[ChromaKelly]

That might seem like a weird question, let me explain.
My DDs are 4 yrs old. They know that Caleb is brown, he is brown like other brown people we know/see/people on TV, etc. However, I haven't really said he is black, and that we call brown people, but not all brown people (i.e. Middle Eastern, other shades of brown) "black".
I don't know if it would confuse them or not.

[OakShannon]

That's a good question. We use such subtle cues sometimes to "read" someone's race that I think it is hard for a preschooler to understand what we are talking about. They are so literal!

I use both. I refer to David and our friends as Black or African American and I also talk about him having brown skin. (Knowing that most of what I'm talking about is going over his head right now!) I think if we use the words naturally, and explain in an age appropriate way when it comes up, they will eventually sort out what it means.

ETA - a couple of book suggestions. Do you have Shades of Black? I know that book was mentioned on another thread recently, but I don't remember if you chimed in . . . That book uses Black to mean race rather than the color and shows all the variations in what "Black" can look like. Also The Colors of Us by Karen Katz. We read both - David asks for them all the time. (I think he likes the pictures.) We match his color and mommys' colors (which are slightly different) and our friends, etc as we read the books. It's a very natural way of talking about skin color and labels.

[LeighM]

I would use both terms. If he is bi-racial I would include the other ethnic group in the conversations.

We had always talked to our daughter about he ethnic heritage. In fact at the age of 4 around Thanksgiving I went to her teacher and explained that S is part NA. I told the teacher if the other kids tell her she is lying I expected them to help her out. Well, the teacher failed. S was told she was "just black". I was so upset. The main reason is she thought I lied to her. It has just been the last few months that she has actually talked about being part native.

As parents we try to set the ground work. But one comment from a peer or another grown up can distroy what we have worked so hard to teach our children.

[KarynB]

Hey Chroma,

This is a good question, and something we had a few questions around as well when DS was younger. First, I should say we are in Canada, so don't even have the fall back "African American" title to use Anyways, we used to use the term "brown" as well when our son was young, I wasn't familiar with just using the word "Black" to describe an entire race, and honestly it just sounded so harsh to me!

Anyways, I think when he was in grade one we went to parent-teacher interviews, and DS used the term "Brown" and his teacher was actually quite rude (he was caucasian) and admonished us for not using "correct terminology". At first I was quite ticked, but as usual in these situations realized he did have a point. Anyways, as I did more reading and talking with other adults in the Black community I became much more comfortable with the term and even learned how it is used as a term of pride, and have since introduced it to our son as such. So, while his skin is technically brown, he is not a member of the "brown race" but of the "Black race" and I make sure I let him know how proud he should be of that, and how proud we are that he is our son, etc. When he was little I also made sure I explained how my skin is light brown but I am a member of the Native/Acadian race, and daddys skin is...well, you get the picture!

[ChromaKelly]

Thank you for your input, it really helps. We did get "The Color of Us" from the library and the girls really liked it, I should buy that, along with "Shades of Black". That would probably help introduce the concept.

I grew up in a primarily AA area most of my life, and most AA's referred to themselves as "black". Caleb's birthmom used black too, so it makes me a little more comfortable using black.

[BethanyB]

I don't know too many AA people who are actually black in color. It is a term to describe AA people. I know some black people who do not like the term AA. I call my kids black. I use AA online as it's shorter and easier to type. The first few times I used the word black in reference to my kids, they would say, "I'm not black, I'm brown." And of course they said that because that is how simplistic they interpreted it. I went on to explain to them that some people with brown skin are referred to as black. Now they call themselves black. It just is now.

Black is beautiful in our house. Nothing harsh about it.

[millie58]

I started when L, who is now 11, was 9. His birth name was Brown and his biomom told him that's what he was. Only problem is one brother has different last name and his skin color is brown. My 2 little ones are medium brown and caramel colored. with my 2 youngest: J is color of light chocolate and he looks like birth dad and B is cream colored and looks like birth mom. They've said: "B is White like bio mom and J is black like bio dad". I've had to explain that sisters and brothers are the same race and there's nothing wrong with being black. On the flip side, I had a BR teen a few years ago: CC/AA. Both his bio sisters were Hispanic/CC. He said he was: "Black, spanish and a little white". I tell my kids to be proud of who they are. I have been known to sing James Brown's: "Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud".

