[Sally26]

I have seen children on a Waiting Children site. The site claims that the cost is @ 24,000 is this accurate? How many trips are required?

[Jmom72]

Dear Sally,

This board is very quiet. I hope someone will answer your questions. If not you would want to try FRUA online because they get more traffic there. Good luck!
Amy K, NJ

[carmen90]

I have no idea about trips, but in Ukraine you are supposed to go there, then find your child from their books. Pre-selecting isn't allowed as far as I know, although I think in the past some families have managed it, or claim to have done it

[Max'smom]

I agree with the above posters. Also, photo listings have no validity, from the Ukrainian government's perspective, that is to say, the won't reserve/hold a particular child for you, because they consider photo listings illegal. They also do not recognize or work with agencies. So any fees you see are estimates from an agency here, that has no legal rights to represent you or refer a child. Be careful.

[WLAmom]

It takes 5+ weeks to adopt from Ukraine. You can leave for 10 days after about 3 weeks and then come back. It costs 20-30K to adopt including fees + travel. We adopted a 9 year old girl from Ukraine in March and it has been an amazing experience. Do not rely on photolists unless you are looking for large sibling groups, older kids (13+) or special needs kids. For younger healthy kids, they are adopted out soon after they become available and it is difficult to plan in advance even if you know of a specific child.
Let me know if you would like me to refer you to the agency/coordinator we used.
Good luck!

[sak9645]

Unfortunately, while some families spend $20,000-$30,000 on their adoptions, others spend much more, and may come home without a child.

Under Ukraine's new laws, you will NOT be able to adopt a child below school age, unless he/she has significant special needs. So don't go to Ukraine unless you are prepared to adopt a school aged child and/or a child with signficant special needs. Healthy babies and young children, or those with minor special needs, are quickly adopted by domestic families, who have priority.

Ukraine doesn't allow American adoption agencies to participate in the adoption process, although some families retain agencies to help with paperwork and such, behind the scenes. This, of course, comes at a cost.

When you adopt from Ukraine, you will be "invited" to travel to look at books with profiles of available children. You are supposed to identify children you think you can parent, go with a guide to visit them, and then make a decision. If you see a child you can parent, then you can complete his/her adoption very quickly.

Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way. Ukraine has a strong commitment to finding homes for hard-to-place children. As a result, when you go to the Ukrainian government office to look at books, the staff will often show you only books with children who have severe special needs, or who are 10 or over. If you do not see any children whose needs you feel you can meet, and ask to see other books, the staff may or may not show you any. You may be told to go back to the U.S. and wait for a new appointment. Some families come home disheartened, at that point, and decide to go to a different country.

If it happens that you see some children whom you think that you can parent, and travel to their orphanages, you will be allowed to see ONLY those children. Even if you see, as you walk around, a beautiful six year old with relatively minor special needs, who might be perfect for your family, you will not be allowed to review his/her profile or meet him/her.

If it happens that one of the children you selected from a book seems, upon meeting, like a possible good fit with your family, you will be given a short time -- possibly just overnight -- to make a decision about him/her. That time frame may be too short to allow you to get input from an adoption medicine professional about the child's medical records, or to begin investigating resources in your community for meeting the child's needs. It will take quite a leap of faith to decide to adopt that child.

On the other hand, if you make a decision NOT to adopt any of the children you found in the books and then met, you may or may not get a second chance to look at books and select another group of children to visit. Unfortunately, it is more likely that you will be told to go home and wait for a new invitation. This travel can really ramp up the cost of an adoption, and many families decide not to proceed with Ukraine at this point.

My understanding is that you can apply for an invitation three times, after which you can no longer adopt from the country.

This system means that no one is allowed to get a referral before travel, no one is allowed to select a child from a photolisting, and no one can go to Ukraine and select a child from an orphanage simply by going there.

While we know that an occasional person has found a way around the rules, I also suspect that at least a few of these people have circumvented the rules through use of bribery. Although I sincerely believe that the Ukrainians have the best interests of children at heart, the use of bribes is very common in some countries; however, it should never be a factor in adoption. If you want to slip a bill or two to someone at the airport to make sure you get a seat on a certain flight, or to prevent the contents of your luggage from being stolen, fine. But slipping a bill to an adoption official, whether done by the prospective parent or by an agency, is not acceptable, in my book.

Sharon

[Max'smom]

Hi,
I agree with Sharon's advice. Regarding bribery, typically Americans are unaware that a significant share of their fees go toward bribes, so they will deny using bribery. However, state fees for adopting from Ukraine are insignificant (at most, a couple of hundred dollars), so all the rest is "soft money" being handled to "expedite" court decisions etc.

[Sally26]

Thank you for the responses! I had no idea.

[bCareful]

Sally,

Not sure what age range or health status you are considering but I just want to let you and anyone else reading this know that there are no healthy babies available for international adoption from the Ukraine. My wife and I went there after being reassured by the adoption service company we contracted with, only to find out the real truth. Please do your research folks.

