[tobeafamily]

Ashlee,

Your situation reminded me of that of another poster from last fall. You might want to read that thread:

Just found out I'm pregnant. Need Advice Please!

Understand I'm not advocating for you to make any of the choices available for you. I wish only that you have the support to make whatever decision is best for you. Because that's all that counts - not that my point of view is as yours or that I or anyone else here agrees with your choice.

HTH

Regina

[mom2sweetpea2]

Im sitting here and I am reading these posts and all I can think is wow. How can we vary so much in our veiws in life? It occured to me to have an abortion with my second child, but my OB-GYN doesnt preform them and I wasnt about to go to just anyone and I wasnt serious, I was just tired of being sick. I dont understand why she isnt seeking out some way to get money if wants toend it so bad? Will you parents help you terminate the it? I cant call human or a baby, that would mean its human and to kill someone would wrong in my eyes. I am trying to not judge, I am not walking her shoes. Its hard for me because I have been thru hell on earth in the last few monthes, trying to figure everything out. I just know that human life is precious and no baby is ever a mistake. Ashlee, may you find peace in whatever you choose but you need foolow care to make sure the miscarriage was complete and can I pm you please?

[ashlee20]

My parents and I are not close really, but I just have this thing called respect for them, they do not know about what is going on...if they ever found out, i would be wiped out of their lives completely. I have this major fear of disappointing them and for some reason that seems to be all that i do, so to think of something of this magnitude and to tell them...omg...no way..I live in a little town too...ok...and i mean little...like less than 1000 people, a dead end little town...with nothing...dead end doctors...no opportunity...so for me to get the resources...that means i have to drive my happy butt about 50 minutes away to the big ol' city where things are expensive and i don't have the money to get it done...the planned parenthood in the city doesn't do abortions in my area...so i'm stuck...

[ashlee20]

well sorry for coming to the wrong place...i was scared i didn't know what to do...i typed in unplanned pregancy and this popped up, i read some other posts from girls that were in the same boat and so i figured maybe i could get some advice, so i typed my first post and here i am

[sneezyone]

I think sometimes people are so blinded by their own desire to have a child that they fail to separate the choices they would make if they were in your shoes from the choices you prefer for yourself. When all is said and done, only you know what's best for you. Like Regina said, go with your gut. Mine hasn't failed me yet.

[heartened]

Ashlee,

It is FINE that you are here, and you are more than welcome to stay as long as you choose to. NO ONE but the site administrator and the moderators has the right to dictate who can post here and who cannot. I know for a fact that the Admin/moderators aren't about to ask you to stop posting here.

It sounds as if a miscarriage is the best outcome for you right now. However, don't forego emergency medical care as things progress. By law an emergency room is required to provide "stablizing treatment" regardless of ability to pay. There are certain procedures/examinations which must be performed after a miscarriage in order to ensure your continued good health. Don't let fear of a medical bill keep you from obtaining medical care. A miscarriage IS a medical emergency.

If you receive any private messages or emails which make you feel uncomfortable, please be sure and notify Brandy the site admin, any of the moderators or any of the forum hosts - we have the "FH-" at the beginning of our screen names. Brandy or the moderators can take immediate action on your behalf.
I think Regina (tobeafamily) has given you some excellent advice. She's a very smart lady.

[mom2sweetpea2]

Like I said I have had been close to in her spot, I had my dream job and I lost it. I cant go back and change that now, it isnt worth the agony of beating myself over the head with. I am hear if you want to chat Ashlee, I sent you an email with how you can get ahold of me. Know that I wish you the best. They are right about the miscarriage, make sure it is complete because it can affect your ability to have children later in life. May you find peace, soon.

[Montraviatommyg]

Originally Posted by ashlee20

well sorry for coming to the wrong place...i was scared i didn't know what to do...i typed in unplanned pregancy and this popped up, i read some other posts from girls that were in the same boat and so i figured maybe i could get some advice, so i typed my first post and here i am

Loads of hugs, you needed/need support so hang on in there with support coming from members.

