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Originally Posted By adoptee's question?

My bmom has told some of her family, but not all of them. Is she still ashamed of me? She fears what others in her family will think of her -- shouldn't she care what I think of her? I hope one day I can meet some of the older generations of my birth family before its too late.

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Originally Posted By Sarah

I am so sorry to hear that she won't tell them. I know in my situation my family members were hostile. They wrote her off, she is no longer a part of the family. I don't think she is ashamed of you. I just think she is afraid. I know the love a birthmom feels for her daughter or son. Have you two maybe thought of counseling?

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Originally Posted By Stacy

I feel so sad that it even has to be a thought that your birthmother is ashamed of you. I think that a lot of times as children ro adults we place blame on ourselves for something that our parents have done. I am a birthmother whose whole family does not know yet and it is not at all because I am ashamed of my son-he is the best thing that ever happened to me and carrying him to term was the best thing that I ever did. I recently told my mother and she said that she would not tell my father and I asked her if she wanted me to and she said not yet. It is because she feels that he will be so hurt at not being able to know his grandchild and see him grow up other than through pictures. She may feel afraid of what others in her family might think not because she is ashamed of what she did but of how others may react. It seems that a lot of people are very uneducated about adoption...Just a thought... my thoughts and prayers are with you!