[scared21]

Hello,

I'm sorry if this post isn't in the right place... I've just been struggling to find any form of support or information about adoption in the UK. I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant and have made the decision to put my baby up for adoption when he is born.

There's a little more background in the following thread:
So frightened

Anyway, my reason for posting here is that, like I said, I can't find very much informaton anywhere for (prospective) birth mothers in the UK or even much at all on the adoption process. My midwife said that she has passed my details on to Social Services, so hopefully they will be in touch soon... but can anyone help me out with what to expect? How exactly do you go about placing your baby for adoption? How much say will I have in the type of family that adopts him? What about Letterbox contact etc? Do babies always go into foster care before they are placed with their adoptive family?

So many questions, and I don't know where to find the answers. If anybody could help me out at all, I would be so grateful. Thank you, and sorry once again if this isn't the right place xxxxx

[cheri66]

I hope you are feeling better,I have read all of your posts and you definitly sound extremely depressed. I hope you are trying to find some help with your feelings, I know from experience that being pregnant and depressed can be a horrible existance and then add on the hormones and geeez can you feel lousy!! Have you thought about private adoption? Is there a reason why you are considering social services instead of finding your own adoptive parents for your child? My husband (who is from the UK) and I just had a baby boy who is now 5 mos old, we were told that it would probably kill me to have another (it took 4 years and 4 miscarriages to have our miracle, and 2 strokes after he was born) so we have decided to look at adoption for a little brother or sister for our son. I have researched adoption at length, and it seems that you would have a more hands on feeling and more options on the type of adoption that you want if you were to go thru a private adoption agency. There are also web sites that post families looking for children to adopt that you can look thru. Take it easy, and just relax...everything will work out exactly as it should!!

[scared21]

Hi Cherri, thanks for your reply. Unfortunately adoption doesn't work like that over here in the UK:

"As a legal condition, adoption is regulated by statutory provisions and administered through the courts in line with these principles. As a procedural matter, adoption is solely administered through adoption services and agencies approved by the Secretary of State. Therefore, private adoption is prohibited in the UK."

While I've been looking for information I have read alot about adoption in the US and in many ways I do wish that was available to me... I would love to be involved in choosing the right family for my baby etc, but unfortunatley that is not to be. So that's why I'm looking for someone to be able to tell me more about how it does work over here... I can't seem to find out very much at all!

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle... I hope adoption works out for you and you're able to find a brother or sister for your little one soon. Thanks for lending an ear.. it really helps to have people listen and care, stops me from feeling quite so alone anyway. Thanks again! xxxxx

[cheri66]

Just out of curiosity, have you tried to contact any US private adoption orgs to find out if it is possible to do it over here??

[Stevan]

Hi

The best thing you can do is contact your Local Authority's Adoption and Permenance team - you should find them sympathetic.
Whilst you don't have the same degree of participation in the adoption process as you would in the US your views will be taken into consideration and will be presented to the adoption panel which will makethe recommendation for your child's future. Letter box or even face to face contact are both common options for maintaining contact if that is what is agreed.

Just FYI I am an adoptive parent but I sit on two local authority panels as well

Good luck

Stevan