[LoveBeingaMom]

bCareful,

First I am going to point out that the OP was inquiring about the process of Ukraine adoption and was specifically referring to a Waiting Child list which usually refer to older or special needs children. Second, as the adoptive mother of one special needs child (domestic) who had horrible issues as an infant but is now healthy (due to our diligent, loving and thoroughly joyful care) and the about to be parent of a child (international) with significant craniofacial differences, I must say I find the implications of your response insulting--not for me, but for my children.

I am sorry for your experience--that you feel lied to and were disappointed you could not adopt a perfectly healthy child from an institution in what is probably considered a developing country still recovering from the Iron Curtain era. This is really a statement of disbelief in your lack of understanding of international adoption.

Understand 1) that institutions in developing countries rarely produce "healthy" children even if they are free of illnesses or "physical imperfections". In fact, any child who lives in an institution anywhere is expected to be delayed by an average of three months for every month spent in the institution.

And 2) I understand and respect that every family has to take into consideration what they can handle, but I resent the implication from disappointed parents such as yourself that children with medical needs or other special needs are defective products. There are many "special needs" that would be considered minor in the U.S. because they are treatable and children live very normal lives and there are children that need more than that. There IS a SPECTRUM. And trust me if you can handle the financial and travel stress of an international adoption, you can handle SOMETHING on the spectrum. Some of us can handle the more extreme on the spectrum and some can only handle the minor.

How could you meet any of these children or visit one of their institutions and speak of them in a way that makes it sound like they are simply defective produce?

Did you fail to do ANY research on adoptions from the Ukraine, institutionalized children or did you just CHOOSE to believe what you wanted to when you heard the outlandish lies that medical conditions are exaggerated in the Ukraine files? I guess I simply do not know why you even wanted to adopt internationally.

In reality, you could give birth to a child that has any number of conditions on the same spectrum even some you were referred. Even if you did everything right--prenatal testing is not even close to 100% accurate. Any way you choose to become a parent, you need to expect that anything can happen, your child's health can surprise you or they could be in accident at 10 and be paralyzed for life. Those are the scary and loving risks we take as parents everyday. You have to decide before you become a parent of ANY child that you will handle whatever happens-- not that you Can handle it, just that you WILL handle it. From the way you speak of these children, I wonder if you would.

I am sorry but my children are not a burden to me. I receive the same absolute joy out of raising them that my friends get from their "healthy" kids.

[bCareful]

My post is meant for those adopting parents who are being lied to by the adoption placement companies. Many prospective parents do not want to adopt children with medical issues and they are told by the adoption placement companies that there are healthy babies available for interntional adoption from the Ukraine. This is a lie! I am not basing this on my own observation but also on the word of the doctors and in-country support people we met with in the Ukraine.

I think it is admirable for prospective parents to adopt children with special needs. But you should not chatise or denegrate other adopting parents who do not wish to.

[LoveBeingaMom]

I was NOT denegrating parents who do not wish to parent children with "special needs". As I said, every family must make a decision on what they can handle.

I was chastising parents, such as yourself, who choose international adoption without fully researching agencies, the country's issues and the issues of institutionalized children or who do the research and despite what they learn choose to believe an agency over their own research. Then make comments on every international forum on this site that mentions medical conditions or Ukraine "be warned there are no available healthy babies".

To go into international adoption with the belief that you can adopt a child from an institution in any country without ANY issues is naive--it may happen but it is very uncommon. Transition to family life from an institution is a difficult process at any age for a child.

If you want a guarantee of a healthy child then you shouldn't become a parent--birth or adoption will give you surprises, you cannot control what will happen in the future or the hidden diagnoses you may find. You could adopt a seemingly healthy child and bring him/her home and the day after you get home find that she has previously undiagnosed cancer. You could have a perfect pregnancy and give birth to a child with a cleft lip/palate. You could adopt a "healthy" child and bring him home and find that he has RAD (if you don't know what that is another thing you need to research before you adopt).

[crusadersrealm]

The cost is between 25 and 30 thousand. We adopted our daughter in October 2011. We hosted he during the summer and adopted when we finished all the paperwork stateside. Though it is true that Ukraine has laws against pre-selecting a child, you are able to request a specific child, especially if you have hosted them. It is also true that children under 5 without special needs are not available to be adopted by international parents. I hope this information is of help to you.

[DPline]

Please remember that agency discussion must take place via private message and that links to agencies are not allowed.

Thanks!

[bCareful]

Get real, please. The children available for international adoption in the Ukraine have "serious" medical conditions. As you said, "don't believe the adoption placement companies". You also do not have to believe the "in-country" people that work in the industry. You say everyone should do the research. Well, I am contributing to the research by sharing with everyone our direct knowledge.