[momraine]

I was wondering if anyone else noticed that boys hair. I was also thinking that it might be construed as taking away his racial identity. However, most of the time I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really wanted his hair that way, and maybe her little girl is like one of my sisters who pulled anything we put in her hair out. No pony tails, no braids, no nothing. She would pull anything out of her hair in seconds. Since I don't know the people personally, I will hold off on judging and leave it to people who actually know them.

[nickchris]

I wonder how my mom did it working (outside of the home) full time, and at times 2 to 3 heads of girl hair, not counting her own? She did not know how to corn row/braid either. A style may last 2 days, based on the kid. We were all a little wild with our playing. lol I remember a elementary school pic, and my that morning freshly combed hair had one twist sticking out, edges all scattered. lol
I can see that Angie allows input form the kids that's good to a certain extent. Full freedom of choice with a toddler/preschooler? lol what a set up for issues. My boys will run if they see a brush or the lotion, that's what kids do (or at least mine). Yet they know it has to be done. Here's another thing when it comes to to parenting in my book. I am the mama, who makes the final decision. Just like clothes, I discuss hair bobs with dd, and I may give her choices for hair styles, 2 that I present to her. After all she is a recently turned 4, the little diva that she is, it would take forever if she called all of the shots.

[sbaglio]

Didn't Brad Pitt once say that they use Carol's Daughter products on Z's hair? They need to try a range, because what they're using is not working. I agree - her hair looks a right mess at times.

As for Maddox getting his hair bleached...who knows the motivation, but I see it more as a style thing, rather than anyone having abject feelings about his racial identity! That's a bit of a leap. If you've followed his since he was adopted by Angie, you'll see that he usually has his own hair color.

[Sleeplvr]

There's a certain age when they stop pulling the bows and barrettes out. My DD used to pull them out but she eventually stopped. I'm thinking Zahara is at that age. Just in terms of maintenance, keeping braids, twists or puffs just cuts down on the daily maintenance. It's easier to comb if it isn't loose and turns into a rats nest. At 4 years old my DD understands it takes longer to style her hair if it's been loose or freshly washed.

As for Maddox... I'm not buying the style thing. My DD's best bud at preschool is a CC girl with long, straight blonde hair. DD keeps asking me if her hair will be like that or can I do it like that. The way my DD talks about it I can see another parent giving in and bleaching the child's hair. So I have to reinforce that her hair is beautiful... the texture and the color.

[yehudit]

Please bear with me -- my knowledge about this family is (thankfully) limited. I read the article and looked at the picture. Honestly? I thought her hair looked conditioned and groomed, just not "done."

On one hand, yes they should be taking care of the girl's hair. And being in the public eye was also her choice as well as her husband's (I think). But you never know what's REALLY going on behind the scenes. I hate to think that people look at me and judge me for the way my kids look/behave all the time, though I'm sure some do. What if I just made the following signs:

He has autism
She wouldn't let me brush her hair today
4th outfit today; they keep getting dirty
I'm trying to teach him something
I'm choosing my battles
She needs a nap
Her hair is too short to braid

As for the oldest boy, I have no idea what's up with his hair but my guess is he likes it that way and it's either not worth the battle or that's the fashion in CA these days. I think it's cute. Generally, I give kids lots of freedom with their hair as long as they are willing and able to care for the style they choose. But then, I was attracted to my husband by his dredlocks (he's a white guy).

[sbaglio]

Originally Posted by Sleeplvr

As for Maddox... I'm not buying the style thing.

Well, unless Angie herself comes here on adoption.com and tells us what the deal is, I guess we'll never know LOL

[JRobot]

A comment on assumptions about gendered division of labor - no one is accusing Brad of not keeping up his kids' hair.

[yehudit]

JRobot, thanks for making that point. You are absolutely right.

But to give Brad a break, he may be clueless about girl stuff. My DH put thing 2 in a onsie and pair of tights once thinking it was pajamas .

