[burberry]

I have a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old. I am just getting back to work and my job is such that it was really hard to work at the end of my pregnancy and when the baby was first born. I am just FINALLY getting back on track with my job. I haven't been feeling very well over the last few weeks. Just took a pregnancy test for "kicks" and it was positive right away! I am very upset. My husband and I planned on maybe having another baby one day in the far future (at least 2 to 5 years). His family is always making jokes that I better not get pregnant again and that i'm going to have 10 children. I don't really care what they think because it's our life but am very upset. I'm sure that i'm only very early in the pregnancy. Maybe a few weeks 3 to 5 tops. I think i'll wait a few weeks to tell my husband. He's so stressed out about work. He's going through some major changes right now and is very stressed out. Works long late hours. ANY advice would be very appreciated. I feel like all of our friends and family are going to think i'm a "baby factory" but more importantly, I think my husband is going to have a nervous break down!
Thanks in advance for your help. Very upset..!

[patti Daniels]

Pray and put your worries in God's hands.

[SchmennaLeigh]

I encourage you to be honest and up front with your Husband. If he finds out that you've been keeping this information from him, it's not going to magically make his stress level disappear.

That said, once the initial shock of a sudden pregnancy wears off, you will be better able to make plans for your new child. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, you can do it. *hugs*

[scrapy]

I agree with the replys above. Be honest with your husband. I really can't imagine what you are going through but I can feel through your words that you are very frustrated, and with reason. God has a plan for everyone and this is what he has for you and your family. You are right to not worry about your extended family, take care of yourself, your husband and your precious children. They are your gift so cherish every second with them. Many blessings to you! Shelah

[StacyKelly2]

I cannot imagine what you are going through. Prayer always helps..God will give you the strengh just take one day at a time. Coming on this board will give you support you need at such an emotional time in your life. If you need someone to listen you can pm me...I hope everything will be ok - God Bless

[kdetanner]

Hey girl I know how ya feel! I have a good job and I am going to school full time to be an R.N. I had my son young and when he was 5 months old I found out I was having TWINS! Not to mention while I was finding out this news my son (had to go with me cause daddy had to work) was screaming his head off in his carseat next to me. My doctor was laughing and JUMPING around because he hit his twin mark for the year and was going "oh yeah baby lets see if we can find the third!" (He is a family friend so that wasnt a wierd comment or anything) Just thought I would give you a bit of news to lighten the mood! I will pray for ya!

[#4 in August]

Ohhh! you just described me about this time last year. I had a 5 year old DS and twin 18 month old boys. DH and I had not decided 100% if we wanted a 4th... But my life was feeling like it was finally back on track and I felt organized again.. I was feeling confident w/ the twins, like I was getting my freedom back GWIM?

Well, one day I decided to take a pg test on a hunch and 2 lines lit up right away... I think I cried when I saw the result. Although things were looking up and getting into a good rythem, my oldest and one of the twins are Autistic. And the thought of 1 more child added to the chaos was too much for me at the time.... I also found I was a little upset that this pg was going to take away that bit of harmony I had found in my life recently and I wasn't prepared to give it up.

Anyway... I told DH right away, he was about as impressed as I was LOL... But, the pg was a reality and we had to deal with it and we did. I'm happy DH was with me from the start b/c he was amazing support.

Now we have a beautiful 3 month old little boy, I will however admit that my life is CRAZY right now and keeping up the quality of parenting I demand for my children is exhausting (I'm one of those crunchy moms who breast feeds, co-sleeps, wears baby...)... but it is rewarding to see the results of my work... A really beautiful family.

Anyway... I've kinda BTDT and if you need to talk to someone, let me know

[#4 in August]

Ohhhhh yes... I also had to add that my IL's were the same about joking that we were going to have 10 children and that I was just some kind of "baby factory" well before my 4th child arrived (even though at the time we had 3 children and I was only pg twice). It was really hurtful. Which is why I didn't even bother to tell DH's family I was pg until I was 6 months at the end of last May I was happy we did it that way b/c it reduced some of the stress through the beginning of the pg when I was still really insecure about the whole situation and didn;t need anyone adding to my insecurities. So, I only had to listen to 3 months of "I told you you were going to get pg again, I told you you guys were going to have 10 kids....." Yadda yadda yadda and by then I was confident about having another baby so it was easier to deal with GWIM? Anyway, yes, it's degrading to listen to but when you get right down to it, it's only words and I think some of the heckling stems from jealousy... B/C we had the nerve to have a big family and do the whole "big family" thing as well as we do.

[happygmom]

Burberry,

You have gotten some great advice here. I understand your sensitivity to comments from your family. I have 6 brothers and sisters, and I used to just "die" when people (family and TOTAL strangers!) made comments about the size of our family. My mom was awesome. She would smile serenely standing in the midst of her 7 immaculate children, and say, "You are absolutely correct, I do have too many children. Please help me to decide which ones to give away." It set them back on their heels every time.

Another 2 good lines that my sister used were (her 3 children are spaced in age exactly as your 3) "Yes, I know that we are having our 3 boom, boom, boom, but we wanted another baby NOW so I can focus on my career in a few years and not drag it out." and "We want to be empty nesters when we are young so we can enjoy good times as a couple again." BTW - all 3 of my sister's girls were valdictarian's for their graduating classes. Was quite a joke - "glad you stopped at 3 so another family can have a chance!"

So, use humor and your love for children to face your family. If you are dealing with it, they have no choice but to go along. They will talk behind your back, but who cares? If not a baby, families will always find something else to pick at.

Congratulations and good luck.

Happy G'Ma

[happygmom]

Originally Posted by #4 in August

Now we have a beautiful 3 month old little boy, I will however admit that my life is CRAZY right now and keeping up the quality of parenting I demand for my children is exhausting (I'm one of those crunchy moms who breast feeds, co-sleeps, wears baby...)... but it is rewarding to see the results of my work... A really beautiful family.

Dear #4 in August,

It is SO darned good to hear from you! Crunchy mom? Never heard that one before LOL! What ever works IMO!!

You rock. Enjoy those blessings. My mom's favorite prayer was said staring out of the kitchen window after the zillionth catastrophe of the day - "Jesus, Joseph, and Mary, help me to endure thy blessings." Then she would just sigh and turn around with a smile.

Hugs to you and your really beautiful family, crunchy mom,

Happy G'Ma