with you and you only? Some people say to take yourself out of the equation, how can one do so after the bond.....I feel like the only opinion that counts is the one that cannot give it...THE CHILD! They did not get asked, yet they moat times are the one MOST affected. Food for thought, Hind-sight is most definately 20/20, one can NEVER go back, what is in "the rear-view mirror is the past, what is ahead of us is our future", make an informed decision, as i know you will. Keep us posted, this is JMHO! BLESSINGS & SERENITY!