[mommyhalasz]

Hi, this is my first post here. I am 21, married, and have 2 wonderful kids, a 4 yr old, and 2 yr old. My only dismay and joy is that I am pregnant AGAIN. It is everything my husband and I can do to keep our headds above water so to speak, and care for our 2 kids. I am considering adoption. I cannot mentally or physically care for another child. My husband wants so badly to keep this baby, but realizes we have no way to care for him/her. We have not been to a dr., we have not done much of anything yet. I took a preganacy test after a #1 missed period. It was positive. But then I ended up hvaing my period? I have no clue how far along i am. I feel pregnant. So I am either almost 5 months, or going by my period, I am only one. Ugh. I just need some support. Please try to recommend what I should say when I go to the Dr, and how to tell select family. Or who to talk to.No agency referrals, but what places in the community there are to help me, I think that is alowed? Thank you.

[denise65fl]

I don't know what state you are in but there are organizations out there to help your family out. Churches are a great place to start. If one is too pushy, try another one. Do you work? There are organizations to help with financial needs as well as emotional needs. Even Parent's Day Out programs (our church offers them and even gives financial aid for those who ask). If your husband wants to keep the baby, then start by trying to put your energy there. You need to see a doctor for the sake of yourself and the baby. Explain your feelings to the doctor, he may have some great advise. Just keep asking. Help will arrive.
You are absolutely not the first parents to be in this situation. God Bless you all. My prayers are with you.-Denise

[Xanny]

I agree with Denise. Definitely go to the doctor to be sure you're pregnant and to do what you need to do for yourself and the fetus. It sounds like you definitely want to carry the pregnancy to term (not have an abortion) so whether you decide to parent the child or make an adoption plan, you'll want the baby to be healthy.

Sometimes pregnant women can have blood spotting that is not a period or a miscarriage. Maybe that's what happened.

Deciding whether to parent this child is a big decision--one you and your husband should make together. Is there a neutral person you can talk to that will help you figure out your options? It could be a clergyperson or a family therapist or someone like that? If you can't find someone totally neutral, most adoption agencies have social workers on staff and others they can recommend who might be able to help you. Planned Parenthood is another option--they have counselors on site, as well, and they might be free.

Listen to your heart and you'll definitely do the right thing.

Best wishes,

Xanny

[niece]

well dear;
Listen to your heart and you will be in my thoughts.

[tobeafamily]

I would recommend you speak with Brenda Romanchik at Open Adoption Insight. She does *not* provide adoption agency or placement services. Brenda's a birthmother in an open adoption and an adoption educator - one of the most unbiased professionals I've seen within the community.

They have a webpage - just put "Open Adoption Insight" into a search engine and they'll come up - it's a 'dot org' ending.

Best of luck,

Regina, Amom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[prolife4life]

I wouldn't recommend going to Planned Parenthood for counseling as they are the leading abortion provider in the country, their "counselors" do not hold a degree in counseling and have been referred to by many women I know who have spoken with these people as "telemarketers". Remember, PP stands to make a profit off of your decision and they cannot be totally objective when money is on the line. They do not profit from adoptions and there for have EXTREMELY low adoption referral statistics, while their abortion and abortion referral nubers are the highest in the nation. My guess (from experience)is that they would hear your situation and counsel you to abort.

IMHO, I would go to a source that will not profit financially from your decision and who will respect the life within your womb and your expressed desire to carry your baby to term. I'd speak with professionals (clergy, adoption advocates, and social services agencies, etc) to find out what help is available in your sate and county should you decide to parent or place. A Crisis Pregnancy Center can also be a place to talk out your feelings with other women AND get free items and support to help you what ever decison you make (they can help with adoption or provide maturnity and child care items etc).

Thanks for sharing your story and my prayers are with you and your family. Please keep us updated.

Blessings!

[eagermommy]

First of all I would go to your husband and hug him, then sit doen with him and talk, not scream or holler but talk. This is yalls child. If he insists on keeping this child then tell him, he needs to handle the fiances from here on out, if he doesnt already. Try to figure out a way to be able to raise the child and if yall figure there is no way then mention adoption. Then both of yall make a list of qualties you want the adoptive family to have. You can have an open adoption to where you and your husband can get updates and pics of the child as it is growing up. What state are you in? I wouldnt go to the planned parenthood because they do push abortion like someone else has said. Good luck!