[nickchris]

How did we get to sexism? or poor Angie? lol the woman is rich with options and resources.
Diminishing topics such as this. why? The issue here is a little Black girl, and how her hair is messy. Lets talk about judgment. Do you know of history, and how Blacks were/are viewed, that is one of the point made by the author of the article.
How many of you read or heard of CC parents cutting their Black child's hair because it became too much to deal with? How does said kid feels later on. I read of a Black adoptee teenager who discussed how she felt about her hair, being different, the extra effort to maintain it. I noted the young lady mentioned the comparison to who she was surrounded by, for her it was an issue.

[Nevada Jen]

I have to admit. My first thought when I read the article was. "OK and the blond haired Asian kid hanging off of her is OK?"

Either way, not my place to judge.

[SupaModel]

I'm late to the party but I will first say that I LOOOOOVE Angie! I ad agree that Z's hair can be done much better. Look at Mercy's (Madonna's daughter) hair. It is always on point! You can tell she definitely must have hired some AA stylist

I've know lots of BR kids who's mom was CC and they complain about how their mom's didnt know what to do with their hair. Heck I have adult BR friend and to this day she has NO CLUE how to style her hair. Its really about just knowing the texture and what to do.

When I was working as a hairstylist I would LOVE when a CC jewish, Italian etc... would come in with extra thicke curly hair. They would tell me oh my hair doesn't get straight. I told them oh honey trust me I can get it straight!!! Hahah... LOL

[Gwen72]

I take very good care of W's hair. I condition it with oil/water, comb it, then brush it every night. I picked him up from daycare the other day and his hair was a mess! He apparently had a great day wrestling, playing and doing crafts. I had to stop by the grocery store on the way home. This thread had me so scared that people would think that I didn't take good care of his hair that I put a hat on him!

[millie58]

I'm black and lousy with hair. Thank God I have all boys. Not that boys' hair is always neat but it's easier to keep short. I also dislike seeing moms looking like they stepped out of a magazine and kids looking a mess. Lucky for my boys, we all look a mess!! I get that Angie may not know how but she has the resources to hire someone with the knowledge. And let me just say I also LOVE Angie!!

[rredhead]

I really enjoy this post:
Thanks For Your Concern, But Zahara's Hair Will Be Fine - Zahara hair - Jezebel

And the comments are also great!

[nickchris]

I read similar blogs/articles. This article is from a natural hair perspective. I also have natural hair, but I am not political about my choice. First, styling very curly hair still needs attention. My natural hair needs MORE attention to avoid breakage.
Hair need attention period.
DDs hair will stay natural, she may even sport a fro with a head band, once in a while. However her hair will always start off well groomed. My mother would place my hair in a fro once in a while as a kid. Wearing a fro, the hair still needs to be moisturized, (more so) and placed in braids to protect the ends. So its not just the style issue or her hair "standing up" that I am discussing. The politically inclined natural hair Black women will go down the ashamed about our hair, trying to change it's texture to the White standard bout. Hair style acceptance in the work force and so on.

However..
Has a different slant when it's from a transracial perspective.
Be aware of the different views in the Black community,and realize there is a history/reason behind it all. Where do you fit in, where do your child fit in? Know the class level you are in, and visualize how your child will be viewed. Not you, your child.
Now back to maintenance:
Overall most Blacks I know/see are more progressive about healthy hair, and care of. You can tell this, by how many little Black girls are evident with tons of hair, long and full. The the hair is well cared for. We don't go down the terrible hair products of back when. The ones who still do are just not as enlightened.
My children are raised in the class level that we are in. For example, in my class level, hair styles are more conservative. Most of the moms I know do not place relaxers in their daughter's hair. Healthy hair is a priority. We also discuss/exchange natural hair products, how to keep the hair moisturized. Yes, our kids hair do get messed up during the day too. lol



And you know, really judging? welcome to my, and more importantly the Black child's world.

Originally Posted by rredhead

I really enjoy this post:
Thanks For Your Concern, But Zahara's Hair Will Be Fine - Zahara hair - Jezebel

And the comments are also great!