[ashlee20]

I just found out 2 days ago that I'm pregnant...now what? I don't know what to do. I do know that there is no way that I can keep this baby...i'm in college and can barely take care of myself, let alone a child...and my parents can never find out about this, they would be so disappointed in me, and the guy...we've been together maybe 4 months...i don't even know how i'm going to tell him...i'm sorry..i'm rambling but i don't know what to do, i have no one to talk to, i'm in this alone for now. I know that adoption/keeping the baby is not an option i have, but I don't have an extra $500 laying around anywhere...*sigh* I just need someone to talk to...i'm so confused and scared and alone....

[kune]

ashlee
I can imagine how lonely you feel at the moment. You have this life growing inside of you - you don't think you can parent - you don't know how to tell those who love you - and you have to make some big decisions fairly quickly.

I too was in that position 35 years ago - and I made my decision on my own. I wouldn't recommend that; not in today's world anyway. I really think you need to talk to your Mom. Sure she will be disappointed. but not necessarily in you - more for you. Talk over your options and allow her to support you in your decision-making. It's too big a burden to handle on your own.

Your mother is the one who cares for you and loves you - despite all the mistakes and errors - it's called unconditional love. And....she would want to be there for you for the good and the bad times.

Take deep breath's and know you are not the first (or the last) person who has found themselves in this position - and we all eventually come through it, a little more cynical perhaps, but definitely beter people.

My heart goes out to you. Contact me if you need to. I am a birthmother and also have a daughter a little older than you, so maybe I can be of help.

Ann

[ashlee20]

thank you for the advice, it's nice to have someone to talk to through all of this...i'll keep you updated

[happygmom]

Dear Ashlee,

I think you should go to your college's student services and get an appointment with a counselor who can help you sort out your feelings. If you decide to tell your parents, your counselor can provide you with some advice and support.

An unplanned pregnancy is a shock, but it helps to talk to someone.

Keep in touch.

Happy G'Ma

[Montraviatommyg]

Basically I agree with the others and it is important that you get unbiased help/support. I appreciate it is difficult telling your mother but you don't know if she will be supportive unless you tell her. When I had my son I didn't get any help or support so was pressured into having him adopted. I will always regret not being told where I could unbiased support as I didn't want to go along the adoption road. With the way you're feeling at the moment which is understandable you need support before making any decision that you may later regret.

Pip

[SchmennaLeigh]

Echoing a lot of what has been said and adding:

You're in college. That tuition that you're paying offers you the services of the counselor/therapist on staff. USE IT. Seriously. That's what they are there for; to offer unbiased support to their students in need. Right now, hon, you're in need of someone to listen to your feelings, even if you feel at this point that they are "rambling." (We all ramble. ) The counselor/therapist will be able to present you with ALL of your options and offer support as you decide whether or not to tell those close to you and when... etc.

Hang in there. And use the services made availabe to you!

[ashlee20]

my mother and I don't get along...my teenage years were spent with her lying to my father about ridiculous stuff just to get me in trouble...she's always only caused more problems for me...

[kune]

ashlee20
Your relationship with your mother is unfortunate - so your College Counsellor is your best option at this point. Remember that the choices are yours to make and you do need support from someone who is caring, informed and available.

Ann

[annelisa]

If you have a bad relationship with your mother, then I can understand you not wanting to talk to her about this. Do you have an aunt or sibling or close friend that you can trust and talk to? And, as others said, there ARE people out there who can help you.........people who are trained in this kind of situation and who would be GLAD to give you the help and support that you so desperately need. Don't make a hasty decision.........don't try to do this alone. This is probably the biggest decision you will ever make in your life and you need to think about everything......every option.
I pray that God will lead you to someone that you feel comfortable with and who will help you feel less alone.
Bless you...........

[angelaa]

well.. if you are in canada, and have a family doctor.. you can go talk to him/her and if they support pro-choice, they can write you a referral to another doctor at a hospital that does abortions.. and it would be covered by medicare. just to let you know that you've got some options.. or ask a friend who might be willing to lend you the money if you can't get it from anywhere else. good luck.. i feel for you.

sorry, i looked at your profile and see you aren't canadian.. i decided to leave my message though incase someone else comes across it who finds it useful.

some places in the states carry an abortion pill though, which would be substantially cheaper than going through with the surgery. you should call your health center for some more information about all of your options to help you make the right choice for you.

[Killmark]

How do you know you can't look after a child? As a species we're designed to thrives and proprogate.

[ashlee20]

I'm sure I could, but I honestly don't want that kind of responsibility right now...I can barely take care of myself..let alone a baby

Originally Posted by Killmark

How do you know you can't look after a child? As a species we're designed to thrives and proprogate.

[paigeturner]

Ashlee,

Explore all of your choices, but take your time. I agree with several of the other posters that you should talk to a counselor at your school. Planned Parenthood is also a terrific resource.

Good luck to you.

[JoEvans]

Ashlee,

I understand what you are going through. Well.. I had a different circumstance, but, sometimes we are faced with "surprizes", pregnancy, one of many. Weigh your options and do some "soul searching". Best of luck.
I dont mean to ramble on, but like for instance, my ex- husband left me when he found out I was pregnant with our child. I was not ready for another child. And after some "soul searching", and trying to care for a premature as well as a toddler, after a few months, I found out that adoption was the best option. And my ex-inlaws adopted, yet another surprize.
My oldest is currently going to college, so I know how hard that would be and I understand your circumstance there.
I had a tubal litigation 17 years ago. Sometimes, I wish I could have just one more. I am soooooooo baby hungry. I guess I have to wait for the grandbabies. LOL
JO

"Life is what you make of it".
"You can't change the past, just make the future brighter".

[cute]

ASHLEE: As a birth mother I echo what everyone else has said.Take time to really decide on what to do.
I relinguished in 1963,no support systems in place,no help and I could not turn to my mother.I was told all my life make your bed,lie in it. But do know that if I had to do all over again I would not relinguish.It is a life altering decision/so do so with some support.
Paigeturner mentioned planned parenthood....
I would say speak with someone before any decision is made.If you are close to your dad speak with him.
I wish you only the best and please keep in touch.