[erkfam]

Hello to everyone. I have such a burden on my heart. My hub and I were ready to begin the indpt process, and suddenly I've come across horrific stories...

On another website's forum, it is flooded with posts about how the NAC nearly works AGAINST the adopting parents. I've read they will rarely show anyone photos of adoptable kids that match the request. i.e. if you want a toddler or young boy, they will only show you adolescent girls or severe special needs. I read how they are so inflexible that they offer you a referal completely opposite of what you are looking for and if you don't take it, they suggest you leave Ukraine.

Is this true?!
Has anyone here experienced such a difficult encounter with the NAC? Is adopting in the Ukraine that much of a risk that it is more common to end up empty-handed?

After reading from this other forum, my hub and I thought maybe this was God showing us that the door to this route is not meant for us, so we've been looking into domestic. My heart is literally mourning over the Ukraine; this is such emotional turmoil! We're are just trying to figure out the direction God is compelling us in. I don't want my emotions to cloud my ability to determine His will for us.

PLEASE SHARE your experiences specifically with the NAC!!
Thanks, Stacia

[wwjdmelissa]

Hey Stacia,
It's Melissa again. I hate to see you in so much pain over this situation. When we went to NAC we asked to adopt from a particular region, Lugansk, so they gave us the book to it but we didn't see any children that met our requirements so they handed us a stack of loose files from all regions and we were able to search through all of them and pick out the children we were interested in. We had decided on three of them and we had him call all three to get the information on them and we decided on Ashley.
I know there are certain situations that I've heard of when someone came home empty handed and it had something to do with their agency, Not the NAC. Just be wise with who you choose to help you complete your adoption. Don't let satan still your joy.

[redburds]

Hello Stacia,
You need not worry as much as you are. I do not believe that the NAC works against adoptive parents. Ukraine has painted a picture of Americans being very wealthy and capable of taking care of the expensive medical needs of a special needs child, whether it be short-tern or life long. By their standards, we are wealthy as they are a very poor country, particularly in the regions. So, they will make sure that these children are shown to Americans in hopes that a family will take them home.
We went to adopt either sex and were shown 2 books of special needs children some in our age range, some not with a laundry list of problems ranging from Downs Syndrome to AIDS. The only one that was pretty healthy was our son, who's only diagnosis was hydrocephaly. The psychologist said that she wanted to check on this diagnosis to make sure it was fact. She found out that his diagnosis was given at birth but that he did not have it. Many times diagnosis are given that do not exist in the child in order to get more funding for the orphanage or they are just misdiagnosed to the poor medical knowledge.
Melissa if RIGHT, it is not the NAC who makes or breaks an adoption, it is your faciltator. Please take comfort in that fact. May God lead you down the right path and bless you with your child.
Redburds

[erkfam]

You guys are soooo encouraging! I don't want to throw this whole process away, so now, hearing from you two, there is hope enough to press onward. This does seem to be where my heart feels led-- even over any other country or domestic. I can't seem to let this go.
Thanks so much!!!

[NutmegW]

I think we must have read the same website. I read all of the horror stories today, and all about the slowdown, and the schedule being pushed way out into 2005, and people coming home without children after weeks being there. So I was also in agony, having had my heart set on a sweet little girl from Ukraine, and there is so much emotional investment in this choice that it is all so very hard. But I told my husband over supper that we are going to have to give up our dream of Ukraine, and go to China instead.

Now I am really wondering what the current situation actually is. It is hard to know what to believe. And which facilitators to trust!!! I would like to think that we can still go to Ukraine. But how can I find out what is really happening over there? The ladies who posted good things above are very encouraging, but your adoptions are already complete, if I understand correctly, and were not conducted within the last month or so. So, maybe things are still good, but maybe they have changed...how can I know?

Help!!!

Julie

[redburds]

Hi Julie,

Yes our adoption is complete. We adopted our son 4 months ago in May, not too long ago.

If you like, I can refer you to the agency we used. Our team was wonderful and made our adoption a success. Please feel free to PM me if you would like more information!

Redburds

[erkfam]

I bet we did read the same site! But you know what I spent the day doing? I went to a website-- might be the one mentioned in an above post-- and there were lots of links to families' websites and the month they completed their adoption. I read all their journals and then I contacted the ones from Aug and July of '04 and asked them their experience with NAC.
They all responded and were very affirming of the process, saying the trouble lies with having a poor facilitator!
So Redburds, I was wondering if I could PM you also and find out who you used? I've read lots about Oleg and have sent him an email. I'd like to know who are some other good options so I can compare services provided and fees.

Oh how I love this forum!! You are all so great!
Stacia

[erkfam]

Here's the address which lists all the families' websites (they are on the left side of the page).

www.americanexpat.blog-city.com

Please post back here if you find any other encouraging info!
Thanks,
Stacia

[wwjdmelissa]

Hey guys,
I will get in touch with my facilitator in Ukraine and see how things are going in NAC. I will also find out what the turn around time is once you turn in your dossier. I would hate to see you give up on Ukraine because there are so many adorable children there that will have NO chance at life without people like you going over there and bringing them home. Ukraine is also the cheapest place to adopt from, if you go independent. I'll get back as soon as I hear from our facilitator.

[redburds]

Hi Stacia,

Sure, feel free to PM me I will get back to you soon!

Redburds

[Letzlannie]

Cristin's website is a wonderful tool - I still refer to her links of families all the time.

I was at the NAC in June. On the psychologist's desk there were profiles of older kids which I was shown first. I can't blame them tho' for showing off the children that really need that extra push to be adopted. Most of us go in saying we want young children (I did) but maybe one family now and then might see a profile of one of the older or sick ones and change their minds - what an unexpected opportunity to a child who normally might never be looked at. After I glanced at those profiles, I was given a book and soon found my son. He also had several health conditions listed but was without any symptoms when I adopted him.

The folks at the NAC do want to see the children adopted but from a greater picture. Older and special needs are harder to place so must be given an opportunity to be viewed. If they only showed toddlers, then the adorable 7 year olds might never get a chance at a new life. I accepted that (yes, with a bit of frustration which I tried to hide) and looked at the kids I was shown and then asked to see others. My facilitator was very helpful in this.

Leslie

[NutmegW]

Stacia, how on earth can you know if you're getting one of those good facilitators, or one of those bad ones? This really scares me. Of course every organization who is offering Ukranian adoption services will say that they use very good facilitators.

[NutmegW]

Also, is there any way to be sure you will get the 30-day wait waived? Does that depend on great facilitators? Good bribes?

[wwjdmelissa]

My facilitator knew which cities would waive the 30 days. We wanted this one particular sibling group but she knew that the judge there didn't like Americans and wouldn't waive the 30 days so we choose to go to a different region.

[NutmegW]

If the 30 days is waived, then is the whole process over in 3 weeks and you are home?