[kelceesmom]

It sounds like you have come to some conclusions. Good for you. We adopted but I firmly believe if you are able to parent it is the best thing for all involved. But if not definately adopt out. There are so many wonderful families who would give a baby a loving home. It also sounds like your man might want his cake and to eat it too. If he is doing this to his family now why wouldn't he do it to you? You are a better person than this and deserve someone who can commit to you 100%. Good luck and some prayers can't hurt either!

[kakuehl]

Originally Posted by Scared22

Everyone is right. I absolutely want to keep the child and have no intentions of putting him/her up for adoption. He still seems to think the abortion is the way to go but I already had a miscarriage earlier this year and was heartbroken. I can't give up this child. About the married man, I really don't expect anything from him. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me or do anything. If he wants nothing to do with the child I am prepared to tackle that feat and raise the child on my own. I know that my family and friends would be there to support me. But honestly I might sound like I have everything figured out when I am really shaking inside. Scared of raising a child, not knowing what to do, scared that my family will reject me, my child, or both of us for my relationship with the child's father. There's so many things that I just don't know how I will handle and because I am somewhat embarrased and afraid to talk to people about the relationship and pregnancy I have been keeping everything to myself which seems to be horrible because it is eating me up inside.

Breaking the news can be such a scary thing! (I waited until I was almost 7 months pregnant before I told my parents - after my Mom asked!) Like you I was embarrassed about the whole situation. (All the more because "I knew better!") Try to remember that you only have to live one day at a time! (If a day is too much -- try 10 minutes!)

This is a good place to express the thoughts and emotions that are "eating you up inside." You are bound to find many people who understand what you are experiencing, because they've been there. (Always remember though that our advice may only be worth what you pay for it! Listen to your own heart and mind to discover what is best for you.)

33 years after being in shoes very similar to yours I have a different challege. I am in reunion with my bson and now get to explain him to people who didn't know of his existance! (I didn't find it necessary to announce to the parish when I accepted a call to be their pastor that, "Oh, by the way, I placed a child for adoption when I was 21.") Luckily, I've always emphasized that their pastor is not perfect. (Don't put me on a pedestal -- it's too far to fall!)

Take a few deep breaths. Relax a little and trust yourself.

Blessings, Kathy

[vera19]

Just follow your heart and your gut feeling.. dont let him make you feel like you have to do anything.

We are all here for you.

*BUG HUGS*

[stormee]

He's not going to be the first married man in this predicament. He does have to pay child support to you, no matter if he has children with his wife. It's not the best situation obviously for a child, but with your love and proper parenting, it can be overcome. And you never know what the future holds. Perhaps he or she will have a great relationship with the father or perhaps you will get married and the baby will have a great relationship with the stepfather.