[mj77]

I understand what you are saying. And for the most part really do agree with you.

[lilifelover]

Abortion is not a "moral" or "religious" thing. It has both of those implications and perspectives, but it is reality first and foremost.

Yes, we should have the choice to choose which church we go to, where we work, if we go to school, ect. Those can all be interpreted as different choices, preferences, moral, social or religous obligations/oppertunities. Yea for that freedom.

BUT, the freedom to take another's life should NOT be a choice we have the option of making. It is rediculous that you can walk into a "crisis pregnancy center" (or worse yet) a planned parenthood and walk out awhile later having had an abortion.

Pregnancy is survivable. Yeah. That's the bottom line. In the cases of rape-pregnancy is still survivable. It isn't something you planned on or wanted to happen...but it is your reality and you can reap a ton of joy from it (as well as allow another human being to live) if you make the right choice.

If my daughter were to become pregnant as a teenager with limited oppertunities (like I did) I know for a fact that I would encourage her to carry out the pregnancy and choose between parenting and adoption. Not between abortion and life. That shouldn't be an issue. Pregnancy is hard, but it is only 9 months of your life. I don't think that's too much to give for your child. Maybe you won't have the same body, maybe you'll have to work around school a bit...but isn't a human life worth more than 2 semesters of school or a size 3 jeans?

Those women I know who have had abortions-I don't pass judgement on them. I know that's for God to do...and it won't change a thing what I think about something they've already done. I don't have any inhibitions about promoting an unborn child's life, however. I will remain outspoken about this topic because it hits very close to home and is a burden on my heart.

Millions of children lose their lives to abortion each year. Perhaps it's billions if you count the whole globe. I don't know if there is any accurate count outside of the developed countries. Maybe I'll see if I can find one. I've seen counts that range from 1.3-1.56 million abortions in the US annually. Isn't that sad? Even if 1.56 is inaccurate by those tenths of a point it is still one million children too many that are dying needlessly.

Some children die by chance. NO child should ever die by choice.

[Cheryl62]

I respect your feelings about the power of life. I share them. I hope your feelings also include the wrongness of capital punishment, since to me taking a life is always wrong -- but that's my own personal moral belief.

I can tell you some things about the developing world if you're interested, truly. Living in one of the poorest countries in the world has fundamentally changed my views about so many things. Living in South Asia, I see the damage that religious strife causes (slaughter between Hindus and Muslims for instance), the damage to people's lives caused by imposing religious beliefs that we "westerners" may not agree with (Sharia law, for instance, condoning stoning of adulterers, including women who have just given birth out of wedlock, or honor killings of sisters, etc.).

I also see so many mothers and babies die, because in the Hindu country where I live, having a son to conduct your death rites means everything-- women will deliver 10-12 babies, or which 3-4 survive, trying for that boy that lives. The women die, the babies die, and those that survive are malnourished and stunted. It makes me want to weep. So many die here from just lack of clean water, and very, very basic medical care. The parents just can't afford it -- and when they have 4-5 kids (or 10-12, which I see way too often!), they can afford it even less. They can't afford birth control either, and that's if it's even available. And, it's totally the man's choice anyway. And to make it worse, I get US government aid workers coming through for quick visits saying they're really not sure about the US promoting condom use here -- jeesh. This in a country where mothers see their children die far, far too often, and an AIDS epidemic is looking increasingly severe.

All those choices and policies that seem so right and absolute when you live in the US in a family background, like mine, that provides you with an education and opportunities to make choices for yourself that you (and your child) can live with, somehow just aren't as clear from here.

Sorry to run on -- my heart just hurts today... I spent all evening learning about some Kalaa Azaar patients here that will certainly die without $10 each worth of drugs -- many of them kids. There are thousands of them in this one tiny country, and there's not much I can do. That doesn't count all the dysentery, malaria, tuberculosis, and so many other things that just wipe out these kids. And the poorer they are, and the more kids the parents have, the less chance any of them will be healthy or educated, and so the cycle continues. Usually I can soldier on - today I want to weep.

