[#4 in August]

Ashlee,

Sorry you have to go through this.. And it must be really hard to read all these conflicting, confusing posts when all you really need is support in the middle of such Chaos.

Abortion is a legitimate, legal choice. I've met many girls/women who chose abortion and do not regret it in the least. I can even put you in contact w/ one girl in particular if you want.. She's a wealth of information, has a level head, is currently married and the proud mother to two little boys...

I'm aware some ppl out there DO regret terminating a pg... But I really do feel these are ppl who have an abortion despite certain religious views or personal feelings telling them not to in the 1st place.. Yet they have an abortion in haste.... But most times, once someones gets an abortion, confident they made the right choice and it wasn't something they did in haste or it wasn't something they were talked into or had to talk themselves into... Most of these women feel they made the right choice in the future.

But like was said.. It's important to get a proper medical abortion which will be completed and followed up by a Dr. who knows what he/she is doing. If you don't do this properly there is a great chance of infection which could cause infertility in the future.

I hope you find the couceling and support you need to help you w/ whatever choice you make.

[FauxClaud]

"I cannot believe that everyone is supporting an abortion and regarding life as something that can just be ended with a quick little visit to the doctor or a pill. No matter what, I realize that none of the options available for Ashlee are ideal for her. However, how can it be easier to move on with life after killing your baby instead of giving it life (whether keeping the child or giving it up for adoption)? Ashlee is now responsible for making the best decision for the baby, not her."
Even women that feel that they were coerced into giving their child up for adoption...how can you think that abortion would have been a better option??

I don't just think that abortion was so much easier, I know it was for me. As I have said before, having 2 abortions..one before and one after placing my son..they are mere blips on my radar screen of life...while the loss of my son is a major cause and effect that not only for me, but those around me.

Granted, as said, some women do regret an abortion and suffer pain from it. I personally thought that while it was sad, it was also very necessary. And with the exception of this kind of conversation, they are not something that effect my life in anyway. Over, done..much much easier to move on.
I don't have any wish that I had aborted my lost child, but I sure as heck wish with every bone in my body that I had not placed him. Everyday. And will for the rest of my life.

Based on my expereince, and the expereinces of oter mothers that have placed, I would always advise someone who knows that they cannot parent a child that abortion, if they have no major religious or moral concerns, is infinatly easier and would reccomend it in a heartbeat over adoption. I would prefer that one could just parent in all cases, but the world is not perfect. Neiher is birth control. And neither is adoption.

And I could never recomend that anyone live this life of pain. Not my best friend, not some stranger on a baord, not my own worst enemy.

[etfmom]

So much has been said since my last post. Ashlee, my prayers continue to be with you. As you can see by our posts, our different experiences have led us to different conclusions. What most of the women on this thread share is loss (me included) and all agree that counseling is invaluable, even if you've made up your mind.

It wasn't my intention to suggest that your decision be based on fulfilling the desire of childless couples. I recognize that in your decisionmaking, the needs of strangers would obviously be the last thing on your mind. Ironically, adoption does result in joy and life for others. So does parenting. Julie stated the dilemma beautifully: life is different after children, adoption or abortion.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to confirm your decision by exploring the psychological impacts of each choice thoroughly and continue with counselling after you've taken action.

My very best to you and to all the women in the thread.

Beth

[taramayrn]

Originally Posted by Jacob's Mama

I cannot believe that everyone is supporting an abortion and regarding life as something that can just be ended with a quick little visit to the doctor or a pill. No matter what, I realize that none of the options available for Ashlee are ideal for her. However, how can it be easier to move on with life after killing your baby instead of giving it life (whether keeping the child or giving it up for adoption)? Ashlee is now responsible for making the best decision for the baby, not her.


Even women that feel that they were coerced into giving their child up for adoption...how can you think that abortion would have been a better option??

Why?? Because she has already said that she does not want to do adoption. Enough said...

