[oceanica]

I am getting very frustrated!! My daughter Athena is so beautiful and I just can't seem to do anything to make her hair look right! She is 13 months. You saw the braids I did... not too good! I can get it combed and put it in a puff or two but many times she won't even let me part it right. About the easiest thing I can do is pull it all back into a single puff, but I'm not thrilled with that one either. It sticks out on the sides and then is kind of thin lower down so it doesn't really look right when just left alone. She pulls off all hair bands nowadays and small barrettes can end up in her mouth.
I just can't seem to do anything with her hair! Cornrows and so on are out of the question.
I am so embarrassed to be a sucky mom that lets her girl go around with messy looking hair. Am I expecting too much of myself or her?
I have tried twists with two strands and they come out really tiny/thin and don't look right either.
I googled and went on youtube but haven't found anything too helpful yet. Most things are for older toddlers and kids that can sit still for more than 30 seconds.
Anyone know of any easy styles or websites that I can go too? So far I think I am flunking at the first simple task as a transracial mom.

[nickchris]

Personally growing up in a home with all girls. At her age I would not sweat it, no need for elaborate styles. If she pulls stuff out.. she is a baby. :-)
Sometimes baby niece (20 months) comes by for a visit with only half a head done, one side in cornrows, and the other in a puff. Baby niece has tons of hair.. and need it somewhat contained. She tells mom.. no no. Sometimes I will brush and moisturize the other side.. so mom can finish the cornrows later on. ( she does not give auntie as much lip. ;-) ) Other times she sports 4 big puffs, with a few cornrows as a bang.
The trick is to keep up the hair brushing and what have you. Starts off with the simple styles as you have, such as the puffs. Add on as she gets older, more hair, less baby hair,thicker hair. She will be used to you styling her hair, and while she will be a typical toddler. It gets better down the road. My time with dd is much nicer now that she is older, more of a bonding time. She is also a diva, and like her hair doo dads.
Another thing I never learned to braid or cornrow.. so my sisters does these styles when they have time. DD age 3.5 usually sports the puff/box braids styles... then I do random box braids for sleep time.

[Quesita]

No words of wisdom on hairstyling. But she is so beautiful. Don't stress it. She is 13 months old!

[Cjmeck]

Savannah is almost 20 months and I cannot manage more than 2 puffs. One puff is finally starting to look cute, thank goodness as I don't have to worry about parting. She won't keep hairbands on her head. I do have luck with small barretts however. I just make sure to remove them at naptime so she doesn't put them in her mouth. Also, I can pretty much only manage to part her hair when she is seated in her highchair, eating something like a cookie, while watching cartoons. LOL, its quite a production, really! I wouldn't worry about braiding at this age. Just attempt to detangle/moisturize, and add a barrett when out in public. That is a successful toddler hairday at our house! Oh, and I LOVE that picture of her-she's beautiful!

[sbaglio]

I would suggest that you forget about doing elaborate styles until she is more patient. Right now just get her used to the process. Sit her down, give her some toys or books to pay with/read, maybe some Cheerios to munch on, and go for it.

What I found was that my daughter did much better when I used a detangler (lots of it), so the combing didn't hurt as much, or at all. The combing and brushing are key - a wide toothed comb and detangler are your friends LOL! The puffs and any other hairstyle won't look cute if the hair is not manageable.

Another problem we had when my daughter was much younger was the fact that her hair was shorter at the back, and longer on top. We'd just do the pigtail on top, and comb back the sides! Again, I think that getting A used to the process is more important. As she is really young, so it will be a while before she understands that she needs to have her hair done.

