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Originally Posted By Amanda

I have a three and half year old son who obviously is too young to tell him about his " big brother" who I gave up for adoption 11 years ago.

Recentely, my in laws decided to drag up my past to hurt me because of a family argument. They have not seen my son since because I am too scared that they will tell him. However he is missing his grandparents.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? I am absolutely sickened by this whole thing
Amanda

fitzgerald@16hoscar.freeserve.co.uk

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Originally Posted By BrendaR

Get the book Beginnings: How Families Come To Be. He is not too young to know. If you have pictures share them. Tell him you were not able to take care of a baby when his brother was born, but that you were ready to be a mommy when he was born. Maybe someday he will get to meet him. It is better he grow up knowing.

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Originally Posted By Heather Fowler

Just tell him he has the right to know. Look at it this way would you want to know?

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Originally Posted By Heather

Well you need to see if you can find his brother and get them to meet so they both will know about each other. If that doesn't work out then just wait till he is about 6 or 7 to tell him about his brother because he does have the right to know and so does your other child. Beside if his grandparents tell him first then he will ask you why didn't you tell him. And I think that you should let him see his grandparents.

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Originally Posted By Devon

I think you should let your son know, afterall he does have an older brother to look up too. About your family, talk it out with them, and let them know that what they did really hurt you, and try to make ammends.

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Originally Posted By Lauren

I think you should let him know, even if he doesnt "understand" now, atleast when he does understand it wont be a big surprise. and he wont feel like you kept a secret from him.