Sorry,
Cheryl

[lilifelover]

That is sad...and I can understand the "need" for things like abortion in the country, but the real need is for a sociatal change. I'll be that it isn't that easy. The truth is, without birth control those women will continue to have 10 children and the conditions will continue to be poor. I still don't believe that abortion is the right way to go-that just takes that child's chance at life away completely. I saw a new special once on Chinese women (years and years ago). It highlighted one woman who was allowed to have so many girls, I think. She had had a daughter, her first and after that was required to have an abortion every time it was a confirmed girl...even if that meant a D&X (partial birth abortion). It is very sad...but in those cases the problem is society, not the children. I'm not sure how you fix a thing like that-so thank God I'm not their president or something...much smarter people are reserved for that.

And I also don't think that capital punishment is the best choice...to me it is a little grayer than abortion, but it is still killing and that's not our place. Same with killing terminally ill patients. Make them comfortalbe, by all means, but don't kill them! Cause you never know. God will take us when he's good and ready.

[pebbz]

i like the way this topic has turned! very interesting ideas. it caused me to think (which i refuse to do because it doesnt pay very well). i agree w/ you that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink......you can tell people what you think but after that it is between that person and God. and it's even harder when the government is involved. in America it is so very easy to get low cost or even free birth control...yet so many don't. now that makes me sad. in these other countries where death is so common my heart aches for these people. i am so sorry cheryl that you have to carry this great burden. i hope you can eventually have peace as i seem to carry horrors w/ me for years.

Marian

[Gina And Rich]

Hi Jennie
My name is Gina I am 19 and I have just read your letter and I know what you are going through because I have a little girl know and she is a child of rape. I was raped my boy exboyfriend and his friends. I didn't fined out about it until I started getting sick and my sixth month being preganent I finally went to the doctor and they told me that i was preganent. I didn't know what to do I was scared. but i got through it and know I am a single mother of a one year old little girl named McKailah but it was hard and there are times that I wish that I didn't give her up because then I wouldn't have to worry about her father but I know that i my heart I was doing the wrong thing so i was happy that I didn't some my advice to you is that if you want to give this baby up then do it before you get to close to her. I am a mother of one who is trying to have another one but there is no why for me to I have been trying to for about the last year know and i simple can't so know My soon to be husband and I are looking it to adoption so if you need any help just let me know. ok
My Prayers are with you and God Bless you
Ginaall all

[annmace2004]

I totally understand how you can believe that abortion, even in event of rape, is wrong because it is not the baby's fault, but I know what it feels like to carry a child as result of rape. When I was fourteen I was raped by a 21 year old man and I got pregnant. I know the pain that I went through was near unbearable. I felt that I did not ever want this man to have offspring and so I decided to get an abortion. I ended up miscarrying the child as result of being punched in the stomach by the same man that raped me. I am sad that a child did die, but then again, if the child were to turn out like him, I'd rather not be the mother of such evil.

[lilifelover]

Gina- I completely disagree with you! I'm sorry...yes, it is absolutely...well, emotional suicide to place a baby...I did it. My daughter is 9 months old today...but she is not with me here...she's in someone else's arms.

I can understand how some people think it would be easier to use the "classic" (or should I say archaic) adoption style where birthmom gives birth and the baby is whisked away to never be seen again.

It is better for baby and mommy to have a bonding time. A "hello and goodbye" time. Memories are the sustainers of a birthmom. If I didn't have the experiences I had in the hospital with my daughter I'm convinced I would not have survived this long. Bonding with her kept me alive...and I'm convinced it made her first few days better too.

Saying goodbye is the most awful thing in the world to a birthmom...but beginning that relationship that you will pick up someday down the road-near or far-is something that every mother should do. You can't get that time back.

AnnMace2004- Abortion isn't the child's fault. Think of it this way. It's like being sentanced to death because your mother broke the law. Every child is unique and a product of the two that brought him or her together mixed in with enviornment, parenting style and a million other variables that contribute to this one special completely unique person with a character and spirit all his own.

