[lilmama_1588200]

i am 16 and wondering if i should marry the fater of my baby or not , i just recently found i was pregnant and i know that he will be there but am i ready to be married now? he will be 18 in sept and i dont want him to run over me after i have the baby. i love him a lot and i want my baby to have both parents but i am so young .

[wendy34]

That would be a decision that you, him and probably your parents need to make. I would recommend you finishing high school, first. If you ever want to find a good job you will need to graduate from high school. I know it would be tough, but if the father of baby really cares about you he will encourage you to continuing going to school. I never was in a situation like you are, but I think you should just wait awhile on getting married. Is he pressuring you to marry him? Best of luck in your decision.

[sandjfulkrod]

Please take it from someone who has been right where you are...TAKE YOUR TIME IN MAKING YOUR DECISIONS!!!!!

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son, kept him, and married his father. Ended up divorced after 10 years of verbal and physical abuse, with a very angry teen on our hands. He holds us accountable for making the decisions we made when we were so young.

Please make your decisions based on what would be BEST for your baby! This will change everything for the rest of your life. Seek counceling and support from family and friends. Double check yourself when you think you have made a decision. There should be no rush on making life altering decisions.

Best of luck to you and your journey ahead!!

[mommy2three]

lilmama-

Hi. I really feel for the situation you are in.......I haven't been in your shoes, but I've been in your baby's shoes.

My birthmom was 19 when she had me and decided to give me up for adoption. If I ever meet her, I want to thank her. I've had such a great life - such great opportunities I wouldn't of had. Being a teen mom is so difficult. I feel fortunate my ** choose adoption.

Have you been watching the Dr. Phil program about the family he has profiled? Their daughter was I think 16 and had a baby. She and her family are trying to raise the baby together, but it almost feels like the family is being pulled apart. You need a lot of support right now from your family. If you don't have it, I would really suggest looking into adoption as an option.

Good luck with you future. I wish you the best.

[GinnyBinny]

when I was pregnant at 17, my boyfriend (the bfather) and I discussed marrieage, but we decided not to. We loved each other, but we felt we were too young and did not know what our relationship would be like years to come. I did not want to take a chance of my son having divorced parents, and the chances of my boyfriend and I getting a divorce were much higher at our age. We decided not to marry and to do an open adoption. My son is now two years old and I see him often. He is happy and healthy and has so much more than I could offer him right now, and that makes me happy. As for my boyfriend and I, we are still together and plan to marry after we graduate from college. I am glad we decided not to marry at that time, I don't believe our relationship would be as stable as it is now if we had married then.

This is your decision to make. No one can make it for you. I really encourage you to take your time with all the decisions you may be facing right now. Think about the situation now, but also think about how things will be in the future.

I wish the best for you.
-Ginny

[wendy34]

I am really encourage reading your responses back to Lilmama. Lilmama like Sandy said take your time make the right decision, but at the sametime you have to look into the future for yourself and baby. After reading everyone's responses that just encourages me more on doing adoption.

[niece]

Sweetie
I wish you all of the best! I know that this is a diffcult time for you but know that if your arm yourself with knowledge. That way you will make the best choice for you and your child. Marriage is not the only way for your child to have both parents.
I wish that I knew what to tell you to do, but I don't. I just want you to be sure that you weigh all of the options before you make a choice that will last the rest of your life. Just know that there are people out here that care about you.
We have all been touched one way or another by adoption and you have to figure out if this is the right way for you.
Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk..
janieceowens@hotmail.com
You will always want to explore the resources that you have avalible to you in the community that you live in.

[swimbabe]

Do not use a child as a reason to marry. Many couples do that and end up fighting or splitting up. I was 15 when I became pregnant. My sons bfather and I had been together for over a year and discussed getting married. We were very much in love and talked of marriage in the future. He was very supportive and wanted to help me. Then it came down to making decisions and preparing for the baby we would soon have. He was never there when I needed him to be. After we placed our son for adoption, our relationship became very stressful. I had grown up so much through that experience, and although he was 20 years old, he still wanted to go out and have fun. Six months after I gave birth, he found a new girlfriend, and right before our sons first birthday, he moved out of the state. We no longer talk to each other, and I realize that it's for the best that he is no longer in my life. Teenagers are not ready to make a marriage commitment especially when the reason is because of an unplanned pregnancy. I am 17 now, and I still don't feel as if I'm ready to be married although I am in a very wonderful relationship. For some people it works out, but my advice would be to wait. No matter what choice you make as far as your baby. I would suggest waiting before you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone.