[amlee]

this came as quite a shock to me. I am in a serious commited relationship. We have been freinds for years and dating a year and a half. We moved here to NYC 8 months ago and this seems a bit untimely. I can not bring a child into a life that is still not matured and emotionally prepared. I am 23. I still have so much preparation to do until I am ready to raise a child. I had an abortion when I was 18 and I honestly dont think I can do that again. I walked out of an abortion clinic earlier this afternoon. I am 4 weeks and 3 days. I decided to look into Adoption for the next few weeks to decide between the two.

Please give me some advice.

[opalwench]

Hello there, I'm 23 too and gave birth on the first of October, so your post brings back some memories. (We placed our daughter on the third of that month.)

You've got quite a bit of time left in your pregnancy, so I'm really going to encourage you to think about your options. It's not going to be easy no matter what you choose. When I first came here, the other posters encouraged me to read over the forums (this one, the parenting one, the adoptee one) to get a real perspective.

I know it feels like you couldn't possibly consider keeping this child, but believe me, pregnancy and birth can change your perspective dramatically. I wasn't even sure that I ever wanted children before I knew...

I miss my daughter lots. There are no words to describe the way my heart aches sometimes. We had a really short time span to deal with my pregnancy, and we've come to wish that we'd given the possiblity of parenting more of a chance.

Whatever you decide, you have my best wishes and my thoughts are with you. Good luck to you and yours.

[Gary and Jayni]

Hi Amlee,
Opalwench is right, make sure you look at all of your options, read about people, and about adoption. You are early in your pregnancy, and things change alot! It is much more real once you hear the heart beat, see 'belly growth', and feel the movement, and kicks. If an expentant mother is suppose to parent, and the timing isn't perfect, but could be it arranged, we think she should be the mom. If things just aren't right, and she will truly be happier for her baby and herself, then adoption is a great choice. We wouldn't want to adopt thinking we were making someone else's life miserable.......that would break my heart! Take care of yourself, and the baby, I am glad you have at least had a second thought to abortion. It is a quick fix, but I can't tell you enough..... for the long nine months you carry this child, yourself or an adoptive family will get years and years of joy! With todays open adoption, you don't have to lose your children, there can be letters, phone calls, visits, pictures! So many options- Good luck, and God Bless-