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Old 09-27-2006, 11:25 PM
Kora Kora is offline
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Looking into putting my child up for adoption

Well I am almost 4 months pregnant and Im curious about alot of things about how adoption works...i was adopted myself but i dont' know alot about the process or anything.
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Old 09-28-2006, 12:58 AM
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intladoptionblog intladoptionblog is offline
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So, ask...
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Old 09-28-2006, 10:53 AM
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Sweetie Sweetie is offline
Who dat?
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Are there any specific questions you want answered? There are so many different routes you can take if you do decide that placing your child for adoption is what you want. First you need to explore all your options and decide what you want to do. I'm assuming this is what you are doing now. Please feel free to ask any questions. I wish I had someone to talk to when I was pregnant. Best of luck to you.
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Old 09-28-2006, 11:20 AM
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kelceesmom kelceesmom is offline
What's next?????????

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Like Sweetie says, you need to explore all your options. Some of your fears may be about $$ that you can support this baby, if you are young, etc. you might think are opsticals that you can't overcome. That might not be true. There are definate pros and cons to both sides. I am an adoptive mom and I believe firmly first, in a pbmom parenting if at all possible. But, I am grateful to our bmom that she did not abort and chose life because that is how we came to be a family. Good luck in your journey. The path will be difficult no matter what road you choose but choose it with an open heart and mind.

Signed with Facilitator 10/04
Matched with bparents 01/05
Born 05/13/05 and home with us 05/16/05
Finalized 04/26/06

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Old 09-28-2006, 01:42 PM
Gracie86 Gracie86 is offline
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I gave my daughter up for adoption 20 years ago. It was hard, but there are things you can request. Such as the numbers of years you want contact, make sure you can get updates from your adoption worker. But this is a choice you need to be honest with yourself about. Research research research. Don't take just one person's word for it. Look and ask. Best of luck to you!
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Old 09-28-2006, 01:58 PM
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HappyTwinsMom HappyTwinsMom is offline
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If you want to parent, there are many resources available to women in your situation. Definitely do lots of research about your options. It's early days yet, so you have time to really think things through. Know that whatever you decide today may be very different from what you decide tomorrow...or after your baby is born. Seek out some unbiased counseling - not an adoption agency. Talk to your parents - they adopted you, so they may be able to help you process things.

If you do choose adoption for your little one, make sure you get what you want in terms of parents for him/her, amount of contact you want for the future, etc.

Best of luck to whatever you decide!
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Old 09-28-2006, 07:19 PM
kinnanepetersen kinnanepetersen is offline
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I agree with much of what was said before me. There are lots of things to consider... and you will ultimately end up making the best decision for you and your child. If you do end up seriously considering adoption you will find that there are lots and lots of loving couples out there that would be willing to adopt your baby. Although we're on the oposite end of the situation, if I were in your situation and considering adoption I think my first step would be to locate a group of professionals that can assist you. They can help you understand the different types of adoption, and even help you find the perfect family for your baby.

There are certainly a lot of things for you to consider. Take a deep breath, believe in yourself, and take whatever steps you need to do what's right for you!

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Old 09-29-2006, 05:50 AM
SchmennaLeigh SchmennaLeigh is offline

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Kora; there have been many advances in contact since 20 years ago. I encourage you to educate yourself fully about ALL of your options first. Have you been to your local state assistance office? Have you signed up for WIC? There are many things available to you and your child. Make sure you know about all of them before making any other decisions.

When you start researching adoption, which again I encourage you to do after you have researched parenting FULLY, find stories of happy and not-so-happy. The agencies are only going to offer you the stories from the firstmothers who placed through them that are thrilled. Seek out those who are not as thrilled. Know that every adoption is vastly different. Just because I, for example, have a great relationship with my daughter's family doesn't mean that everyone will. There are many things to consider including the amount of contact you want (or think that you want), the emotions of grief and loss that are involved and how they will effect your relationship, how the agency treats BOTH sides of the adult triad and a myriad of other things.

Also, this is a reminder and a note for you, Kora: if anyone Private Messages you asking to parent your child (etc), please forward it on to me. Likewise, we do not allow solicitation of our adoptive parents here on the forums either. This is meant to be a safe place for you to ask your questions, etc.

Ask if you have some questions, okay?
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Old 09-29-2006, 02:35 PM
Roberta Farmer Roberta Farmer is offline
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I, too, was adopted. I thank God my birthmother loved me enough to be selfless.
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Old 09-29-2006, 02:37 PM
Roberta Farmer Roberta Farmer is offline
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Smile Birthmothers are precious

Originally Posted by Kora
Well I am almost 4 months pregnant and Im curious about alot of things about how adoption works...i was adopted myself but i dont' know alot about the process or anything.

I myself was adopted. I thank God my birthmother made the most loving decision she could make.
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Old 10-03-2006, 05:34 PM
happygmom happygmom is offline
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Dear Kora,

I agree with all of the posters who advised you to weigh all of your options carefully before you decide.

My daughter also made a selfless, loving decision - she decided against adoption and decided to parent her son. All depends on your readiness to take on the life-long responsibility of parenting.

Happy G'Ma
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