[adoptukraineblog]

There is a rumor going around that 30 or 40 or 50 families in Ukraine now.... They cannot find their child and are on their second appointment. And some families are returning home without a child.

I don't know how true this rumor is. But if you read blogs you will see some families talking about their second appointment. They have to return home and wait for an appointment date for a third appointment. I have only read (in blogs) about one family who had a third appointment this year.

On my blogroll I point out a couple of families who are waiting for a second appointment.

http://ukraine.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/ukrainian-adoptive-family-blo groll

AC let me post her story back in May. She and her husband returned without a child.

Ukraine Adoption Blog - Returning Home Without Child
Ukraine Adoption Blog - No Child - Family's Story

http://ukraine.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/why-do-families-return-from-u kraine-with


And just some historical perspective... There have always been families who return from Ukraine without children. I adopted in 2000 and it was happening then too. In 2000/2001 about 1% to 2% (I base this number based on public and private emails/sampling) of families return home without a child. There are many different reasons why this happens. Every family's story is unique. But being unable to find young child is one reason why this happens.

Families who are flexible about age/gender/health have a more postive Ukrainian adoption experience.

[Max'smom]

I'm curious to know why these families are led to believe that they can request a child under 24 months from Ukraine. My friends who are long-term volunteers in Ukrainian orphanages say that for several years now, since the "birth payment" was increased significantly, there have been no children in that age group available for IA in a number of orphanages they work with. Do you think these families have been misled by their facilitators or agencies?

[adoptukraineblog]

I know that Canadians have limited adoption options and limitations. It varies by state, but most Canadians cannot adopt a child over 3 years of age. And because of the public health system, they aren't allowed to adopt children with medical issues.

Some Canadian agencies may not have been very clear about the risks that parents were taking with Ukraine. I don't know.

And with some American families, I have seen the adoption agency having a role too.

I don't know any faciliator (but there could be some) who are telling families they can adopt young children.

Personally I have told several people who 100% want to adopt a child < 5 years... I told them to adopt from another country.

The information on adopted children's age is out there. Heck the US government supplies it.

[fionab]

We are australians wanting to adopt internationally. There is very little information available to us on countries such as Romania, Ukraine, Russia. How should we start? is it best to go through an agency? Could anyone who has had a successful adoption from these regions help us to map out what we need to do?

[soba]

First of all I'd like to apologize if I make mistakes. I am new to this forum and don't know how everything works yet.

Me and my husband adopted our daughter from Ukraine in 2004. We are Swedish and adopted through a Swedish organisation (like an agency, except adoption agencies run for profit are not legal in Sweden). Since the organisation took care of most paper work I am not entirely sure what they had to do, but I believe they have to follow the same rules as any other organisations/agencies from abroad.

We had some bad luck at first, as it turned out the adoptions authorities had forgotten(!) about our appointment. There was noone available to see us that day. Our Ukrainian guide (employed by our Swedish organisation) then rescheduled and we returned the next day. On that day there were no young children ready for adoption and we did not have permission to adopt an older child. We were going to be first-time-parents and Swedish authorities are reluctant to let you adopt older children if you do not have plenty of experience with children. As far as I can remember there were no difficulties getting a second appointment. Or a third, or a fourth... We must have been there at least six times over a period of ten days before we were given information about the little girl who as to become our daughter. Maybe it doesn't work like that any more?

I was also surprised to see that it is difficult to adopt children under the age of five from Ukraine. Our daughter was barely 15 months old when we first came to her orphanage. I know several other families in Sweden who have adopted from Ukraine and their children have all been younger than five years, most of them around 18-24 months. The newest arrivals among these children were adopted early in 2007.

I have been told that it is difficult to adopt young children in good health from Ukraine. Maybe that is what is meant here? Our daugther had no serious condition, but there were a couple of medical problems that are either healed by now or not very significant. Some of the children from Ukraine that we know have been completely healthy at the time of the adoption, but I believe that most of those who have come during the last 3-4 years have had something wrong with their health, although it has usually been minor things.

[mom4three]

We have been reading blogs in the last 3 months, and a number of families are coming home without children or are having to be in the Ukraine for 5-6 weeks to get their second appt and court date.
These families have asked for healthy children under 2. They are usually given 3-6 files to look at and the children are very sick. Some have chosen a child to visit only to have a doctor with them/or in the USA to tell them not to do it. The agency's need to be telling us this. Instead they say we can get a healthy child 18mths and older. Finally, after submitting our money they then say be flexable with age and health. Once we were having our homestudy done they were then trying to push 3-4 yr olds on us.
We finally decided to leave the Ukraine program because we wanted a child under 2 yrs old. Now we are looking at Bulgaria, which you do receive a referrel for.
Also it seems like they do a "bait and switch" in the Ukraine. They try to keep families there as long as possible and then sometimes show healthier children at the 2nd appointment or say there are no new children available you need to go back to the USA and wait for another invitation to the SDA. Families that have done this have ended up leaving the Ukraine program and adopted from Ethiopia. Just some thoughts if you are considering Ukraine.
The sad thing is that those orphanes are the ones to suffer. I understand the Ukraine government wants their citizens to adopt the babies but what happens to the children you arent being adopted because people are playing God at the SDA?

[Jessi_76]

How heartbreaking for those families...

Hi FionaB ~ We are adopting from Russia - two children, and although we are in the U.S., the process has been very smooth and quick, and the experience overall wonderful, despite a few minor glitches that could not have been prevented. Feel free to pm me if you want more info about Russian adoption.

Best of luck to everyone!

