[lynn pateman]

looking for my birth father fred simms, in his 60,s in age could of been from the london area, where do i start with such a small amount of info....

[Robin Harritt]

Lynn

Where did you get that small amount of information from?

Robin

[lynn pateman]

hello thank you for replying... a very long story im afraid.. I traced my birth mother when i was 21 i am now 37... knocked on her door and was rejected, a bad way of me approching her i no, her husband does not no that she had a baby before she meet him. I wrote to her and said i was sorry for turning up like that, she said she done the best she could and that i was in the past, she was from a very strict irish family 25 and unmarried. I did not contact her again until 1995 on the birth of my dear daughter who was very ill on her birth the hospital wanted my family history so I wrote to her and said please would she tell me who my father was, at this stage she told her eldest daughter who wrote back to me telling me my fathers name FRED SIMMS and that he did not no of me, and all she knew was a rough age and that for whatever reason he was in prison in 1966. I so want to find him. I feel like part of me is missing.

[Robin Harritt]

Lynn

So have you had a look at your adoption file to see if there is any more information about him there? Was it an agency adoption or through a local authority social servises or was it a private adoption?

Robin

[lynn pateman]

hi, it was a social services adoption, yes I have seen papers but there is no info what so ever, I do believe b/mother knows more but is scared of backlash because of not telling him of my birth, and her husband not knowing what she had done, I find it all very hard to understand, and do realise peple do what they think is for the best, and i am sure she did her best, but i still want to no is that wrong.

[Robin Harritt]

No it is not wrong, if your father's name is on any paperwork connected with the adoption you right to know what it says. How long ago did you see the file and are you sure they showed you everything?

On the forms in the adoption file what did it say in the space where it says, name of father:....?

Have you applied to look at the court's records to see if there is anything there?

Robin

[Renda]

Lynn,

Hello, I too am an adoptee, and I can understand what you say, and the wish to know who both your parents are.

You asked if it was wrong to want to know the details of your father, well of course it isn't , its only natural to want to know.

I know sometimes it can cause problems for birth mothers when faced with the reality of person wanting to know their roots, but I firmly believe that it is your right, as it is all our rights to know where we came from, and even if this causes some discomfort to the birth parent , then this still has to be done. It can't always be easy for them but it is so important above all else that if a person is asking questions about who their father was then they have the right to that information, it is so fundamental, and who has the right to play god and withhold that information?

So you keep plugging away, and try of course to be sympathetic to your birth mother, maybe she will give you some more information, I hope so as that will help you so much.

Take care,

renda

[Robin Harritt]

There are only about 25 Fred Simms in the UK if you include Fredericks etc, only two that I can find that call themselves Fred on the Electoral Register but they are nowhere near London

One way would be to write to all of them, but I'd not advise that, you never know who is going to open the letter, you wouldn't want to course a family crisis in his current family, that wouldn't get you off to a very good start but then you know that.

Is there really nothing else to narrow it down? No idea what he did for a living?

Because of the legal requirement to try as best to find the father and seek his opinion before an adoption, it is unusual for no name and details to appear on records ( though it was often the wrong name ) they had to at least pretend they had looked.

Robin

[Robin Harritt]

Between Jan 1984 when death records were first computerised and Dec 2002 the last year available 5 Fred Simms 24 Frederick Simms died but they all apear to be people who would be well over 60 now, the youngest born 1929, Fred and Frederick have not been such popular names in recent years.

So he is most likely still amongst us somewhere.

[lynn pateman]

Thank you for getting back to me... Im sorry I have not replied earlier but I have been at work, I think my true way of tracing him is in the prison records but of course I have no way of looking, he was by all accounts in prison late 66/67,

lynn

[Robin Harritt]

Of course if he were still in prison he would not be on the electoral register!

You could try contacting

Bourne Trust
Lincoln House
1 - 3 Brixton Road
London SW9 6DE
Tel: 020 7582 6699
Fax: 020 7735 6077

Which provides counselling and support for prisoners, ex-offenders, and their
families. See if they are able to help at all.

If he were in prison for some major ofence, then there would likely have been newspaper covarage. You could check The Times Index at larger library near you main libraries often have microfilm of the newspaper as well. There are other indexes as well.

Robin