[ocracoke]

I would say to enjoy the time that you can do head bands and puffs and be done with it!!! My daughter was 21 months when she came home and it was another 9 months before I started trying anything other then a puff or headband on her head. And when I did do more she had a movie and a snack and could only sit still for 10 minutes. (at almost 2.5 years old). If you want to try something more stat with assymetical puffs. That way people won't notice bad parts. Do 3 randomly placed puffs on her head. Then to get her use to you messing with her hair, braid those puffs later in the day. My daughter is still a moving target when we do hair and she is 4.5 years old now. And I have definitely taken her out in public with half done hair. I care more then she does. And let other people make comments, I don't care. She is loved and cared for and healthy (well right now she is sick, but in general). There are days I would kill to be able to just do a headband or puff these days. Enjoy it!

Samantha

[Sleeplvr]

She doesn't have enough hair yet for braids so don't worry about it. My DD didn't have a decent amount of hair for a puff until she was 2 years old. We moisturized and slapped a bow on the top or the side of her head. Daily combing and brushing is the goal right now... if you don't comb daily her scalp will stay sensitive and she won't be able to tolerate you combing it when she's older.

FWIW...I'm black and do not know how to cornrow. My mother didn't know how and neither did either of my grandmothers... I can braid hair but have a limit on the number of braids that I am willing to do. Any thing over a set number I will take her to the professionals or the Aunties. My DD is 4 years old and very particular about how her hair looks. She doesn't want to leave the house with "crazy hair" and crazy hair is whatever her definition happens to be that day.

[oceanica]

I found this article... I'm not sure how old it is but I almost sniffled a little at the end. Just wanted you all to see it too.

Adoption - Adoptive Families

PS thank you everyone who replied! I really appreciate the input.
I stopped worrying so much about it. Mainly I just didn't want people who see her to think that her hair isn't cared for.

[1HappyMama]

Your daughter is beautiful! I have two AA little girls (1 and 3) and took them to a local beauty shop for AA women. I thought that they might trim the girls' hair, but she put it in poms like I do, and told me to bring them back in a few years. I asked about braiding the hair. She said that it really depends on the texture and strength of the hair. My girls both have good, strong hair, but it is so curly that we would have to do something to soften the curls first, but not for a couple of years. Just as caucasian hair has different textures and thicknesses, so does AA.

Hope this helps, as I struggle along with you!

[sugarandspice697]

I would just stick to the puffs because she is way to young to sit still for the regular hairstyles.

I wouldn't recommend you take her to a salon until she is about 5-7 years old because she will probably not sit in a chair for many hours that a fancy hairstyle requires.

Sleeplvr: I'm also AA and I can't do a single cornrow to save my life. DP often jokes that she's glad Julia has straight hair because I would spend hours doing a simple hairstyle!

[Magic_Hat]

She's so cute!

[bevy]

what about just a couple of box braids starting at the top and then add a few beads and leave it puffy at the back? Once you have the hair in the box, you just have to braid, no cornrows involved! My girlfriend has 3 adopted daughers and thats all she ever does. The youngest has been getting them since she had enough hair! I wish I could post a pic of them so you could see.

[CubanaYogini]

DD is also 13 mo. I gave up on more than a couple of puffs as she was becoming hysterical. I trimmed her hair so that she didn't look like Don King (her hair was long on top and short on the sides and back). Now I stick with hairbands (if she will leave them in) or barrettes.

[BethanyB]

I did puffs and cornrows in the front for the longest time. I could not manage to do cornrows throughout the whole head because my DD has very uneven hair. She was born with a full head of hair and then all of the hair around the sides and back fell out. She had a mohawk for a while. LOL! When she turned three I found a salon that would do her hair. They did cornrows and braids and added a little bit on for length. She looked really cute. I would do puffs inbetween braiding. Now since it has been summer, I have not been paying to have it braided and I am trying some new stuff myself.

I found videos on youtube that show you how to do twists and other styles so I have been practicing that. I twisted my DD's hair today and it looked pretty cute.

For now I agree, you can stick with simple.

[mondk]

No advice, but I have this thing for baby feet and toes...hers are very munchable looking. I always munch on Joshie's toes...Athena has the cutest toes!

Blessings, Michelle