[Angel_Z.J.K]

Hi my name is Shonelle I am 20 years old and 5 months pregnant. My ex-boyfriend wants me to give the baby up for adoption and I want to keep him. We had a son together November 5, 2003 and gave him up for adoption. I think at that time we weren't ready and I think now we could do it. He still hasn't told his mother and when he does she will definately want me to give the baby up for adoption. I really care what James (ex) thinks and what his mom thinks. I told James I was probably going to keep the baby and he said "well I guess life goes on". He said he'll be there for his son as much as he can but doesn't know where him and I are going in the future. We get along really well and I care about him a lot and think about what he wants all the time. What should I do?

[shylagirl]

Shonelle,
The only thing you can do is follow your heart and do what YOU think is best for your baby. I'm an amom so I can't say i've been in your shoes but you will be in my thoughts and prayers

Hugs,
Crystal

[gabbit]

Shonelle,
I think you should think long and hard before you do anything. Just think how you felt about the other baby. If it wasnt that hard for you then do what your heart tells you but dont do it for anyone but you because you will be the one who has to go through it.

[Pixeydust]

You should always do what you believe is right if you want to keep your baby then you should its good that your friends with the babys father but it that doesn't mean that you have to believe the way he does. It sounds like your brokeup because you say hes your ex so just make sure you are keeping the baby for the right reason once you have the baby you will be conected to him for life just like with your first child and if he will support the baby you will see him often but that doesn't mean he will be in relationship with you. It sounds like maybe you two need to talk and see if theres a chance you may get back together and raise the baby as a family or if he just isn't ready to be a father and is leaving the decision up to you on where to go from here. His mom shouldn't be a strong factor in the adoption decision she should support whatever choice you make the choice can only be made by you and your ex. And maybe you could find someone who you could both talk to about what your going through if hes willing and decide if raising a child is something your ready to do. I hope you find peace in what ever you decide and I will be thinking about you. And everyday know that you and your baby are thought of and prayed for.Good luck Pix

[stacykelly]

Shonelle if you feel you want to keep this baby then follow your heart.Just know that the responsibility will be on you.Nobody should persaude you into giving your child up that is something only you should decide on.For your boyfriend at least he is being honost with you.He cannot say what the future will hold for the both of you guys being together.You really need to think long and hard about what you want.You will know in your heart the right choice,and I hope you find peace in whatever you decide.God Bless

[kcmomma75]

If you want to keep your baby..than keep him/her! Hope for the best but expect the worst! You can not count on him helping you..if he does GREAT!!! if he doesn't..you will figure out a way to do it your self. I don't understand what makes a difference...if you keep the baby he will be there for the baby but not you..if you surender the baby (then he won;t have to be there for him/her) then he will be there for you??? That is odd. Stand up tall with your head high! Boyfriends and husbands leave (not always) but they do....

Good luck! and Best Whishes!

[Angel_Z.J.K]

Thanks everyone for the advice! I have decided to keep the baby and need help on how to tell the father. Any advice on how to tell him? Thanks.

[Pixeydust]

Be straight and tell him how you feel. Thats all you can do. He will either understand or not you can not be sure till you give him the chance sooner is better than later.

[Missingone]

Keep your baby. It wouldn't be right for you to give it up if you want it.

[issiahbmom]

i believe you get pregnant for a reason and if you feel you want to parent this child then tahts the reason you got pregnant. i was forced (well i felt i was) to place my child for adoption when i was 15 and am happy with the decision now. you shouldnt have to go through that 2 times. keep your baby and do the best you can!!! good luck