Adoption Forums®

Members List Photos Events Local Adoption Support Search Arcade Reviews Membership Upgrade
Welcome to the Forums.
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts.
Forum Categories

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-23-2013, 09:14 PM
aesullivan aesullivan is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4
Total Points: 2,013.74
Donate
Does age matter?

Hi - my husband and I are in the process of exploring transracial adoption options. I am 35 and he is 49....anyone out there experienced in adopting in their 40's? Are we going to face challenges with his age?...
Reply With Quote
Adoption Information
Looking to Adopt?
New Jersey
Click here to visit Douglas M. Pine, LLC
Douglas Pine represents adoptive families in every county throughout New Jersey. Mr Pine earned his reputation by providing personal attention to every adoption.
Douglas M. Pine, LLC
(973) 748-8887   Fax (973) 748-3999

  #2  
Old 01-23-2013, 10:51 PM
Guppy35's Avatar
Guppy35 Guppy35 is offline
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 79
Total Points: 3,673.72
Donate
I was 48 when our little guy showed up. I'd already raised three kids to adulthood.

The only thing that's been different this time around, beyond him being deaf, is that I don't get up off the floor nearly as fast as I did the first time around!

The advantages are being just a bit more relaxed about it all being older and 'wiser'
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-24-2013, 02:37 PM
becky's Avatar
becky becky is offline
Go Cards!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,564
Total Points: 34,130,938,591,699.07
Donate
I am 48 and my husband is 49. We have a 2 year old little girl adopted at birth. We also have 5 older children (3 adults, a 16 year old, and a 10 year old). I agree with PP, we are definitely older and wiser...but some days it just feels like we are 'older'

We had no problem being chosen by expectant mothers (we were matched 3 times...first two we didn't proceed due to various issues that arised). Our ages were never a problem.
__________________
Becky
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-25-2013, 06:13 AM
OakShannon's Avatar
OakShannon OakShannon is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,900
Total Points: 167,904.40
Donate
We were 37 and 46 when our son was placed with us as an infant. We adopted through foster care, and our ages did not matter in the slightest to the social workers who matched us. I think our wait was average given that we wanted a placement where we were likely to be able to adopt.

As it turns out, I think it's been a wonderful advantage. We're still young enough to have the energy to keep up with our son. We're financially settled enough that I was able to cut way back on work to have time with him. And I am much more patient than I was when I was younger. Our son can be quite challenging (he's also quite wonderful and I'm crazy about him, but no one would call him an easy kid!) so in my case, I'm a much better mother for him than I would have been in my 20's.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-25-2013, 12:58 PM
Magic_Hat's Avatar
Magic_Hat Magic_Hat is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,292
Total Points: 20,042.41
Donate
We adopted the first time when we were 39 and 41 and the second time when we were 41 and 43. The birth mothers that chose us were 25 and 16 years old and didn't seem to think we were too old so I think you'll be okay.
__________________
Mom to
born 5/21/07, adopted at 16 days old
born 4/20/09, adopted at 9 days old

I'm like this when I'm not like this
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:05 PM
loveajax loveajax is offline
Senior Member

Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,583
Total Points: 480,567.57
Donate
The only additional challenge is if you are adopting transracially, people may assume that you are the biological grandparents!

We are in the process of adopting a biracial baby from fc. We are 44 and 46...ouch! And for sure it is harder to get up off the floor....everything creaks! We also have a seven year old biracial dd.

Oh, and my (white) aunt whose grandson is biracial always gets asked if she is his adoptive mom! So you never know....people like trying to figure it out sometimes!

Best of luck to you!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:05 PM
Magic_Hat's Avatar
Magic_Hat Magic_Hat is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,292
Total Points: 20,042.41
Donate
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveajax
The only additional challenge is if you are adopting transracially, people may assume that you are the biological grandparents!

We are in the process of adopting a biracial baby from fc. We are 44 and 46...ouch! And for sure it is harder to get up off the floor....everything creaks! We also have a seven year old biracial dd.

Oh, and my (white) aunt whose grandson is biracial always gets asked if she is his adoptive mom! So you never know....people like trying to figure it out sometimes!

Best of luck to you!


Yes, meant to say I feel old as dirt right now. lol
And I've been mistaken for being my son's grandmother. I didn't think I looked *that* old!
__________________
Mom to
born 5/21/07, adopted at 16 days old
born 4/20/09, adopted at 9 days old

I'm like this when I'm not like this
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-25-2013, 07:40 PM
Guppy35's Avatar
Guppy35 Guppy35 is offline
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 79
Total Points: 3,673.72
Donate
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveajax
The only additional challenge is if you are adopting transracially, people may assume that you are the biological grandparents!

We are in the process of adopting a biracial baby from fc. We are 44 and 46...ouch! And for sure it is harder to get up off the floor....everything creaks! We also have a seven year old biracial dd.

Oh, and my (white) aunt whose grandson is biracial always gets asked if she is his adoptive mom! So you never know....people like trying to figure it out sometimes!

Best of luck to you!

My daughter is 26 and if we're out with her husband and her little brother, the assumption is she's mom and we're the grandparents.

Guess it just goes with the territory!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-27-2013, 07:43 PM
aesullivan aesullivan is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4
Total Points: 2,013.74
Donate
Thanks so much everyone!!! Definitely feeling better after hearing your stories. Wish us luck!!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Reply: 5.00


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:59 AM.