[rredhead]

My son is 3-1/2. If we say something like, "Jack is black" anywhere near Jack, and he's paying attention, he will tell us that he is NOT black, he's BROWN.

For him, it's about the literal color. From what I've read, sometime around age 5 he'll understand from context that some brown people are called black. I mean, we've told him that, but he vehemently disagrees.

Another great book is All the Colors of the Earth. It's beautiful!

[millie58]

Thanks, rredhead!! I'll have to get that book.

[ocracoke]

If I tried to tell my daughter (who is 4.5 years now) that she is black she would correct me -- with a long explanation of needing to learn my colors, I am sure. She insists that she is brown. And she is right. Unfortunately she also insists that I am yellow. I tired to see if I could be pink or white (yellow just makes me think I must look ill) but she tells me that I am yellow so I should say I am yellow.

Samantha

[CubanaYogini]

Day 1. We use the book "Shades of Black."

Read the article from Newsweek that I just posted.

[nickchris]

Small kids are pretty concrete, but they will get the concept eventually.
When I read Shades of Black to DD (recently turned 4) she laughs, and say so, and so is not Black, he's yellow and so on. She relates to the skin tone, very concrete.
I have used the book for all of my kids to show how in our little family alone we have varied skin tones/hair texture, but we are still a Black family. We then have fun asking her so what is big ds and so on. No big pressure, but I do read the book to her often,and the board book stays in her basket of books in her room.

[Bunnygirl]

I still remember being a little kid and overhearing someone say that my neighborhood had a lot of "colored" people in it (this was the polite terminology then, which I guess gives you an idea of my age, LOL). I LITERALLY spent weeks (months?) at my window hoping to spot one because I assumed that "colored" meant colors like in the big box of crayons! I got a little bit optimistic whenever I saw someone in a varying shade of brown but none of the purple, green or blue people ever appeared. I was terribly disappointed because I really, really, really looked forward to seeing one of these people (sort of like a birdwatcher catching sight of a rare bird). Even a full year later I remember that I still kind of kept an eye open, just in case.

It was a real letdown when I learned that "colored" just meant "brown" because there were plenty of darker-skinned people around & they didn't seem any more exciting than the white people did.

[MB80sgirl]

Originally Posted by Bunnygirl

I still remember being a little kid and overhearing someone say that my neighborhood had a lot of "colored" people in it (this was the polite terminology then, which I guess gives you an idea of my age, LOL). I LITERALLY spent weeks (months?) at my window hoping to spot one because I assumed that "colored" meant colors like in the big box of crayons! I got a little bit optimistic whenever I saw someone in a varying shade of brown but none of the purple, green or blue people ever appeared. I was terribly disappointed because I really, really, really looked forward to seeing one of these people (sort of like a birdwatcher catching sight of a rare bird). Even a full year later I remember that I still kind of kept an eye open, just in case.

It was a real letdown when I learned that "colored" just meant "brown" because there were plenty of darker-skinned people around & they didn't seem any more exciting than the white people did.

That is funny! I saw a book called "Colored Water" that's about white kids in the 50s or 60s who want to drink from the "colored" fountain because they think the water is colorful. They learn what it really is & also learn about racism.

[joskids]

I asked our (biracial) 3-1/2 year old today what color she is and she said "black". I thought we must be doing well with the race issue in our family seeing as we're an interracial family and my children are being raised in a very multiracial community, church, etc. But then I asked her what color mommy is and she said "black." I'm a CC redhead. So it appears we just need to work a little harder on learning our colors.

We also have 3 older black (and biracial) children. Honestly, I have no idea when we introduced "black" but I do know they are all very proud of their "blackness". They don't call themselves brown, they say they are black. Our fairest skinned child is particularly strong in stressing that he is black. My DH (also black) and I think it's because he's the child whose ethnicity is much more vague. He is actually AA, CC and NA and looks Greek or Hispanic or Middle-Eastern. We wonder if maybe kids at school have told him he doesn't look black which is why he stresses it so much.