[fgrech]

We are trying to have more information on russian adoption process as we are trying to adopt independently. any help

[sak9645]

fgrech:

Be aware that most regions of Russia now require use of an accredited agency. Independent adoption is becoming much less of an option.

Sharon

[sak9645]

Please, please read the following before you start an adoption from Ukraine. It is on the website of the U.S. State Department, and although it was put up almost a year ago, it is still believed to be valid.

Adoption Notice – 12/4/08

According to a resolution that came into effect on December 1, 2008, the Ukrainian Adoption Authority, the SDAPRC, will now have the right to refuse to register your dossier if, at the time of the dossier’s submission to the SDAPRC, the central database of Ukrainian children available for intercountry adoptions will not contain any children complying with the recommendation in your home study. Given the statistics published by the SDAPRC and available on the website of the U.S. Embassy in Kyiv at: U.S. Embassy Kyiv - Visa Services, there are currently no healthy children (or children with minor, correctable health problems) under three and very few under six years old. Therefore, if you are recommended for a healthy child or a child with minor/correctable health problems under six years of age, the SDAPRC is very likely to refuse even to accept and register your dossier."

In short, do NOT apply to Ukraine in hopes of adopting a child below the age of six, unless you are open to and approved for some significant special needs. And do expect that it may be difficult to find even a school aged child with few or no health issues, nowadays.

One thing not mentioned by the State Department is that the Ukrainian authorities have a strong desire to find good homes for children with very significant special needs, and have made placing these children a priority. As a result, when a family IS invited to visit the National Adoption Center to select children to meet, the officials may initially show them books of children with fairly severe health issues. Some families have reported being unable to get the authorities to show them children, even those over age six, with mild to moderate special needs. Others have said that it took a lot of negotiating to get to see children whom they could parent.

Also, do remember that "choose your own child" isn't for everyone. While it may sound attractive, it may be difficult, when you are far from home, stressed out, tired, and so on, to decide whether a child has a special need you can manage or not, and whether there are some other issues that may not appear in the medical, such as FAS or RAD. And Ukraine tends to give you very little time to make a decision on a child, once you have met one whom you think you might be able to parent. It may be difficult to get adequate information, and to have adequate time, to consult with an adoption medicine specialist or other physician back home, to talk with family members, to assess your community's resources, and so on.

All in all, adoption from Ukraine must be considered high risk, except for people who are open to older children with special needs, comfortable with a LOT of unknowns, familiar with the medical care system and medical terminology used in Ukraine, familiar with some of the issues found in post-institutionalized children, and so on. Since you are not permitted to use an agency, except in the background to help with paperwork, you also have to trust in-country guides and translators, who may or may not be familiar with adoption issues or able to translate medical terms accurately.

I do hope that Ukraine's orphans, who cannot find families in their own country, will be able to find good homes with Americans and people from other countries who can meet their needs. I'd love to see lots more people willing to adopt older children and children with special needs. But I know that it is not doing a service to these children if people adopt them and find that they are unable to meet their needs, because they did not really know what they were getting into.

That way lies disrupted adoptions, dissolved marriages, and years of guilt for parents who feel like failures. More importantly, that sort of situation leads to kids getting more and more breaks in their bonds of trust, as they learn that adults won't stick with them, and to their own feelings of failure, as they come to assume that they are so "bad" that no one would want to love them.

Speaking personally, I would not have been equipped to meet the needs of a child with significant special needs, or a school aged child, because of my age and single status. But even if I had been open to some significant issues, I personally would not have embarked on my own adoption journey without the aid of a highly reputable American agency that could lead me through all aspects of the process, work effectively with the foreign government, and give me a lot of in-country support.

Moreover, I would not have considered traveling "blind" and taking the risk of coming home without a child or with a child whose needs I simply couldn't handle. I wanted to have a referral to look at while still in the comfort of my own home, so that I could consult with friends and family, talk to doctors, explore the medical, mental health, and educational resources of my community, etc.

Again, that's just me. But I would hope that YOU take a long, hard look at any adoption program you consider, and make darn sure that it is right for you, and that you can handle what's in store. Adoption always involves a pretty big leap of faith, but some of us can take bigger leaps than others!

Best wishes on your journeys to parenthood.

Sharon

[MenloAve]

We thought since we were looking at a child between 2-5 it would be easier to get a referral in Ukraine. It was a horrible experience and one I wouldn't really want anyone else to go through. They are really, really limiting referrals of healthy or even minor issues of all kids under 6. We spent 3 months in country, we were never given a second appointment, and of course all money's paid upfront were lost. When we came home to wait for the 2nd appointment nothing materialized. I think the feeling might be similar to a biomom changing her mind right before you were to take custody. We were just completely devastated after that trip. It took so much energy to start again and when we did, we never thought it would actually work.

What is sad is that there are plenty of healthy kids under the age of six in the orphanages. They are just not being referred for adoption. There are all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with the children. We did some volunteer work at a few orphanages in the west side of Ukraine near Poland while we waited for our second appointment. I would note however, that if you are interested in kids over the age of six we met some wonderful kids that were 7-9 years old that were just craving parents.

We are now home with a wonderful little girl from Poland. All together 1 year from submission of dossier to being home. I think the wait times are typically longer than this and there are very strict time in country requirments that many people can't do, but it is an option. Plus, you don't travel blind. We turned down the first referral, but accepted the second.

Feel free to PM with questions on either country experience.

[Max'smom]

If the recent post was asking about Russian adoptions, not Ukrainian adoptions, they are posting in the wrong place. But if they are interested in Ukraine, then they should be made aware that the policy of Ukraine for many years has been to place special needs as well as older kids with international parents. A lot of intermediaries (including adoption agencies) gave misleading information and some continue to do so.