[HopefulMommyNC]

My brother and his girlfriend are 16 and having a baby. We just found out and they want my husband and I to adopt him/her. I cannot have children and we are much older and have a stable home. We have a daughter, from my husband's previous marriage.
What steps will we need to take, how will this work? I know our mother (my bro's and mine) will be happy since niether my brother or his girlfriend will have an abortion, that is not an option for them. What if her mom doesn't want her to give it up or she and her husband want to raise it. Does my brother have a say? He doesn't want them to raise his son/daughter. Will we have to go throught the normal adoption process or do they simply sign their rights over to us?
They haven't told thier parents yet so it is a little confusing! We want this baby so badly and Lauren (the girlfriend) has gone through some consuling and she very much wants my husband and I to have it, she doesn't want to raise and but wants the baby to be loved and wanted and to be brought up in the parenting style that we use with my daughter!
Thank you for any advice as this could be a sticky legal situation.

[mommyatheart]

I'm not sure exactly what the requirements will be in your state, but we are currently in a very similar situation with our 16 year old niece. In our case, we have been told that it is the choice of the birthparents whether they place the baby for adoption, it is not the choice of the biological grandparents. I would suggest speaking with an attorney who specializes in family adoptions to give you more information on the laws of your state... it is also equally as important to all of you who are involved in this situation to meet with counselors who specialize in adoption, as there are many difficult situations to face with this. From what I've been told, the success rate for situations like this are much higher when, at the very least, the birthmother receives adequate counseling.
Sometimes the procedures and requirements of the courts are different in the case of family adoptions, so inquire of an attorney regarding that as well.
I feel so happy for you as this sounds like a situation which may end up helping many people. My husband and I also cannot have children of our own, and when our niece asked us to be the parents of her unborn child, we were overcome with such peace and happiness... we were so honored to have been chosen by someone we love to be the parents of this child. And we have felt so blessed every day since for being able to go through her experience with her. We too are at the beginning with her... she is 17 weeks along in her pregnancy, she moved in with us a week and a half ago, and things are going well so far. I feel that one of the biggest blessings has been that the birthfather also wants to relinquish this child to us, which helps on the stresses related to that part of it all... it sounds like you have that same great blessing in both of them being on the same page about what they want to do for the child. Good luck and my prayers will be with you and yours.

[LindaBrown]

Your brother and his girlfriend hold all the rights. But if his girlfriend wants her mom and dad to raise her child thats her right too. Your brother has say as long as he is supporting her financially and so forth. But courts usually listen to the birthmom and her wishes if the birthfather is not supporting her financially and emotionally. This girlfriend can decide to keep the baby if your brother wont let her parents raise the child and theres nothing he can do there.