[taramayrn]

Originally Posted by BoxerLady6

My question is...wouldn't coercing and guilting this woman to parent be the same as pushing adoption? Maybe she simply does not want to parent. I did not and was made to feel like crap!!! If she chooses not to parent that is her choice. And she has stated that she does not want to do so. Why make it sound like its a horrible decsion?

AMEN Boxer!!!!

[LoveJosiah]

Jacob's Mama - I agree with you completely and applaud you for speaking the truth on this blood-thirsty board.

[taramayrn]

I just want to echo what Claud said about her abortions. I have had an abortion - about a year before my son was born. It too was a "blip on my radar". I am so glad I didn't place that baby. It broke my spirit when I placed my son for adoption. While I understand that some women who have abortions regret them, I didn't.

[paigeturner]

LoveJosiah,

Wow. The hateful tone of your post is stunning. Newsflash: not everyone believes in your God. No one has pushed abortion on the OP. If your vision wasn't so clouded with self-righteous anger you would have read most of the posts urging counseling. Again, Wow. “Judge not lest ye be judged.” Blah, blah, blah.

BTW, a medical abortion does not use "sucking" it is simply an intermuscular injection or a pill followed several days later with a vaginal cream. Both types of perscriptions are available for a number of uses. But I guess that doesn't fit into your hysterical rhetoric.

[taramayrn]

Thank you for your post Paige. I encourage all of those who believe that abortion is where the "baby [is] butchered and sucked out of the womb" to educated themselves (and not from resources from pregnancy care centers) on what abortion is and how it is performed. As Paige said there are many times of abortions.
Education is power and there is nothing worse than debating with someone who has the wrong information about what they are debating about.

[LoveJosiah]

Paige, apparently you have never read the Bible, because in many places we are told to judge. "Ye shall know them by their fruits". God also says that people will become so hardened to sin that they will be turned over to a reprobate mind, not even able to discern what is truth and what is a lie. And that is what has happened to many on these very boards. It is sad.

Hate? No, just a true love for all of God's unborn children and a fierce righteous anger for the murder of children in the womb. I suppose you think it is a blob of flesh. I have read the posts all the way through - Family Planning was mentioned numerous times. "Family Planning" = Abortion mills. Wake up.

[taramayrn]

So now we are all "hardened by sin" - hmm interesting. Did you hear that guys?! We're all sinners - pegged by the sinfree, I'm sure, LoveJosaiah.

So am I a sinner because I had an abortion or because I had a child out of wedlock?!

[LoveJosiah]

Of course there are many ways to kill a child, just like there are many ways to kill anyone. ...the end result is still DEATH. That is the point. No matter how you try to "pretty it up", abortion is murder, the death of a child.

We are all sinners, me included for sure. But I know how to repent and be saved!!

As the Bible says, "Don't cast your pearls before swine...so I'm kicking the dust from my sandals and walking".

You can't have a battle of wits with unarmed people.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Actually -- I think you are WAY off base with accusing of not reading the Bible. Way off.

Many religions here in the US use the bible as a base... and they interpret differently. PLUS the bible was written by men!

You certainly are welcome to live in whatever boundaries that make you comfortable... you are NOT welcome to tell me, her or anyone else that your boundaries are the right boundaries.

Life or Not it is an appendage to HER body... it will change HER body and HER life and the decision she makes should be ABOUT HER.

Luckily for you, though.. you do not need to make this choice so it will not effect the boundaries that you have set for yourself. That must be a HUGE relief.

[paigeturner]

Tara,

Her bible would have us stoned to death.

I have read the bible and while some of the messages are uplifting, I don't believe it to be the word of God (she's more kind than the bible portrays in my mind.) Having said that, I live a moral and upstanding life. I don't need a bunch of white men telling me how to live my life.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

We are all sinners, me included for sure. But I know how to repent and be saved!!

WHEW!! You must be so releived!!!