Pip

[AwaitingBeloved]

Ashlee,
I do think you're in the right place.

I was confused because a previous post said that your parents had told you the night before that they would disown you, etc. I thought that meant you had told them. Sorry for the confusion.

Have you talked to your Dr to ask for referrals for a place that might be able to help you. I may be naive, but I wonder if there are places where they have payment plans or where you can make some kind of payment arrangements with them. Then once you start your job in June, you could start sending them payments.

The only reason I was asking you so many questions is because it doesn't seem like it's just money holding you back. Am I wrong? Is this really what YOU want? Put aside your parents for a minute. And putting aside the small town you live in. If you were in a perfect world, is this still what you would want? That's what I'm trying to get at.

I'm sensing (could be off, wouldn't be the first time :-) ) that you want to parent this child. If that's what you want, then there ARE resources out there. And, your parents could come around. My younger brother had his daughter at 19, his gf was 17, and he had a strained relationship with my parents (at best) and my parents are wonderful grandparents to his little girl. We all grew up knowing that having a baby before marriage would be just the worst thing ever in our family... but, when both my brothers ended up expecting prior to being married, my parents had no choice but to get on board. Sure, at first, they weren't sure how to handle it. We are from a small town, too. My parents still live there. But, they got through the initial shock and fear stage and before we knew it they were telling the whole town about their beautiful grandbabies, and their parents. They were (and are) so proud of their family.

I hope that you're doing okay. If you end up having a miscarriage, I hope you are okay with that, too.

Hang in there.

[crick]

Just a reminder to everyone...

Offering help to find a family for an unborn child is not allowed. That is in a sense, "matching" or "solicitation" and neither are allowed on this site.

Thank You,
Crick

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Ashlee,

These are the family forums. Subtitled adoption, but family forums no less... and this forum is here for situations like yours. There is NO NEED to apologize for being here.

Also if you are overloaded with PM's you can turn them off in your control panel. Just an option.

Have you called the clinics that handle abortions and asked them 1. if they could work with you or 2. what their advice to you would be... they may know how to help you.

I am so sorry you are still going through this. If you continue to bleed please take everyone's advice and seek further medical treatment.

[ashlee20]

no, i have no desire to parent now or ever...i have a 6 yr old sister and that's pretty much made my mind up about kids...yes money is the only thing holding me back...i have absolutely nothing right now...i haven't been able to work in a week, i've only got $30 in my pocket and the only reason i have that is because last night i went and tried to sell some of my clothes to a thrift shop. I've got a $175 rent payment due today and i've been doing whatever i can besides standing on a street corner to get some fast cash...

[AwaitingBeloved]

Thanks for answering my questions, Ashlee. Yeah, definitely NOT advocating standing on street corners. :-)

Do you have any relatives you are close to, that you can trust, who might be able to help you out financially temporarily, while respecting your privacy? Or any friends? How about the cousin you are hoping to work with in June, does she know about your situation? Do you think she would/could give you a loan?

[AwaitingBeloved]

Ashlee, another question, what state are you in? I just did a google search for financial aid for abortion, and some states do offer assistance.

[ashlee20]

Originally Posted by AwaitingBeloved

Thanks for answering my questions, Ashlee. Yeah, definitely NOT advocating standing on street corners. :-)

Do you have any relatives you are close to, that you can trust, who might be able to help you out financially temporarily, while respecting your privacy? Or any friends? How about the cousin you are hoping to work with in June, does she know about your situation? Do you think she would/could give you a loan?

actually my cousin has offered to help...she's actually trying to get me moved down there as soon as possible that way i can buy some time so people don't start saying anything here and her and her fiance have offered to help, i just haven't really thought about it that much though b/c i have so much that i have to get out of here first...my lease...my memberships...all stuff that i have to pay to get out of first...oh and i'm in tennessee by the way