Being the "mother of evil" is not the case. That isn't what is happening. You are the mother of a baby...that's what it is. I consider my daughter's birthfather to be the absolute most evil person I've met...but I look at my daughter and see only beauty, only grace, only innocence. The way she is brought up will have a profound impact on the rest of her life...and I took drastic steps to ensure that she is brought up infinately better than her birthfather was so she'll have the chance to succeed.

The fact is, choices affect other people but they are not hereditary. Choosing to be gay is not something you can find in your genes (for example). Choosing to be bad or good is a choice that each person has to make in their lives and their parents have the oppertunity to steer them in the right direction.

Abortion is the "easy way out" to a lot of women out there. Some women do not believe that killing an unborn baby is wrong for whatever reason...I beg to differ and I believe that if we could ask the children-they would too.

[beachallie]

People fight for women's rights when it comes to abortion
but
I fight for the rights of unborn women.

One in four babies die from "choice".

I truly believe that God chooses two people, with the exact DNA, to create another life so that that baby will be the exact person he wants it to be.

Thank God my birth mother chose life.

So many people take the life they were given for granted.
Alot of them can't relate to the fact that abortion was considered for them.

I wish people could see the optimism in dark situations. A baby should be the joy of a traumatic situation.

It is a proven fact that babies feel pain from abortion.

I know these are random ramblings, but maybe some of you will agree..and if you don't - I'm always up for a healthy debate.

[pebbz]

thank you for your input beachallie. it's wonderful to hear from someone on "your side of the fence". what a wonderful opportunity you have to speak to others considering abortion. my parents were very young when my mom found out she was pg (they were 14 and 16). thank God abortion is not an option in our family. my mom never considered anything other than parenting me, although once when times were stressful she considered letting my grand parents raise me. i am glad she didn't though lol. what a good statement you made at the beggining of your post. thanks for bringing abortion into words maybe others can understand.

marian

[beachallie]

thanks for your reply i hope everyone gets involved w/ the pro-life movement. it's very important. abortion has been the cause of 45 million infant deaths since Roe v. Wade in '73 (i think it was '73). i would hope that everyone tries to convince others.. even their friends at the least.. about the downside of abortions and about parenting or adoption. to change one person's mind can do a world of difference. I know this isn't an abortion topic so I guess I should stop here.

[MamaS]

You do realize this post originated almost five years ago? Jmgirl is 20 years old now.

[Marimar]

One of my friend had abortion last week. I was with her. I waited in the waiting room with her.. It felt so bad.. I am not sure how she feels now.. I do not want to bring the subject up if she does not say anything ..

But it felt sooo wrong. And I still wonder if there was anything I could have said or done to prevent it from happening.. I feel sooo bad about it..
We had seen the pictures of the baby 10 weeks..
I wanted to cry so much..

It does not feel right. But there was nothing I could do. Apart from being there when my friend needed me.

For me even though the baby was not born yet , it was a baby. No doubt about it.

Yes I do believe that it was a murder. No question about that either.

Yet there is one thing.. I know two women who commited suicide because of adoption and relenquishment.
One of them is Cindy Jordan.. And I also hope their memories are kept alive.. And teenagers are also educated on downsides of adoption.. I really wonder why they are not remembered even here in adoption.org.. She had relenqueshed her child beliving that she was getting open adoption but the amom closed the adoption as soon as it is finalized and even wrote a book about how easy it was to get someones child by making them believing that they are getting open adoption!!!
And she got away with doing this.


I think pro-lifers makes adoption sound "easy ".
Too pinky and they do not really tell when one gives up her child what one really gives up.

[xemtrockstarx]

15 year olds are not the only folks who think like this.

I am pro-adoption (as someone said) and pro-choice; however, I do not think abortion should be used as a form of birth control. I agree, if you've never been in the situation...it'd be a hard one to form a solid opinion about.

[bromanchik]

I wonder where jmgirl is now?