[tuecke]

I am a single mother of a 9 month old and I am also about 20 weeks pregnant. I want to give this baby up for adoption because I feel very strongly about giving a child a 2 parent home. A home where the parents love each other, have a stable income, and can give this baby what it needs. The father of this child wants to keep the baby by himself. He is 25, lives at home with his parents, does not have a job. I recently found out he was using drugs. He treated me very well but was very lazy and when he would drink he would not be very nice. I want so much for this child to go to a family who can give it what it needs. Being a single mom is not easy and I can't give this child what I believe he or she deserves.

Has anyone been in a situation like this? His mom babies him so much and gives him whatever he needs. He still has not grown up. I feel in my heart adoption is what is right but he is stopping me!!!

I live in Mn, does anyone know what kind of rights this father has??

[MommaKatja]

I dont know the laws for your state but if you go to your states website there should be either a link to its laws or a search feature where you could find the laws.

If the baby's father is against adoption it is unlikely an adoption can occur unless there is reason for his parental rights to be terminated against his will. But again I dont know the laws of your state.

[annabellex]

The father of your child does have some legal rights, but they do vary by state. In some states, they would need to serve him with papers on which he would need to indicate (a) he agrees to terminate his rights; or (b) he intends to contest the adoption. (some states have other options). As far as I know in most states, legally once served with papers, the obligation is on him to prove that he intends to parent the child.

Rather than trying to read up on the laws yourself, perhaps you could contact an agency or attorney - they should be able to provide you with the laws that pertain to your state without any cost to you.

[tuecke]

Thanks everyone. I am really struggling with this and I feel in my heart I know what is right but no one else seems to think i have any feelings about this whole situation!!!! I hate everything about this pregnancy and I honestly HATE feeling this way!!!! Any advice for me. I am going to be seeking professional advice also!!! next week!

[quantum]

I guess one thing I can say to you is try to relax! If you're struggling with this then maybe you're not really ready to make decisions and the thing is you don't need to yet. You DO have some time.
A lot of things can change over a short time period.
Don't push yourself!
Professional help sounds like a GREAT idea.

Also, I know you say that your main reason is the two parent home with stability and so on...there are no guarentees.
I'm recently reunited with my birthson and there were so many things I didn't know. His mom didn't stay at home with him at all. I had naively assumed that a couple who had the funds and desire to adopt would have a stay at home mom (ok his dad did a few months and I'm thankful for that). Also, they got divorced! He lucked out and got a great stepmom too!
But, you just don't know!

Take care of yourself. Take a deep breath. I have confidence in you.
((((hugs))))

[IzzyBell]

tuecke,
sorry i don't know much about the father's rights. i do know that he has to prove that he can parent and "get it together" if he is against placing the baby for adoption. I have a friend that went to children's home society to get some help with all the legal mumbo jumbo. they offer counseling with no pressure (to keep the baby or not) and were very nice and helpful. also, it is free which is nice. I hope everything works out ok for you!

[mrsefird]

I have looked up information for you about the birthfathers rights in MN. Please let me know if you need anymore information;
http://www.mnasap.org/information/do...erspective.pdf

I hope this will help you!!!
Kimberly

[tuecke]

Well the decision has been made to keep the baby. Still very scared and Nervous but maybe it's Gods plan for me to have this little one. Who knows maybe she will grow up to be the next woman President!! Now it's time to take this all in and focus on my life with a new baby..AGAIN!

[thanksgivingmom]

Congratulations Mama!!

[happygmom]

A stable home is a home in which a child is loved. Hey - that's you! Congratulations Mom. Lucky baby - lucky you.

Happy G'Ma

[taramayrn]

Congratulations! Best of luck.

[mariarippy]

Are you kidding? Ridiculous, right? Maybe Chancelor of another country if you move...lol I'll be a proud parent if my kids do anything for a charity/for good without me pushing them to do it...We live in a wealthy country. Anything is possible...

[tuecke]

It's just a SAYING.. Maybe my girl will do something big!!....Geez..

[Oceans]

Congrats!! This is great! If she doesn't want to be President, she could always discover the cure for cancer! Either way, I'm sure she will be brilliant!

[tuecke]

Went to my ultrasound today and I was wrong... It's A BOY!!!!!!!!! Guess he won't be the next woman president.. haha. I thought forsure it was a girl.. But either way I'm happy..