[pinkrose30]

Hi! I am new to this site and am looking to find support around my pregnancy. I am 9 weeks along. I have one child already. My ex and I broke up after an 11 year relationship. The night that we broke up I stayed in a hotel room and had a few friends over because I did not want to be alone. One of the friends that I work with had a little to much to drink and so did I. To make a long story short we slept together and now I am pregnant. MY ex and I were trying to work things out and see if we could rebuild our relationship. When i found out i was pregnant I told him. Well he flipped out. I can't really blame him. He told me he could handle anything except me being pregnant from another man. Since then he has nothing to do with me. I have lost my best friend. All of my family is pretty much deceased or out of my life. I still interact with my ex's family. I have done a lot of soul searching and have come to realization that everything in my life that I have built up over the last 11 years is gone. I feel as if my whole world is crumbling. I find myself thinking about this child and the impact of what I have done. I cannot remove the guilt that I feel and am confused. I will not have an abortion or put this baby up for adoption. I just don't want to wind up resenting this baby. I find myself crying all the time (hormonal) and then getting so angry. I cannot stand to be around people much less carry on a conversation. I am an outgoing person and this is not normal for me. My thoughts have been to just end my life. I know basically get and abortion if I choose to end my life because ending my life would ultimately end my child's life. I find myself so agrieved with this pregnancy. My first child I was happy during the pregnancy. I cannot get happy about this pregnancy. I had an ultrasound done the other day and looking at the photo they gave me I still cannot feel anything. That is what concerns me. I know this is coming across sounding very selfish but I just don't know how else to express myself or my feelings. I desperately need someone to talk to and that is the reason I am posting on this site. Thanks for taking the time to listen.

[bromanchik]

You need to get into therapy right away. If only because of your thoughts on suicide. You are dealing with so much loss and ambivilence that it is important you speak to someone ASAP. Look in the phone book under suicide prevention. There are sure to be hotlines in your area with someone you can talk to as well as someone they can refer you to for therapy.

If you cannot find the help you need, please e-mail me with the area you live in and I will try to help.

Your life is precious and it sounds to me that you believe the life of your child is too. Hold on to that.

[flowerchildA]

Pinkrose,
I'm sorry you are so depressed right now. It sounds like you are in a stressful situation but there are people who can help you right now. Like the bromanchik said, you can call the suicide prevention line at any time just to talk to someone. Also you can go to your doctor or a clinic to get medicine for depression that will be safe for the baby and help you feel better. You sound like a smart person and that you want to do what's best for your baby. Your baby needs YOU right now, alive and well! Please get help!
I hope you feel better soon.
Amber

[BrandyHagz]

If you’re in trouble, and you need help, please call one of the numbers below to talk to a trained professional who can help you through your time of need.

Helpful Crisis Hotline Phone numbers:

• Suicide Hotlines - 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-Suicide)
• Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-827-7571
• BoysTown National Hotline – 1-800-448-3000
• Covenant House Nineline – 1-800-999-9999
• National Runaway Switchboard – 1-800-621-400
• National Child Abuse Hotline – 1-800-792-5200

[kwliving4him]

I can relate to your situation. I am 22 and 15 weeks pregnant. I would love to talk more in depth with you. Please email me at kwliving4him@hotmail.com Know one thing. Even though it seems uncertain and things look out of control, God is in control. Even when we make mistakes and have consequences because of them, God takes those and changes our failures into victories. No child is a mistake, unplanned by us maybe, but never by God. He has a plan for all of this to work out. Trust in Him.
Please email me.
Love Kristi

[flowergoddess]

We haven't heard from you in a while. I (and i'm sure everyone else on here) would like to know you're ok. Please let us know how you're feeling.

Hugs to you,