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Originally Posted By sandra

I have made my choice and no one except my boyfriend knows. How do I tell my family? I am so scared. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

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Originally Posted By Crystal

They may try to change your mind for you or belittle you into doing what they want and not what you've decided what's best for you and the baby. Every family is different with how they deal with "touchy" subjects. You know your family best; it may help to tell one person at a time, so that you can deal with each person instead of a group of unhappy campers. I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts. God be with you.

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Originally Posted By jands

Hi Sandra,

It is a tough thing to do as you know. :-) As Crystal said, you know your situation best. You may want to visit an adoption agency just to learn exactly what they can help you with in your plan. This will help you answer your family's questions.

One thing that I believe is important, and that is to tell your parents as early as you can. This gives them time to deal with the news before the rest of the world knows. They will probably need time to think this through.

Most parents support the adoption plan once they understand it. Good luck to you.

jands

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Originally Posted By TenderSoul

Sandra,
Yes it is a hard thing to have to go through, maybe it would be good for you and your boyfriend to both be present when the family is told. It is a decision that you both have made together. You will have some that don't agree with your choice and you know that going into it. I really didn't realize until after I put my son up for an adoption 13 yrs ago how that really effected some of my family like my parents, that I was taking away a grandchild of theirs. So there will be others who will feel the pain of the placing of a child. You just have to tell them that you are doing what is best for everyone and mostly the baby. At least you are giving the child a change for a good life. My prayers are with, good luck.

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Originally Posted By TenderSoul

I agree with jands, tell your parents soon, if your really set on your choice to place your child the last thing you need is for your family getting attached to the idea that there will be a new addition to the family. It is best to tell early so they can get use to the idea before the baby is born, thats not to say it will make it any easier on anyone.

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Originally Posted By lovestory

Have you chosen your adoptive family yet? If not, that is something that maybe you can get your family involved in, so that they feel more a part of the decisions.

Stephanie (lovestory@ivillage.com)

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I will tell you this.....YES it's the hardest thing to do but YOU never know.....it may take a minute to sink in but the support and love may shine through...IN MY case I just knew I was going to be hit with negativity etc....and I am 30 years old!!!!!! It has actually brought some things out between my mother and I and brought us closer....MY dad, of course, thought abortion was the easy quick way to deal....MY mother stood up for me explaining that NOT EVERYONE can just run out and do that.......Sooo in my case, it has been a good thing....and definately made me feel like I don't have to be holed up away from my family for 9 months......Plus I am having TWINS, I just knew I would get reamed!!! BUT it's okay and God NEVER gives you more than you can handle....never, ever, ever, no matter how bad it may seem....Someone always has worse or been worse off than you!!! Just trust your faith and if you don't have any...GET some.....It does wonders!! Good luck and God Bless!!!

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Originally Posted By DrgnLibra

You have already discussed it with the two people who matter the most, you and your boyfriend. Once you obtain all the information to make this very difficult decision you should be confident enough to tell others.
Remember, you are informing them of your plans, not asking for their approval. They should respect you enough to give support and understanding, not judgements. If you make the right choice for you for the right reasons for you then you will feel it in your heart and this will help give you the emotional strength to deal with other peoples reactions in a positive way. When I had a child for my sister I found that those that condemned my decision the most were often the worst parents I had ever seen, many of them should not have been allowed to keep their own children! That realization always made me smile when they made rude comments. Good luck, and remember that you are a wonderful unselfish person to be able to give such an incredible gift of love to someone else!
God bless you always.

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Originally Posted By chester

Tell them and take the responsibility you created

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Originally Posted By Devon

I think you should tell your family. It will take a huge weight off your shoulders and you will feel much better when its all out and done.

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Originally Posted By An unknown friend

You can just be upfront with your parents. They might say one thing but do another. I was pregnant at age 17 and my mom said that she would kick me out if i ever came out pregnant especially at an early age. Mind you she is the first and only person that has helped me.

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Originally Posted By Sheri Vasboe

If you are ready to give a child up for adoption then you have already made it through the toughest decision you'll ever have to make. As far as having to tell family being hard, that is nothing compared to the day you hand that child over to someone else. Be tough, you'll need your family, and someday, just like me, you'll be ready to start a family and be a mom. Good luck and god bless!

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Originally Posted By Irish

well i am pregnant and only my boyfriend knows and we made the choice to keep it since i know hes not going to leave me or anything because we have been going out for 4 years and we are there for each other and we tell each other everything we care about each other and my mom knows that but she just doesn't know abouthow far our realtionship goes i mean we never fight but she told me never to have sex with him and i did alot of times throughout the years and now im stuck with this baby we both got jobs and we found a apartment that we could afford but my mom doesn't know any of this and she is so proud of me because i win medals in sports and i help kids with their problems if they have been abused or something and i don't want to see that smile and all of that confidence in me that she has go away and i want my baby so what should i do

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Originally Posted By be honest

Irish,

You need to be honest with her. She may be disappointed but could you imagine how hurt she'll feel if you keep this from her. This is her grandchild, as well as your baby. Please understand that none of us is perfect and your mom knows that deep down. She just wanted the best for you. Just as one day you will want for your baby. The circle of life repeats in all of us.

I hope this helps
PB