[nee18]

DH and I were shopping yesterday and a woman came up to us to say how cute our son is (after she asked if he was our son or not). She proceeded to compliment his eyes and then followed it up with how she "just loves little black babies" and "black babies are just so much cuter than white babies." Ugh!! Now, don't get me wrong, I think my son is the most beautiful child on the planet, like all parents do, but I don't think black babies are, as a whole, cuter than white babies. We want to raise our son to be proud of his skin color, but also to understand that no skin color is better than any other skin color. I had no idea how to respond to her. I didn't even say anything to her-just stared at her with my mouth hanging open. What would you have said? Every time I think I'm prepared for the next ignorant comment I could get from someone, someone whips out a new one that totally catches me off-guard. I'm sure I'll here this comment again in the future, though, so figured I should try to be better prepared for the next time.

[sbaglio]

Originally Posted by nee18

What would you have said?

Just "Thanks."

Personally, I think you may be reading too much into it. She wasn't insulting your baby, and her opinions are her own. I doubt that your child hearing such a comment would have a negative effect on him. People have their preferences - at least it wasn't a negative one!

[sugarandspice697]

I would have said, "thank you very much, she is pretty!".

I didn't see that situation as ignorant at all. If she had said, "boys are so much cuter than girls!", would you think she's sexist? Of course not!

At least she said something positive about your son...

[SupaModel]

I have actually heard ppl say that before too. I have also heard the BR kids are the cutest out of all kids. I don't know what to say about that. I guess it's all personal opinions. I've see cute babies of all races and I have also seems some ugly ones too. It's funny now that I think about it I think of people who say ALL babies a cute no matter what. I strongly disagree that statement. Again personal opinions.

[MamaS]

Have you ever seen newborn white babies? They are all red and squashed and bald!
On the other hand black babies -- AND Hispanic babies -- are not red, and usually have fabulous heads of dark hair!
From a purely objective view, the lady was right.
I love Spiderman fiercely, but when he was born he looked like a small, angry Homer Simpson! (He did grow up real cute - now he looks like a young Tom Cruise!)

[joskids]

I've seen attractive and unattractive infants of all races. But I've gotta say . . . I happen to prefer babies whose faces have "character" and infants with hair. Because some CC babies are so pale and bald, I don't happen to think they're as attractive as babies with some color in their faces and curls all over their heads.

I wouldn't take her comment too personally. But I can see where you could find it "odd".

[Cjmeck]

Sounds like she was just trying to show you that you adopting a "black baby" was okay in her book, lol. Some people are just sooooo out to show that they aren't racist that they go to this other extreme that is ridiculous. Yes, I've had similiar comments; right in front of my CC son! I have the 2 cutest kids in the whole entire world, just ask my DH But when people compliment one over the other that's when I lose it... I don't know what to say really, I just vent on the internet like you when its over.

[Sleeplvr]

I've gotten that same comment about my babies. The reason being black babies have color and usually have a head full of hair.

I don't think parents ought to fish for compliments about their baby. It puts the other person on the spot. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

As a rule all babies are beautiful even if they are actually ugly.

[KarynB]

Originally Posted by MamaS

Have you ever seen newborn white babies? They are all red and squashed and bald!
On the other hand black babies -- AND Hispanic babies -- are not red, and usually have fabulous heads of dark hair!
From a purely objective view, the lady was right.
I love Spiderman fiercely, but when he was born he looked like a small, angry Homer Simpson! (He did grow up real cute - now he looks like a young Tom Cruise!)

LOL! Ok, this made me laugh out loud!!!! Mainly because that's what I was thinking when I first read the OP - hmm...I haven't seen too many "cute" CC newborns! (including my own!)

Sorry nee - maybe not what you were looking for, but I agree with Fadzi - at least it wasn't negative! I've seen stuff on the Guat boards for example talking about how cute Guat babies, personally I think South African babes have the most beautiful features, etc, so to me this isn't any different, you know?

[Magic_Hat]

My best friend says the same thing. She thinks white babies look sickly.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by KarynB

I've seen stuff on the Guat boards for example talking about how cute Guat babies

That's because Guatemalan babies are cute.

signed,
a totally unbiased mom...with one from Guatemala.

but really....even if i have an opinion of what race babies are the cutest...... I'D NEVER SAY IT TO A STRANGER! lol. i agree, babies are cute. even ugly babies are cute.

[buttascotchbaby]

Slightly OT here but this thread made me think of it. When my (biracial) son was born I thought he was THE most beautiful baby I had EVER seen I look back at those pics now of us in the hospital... he was all purple, had very little hair and had one eyebrow! LOL Of course he is beautiful now, 13 years later...

I DO understand where the OP is coming from and I do think that it is a little bit of an icky thing to say but most likely based in a positive; she was trying to be nice

I have taken university level classes on multi culturalism/multi ethnicity, where we discussed similar issues, especially the comment about biracial babies being the cutest and it is considered a very racist thing to say. I have always been a little unclear as to WHY...(especially when my son IS -the cutest & biracial ) but there you have it.

[sbaglio]

Few babies are cute at birth, and I've seen my share. They are ALL banged up and look a mess, unless they were born by C-section, and then they look a tad better. As for which race/ethnicity looks cutest? Who knows? It's all in the eye of the beholder.

[kirbystarcat]

Funny, I swear I have had the same nosey lady tell me "Hispanic babies are the cutest" and "Asian babies are the cutest." I understand where you are coming from though. It kind of makes you feel icky when you hear people say that.

[kirbystarcat]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

That's because Guatemalan babies are cute.

signed,
a totally unbiased mom...with one from Guatemala.

LOL, yes they most certainly ARE!!!!