[Saya]

So Anabel at 3 is finally discovering the whole Disney princess phenomenon (I was hoping to hide her from it indefinitely - oh well). And the first princess she has decided to glam on for some reason is - Cinderella. I was hoping for someone 1) less blond, 2) less in need of help from those around her, and 3) less obsessed with princes. Mulan would have been great, but Cinderella it is.

So I'm not a big fan - I don't like the message for girls that a lot of the Disney princess movies give, but beyond that there's the race/standard of beauty thing. I feel like this could be the start of her realizing that much of this country has a blond-hair blue-eyed CC standard of beauty, and while I know that will happen eventually, I really don't want it to start this soon. There definitely seems to be a racial hierarchy about the princesses when I've seen older girls play, with the CC princesses like Belle and Cinderella at the top and Mulan and Pocahantas at the bottom, you know? I'm just feeling very weird and protective about it. Have any of you who are the parents of girls who aren't CC felt this way when/if they started on the princess thing? How have you approached it?

[MamaS]

Try to figure out "Why" she chose Cinderella. While the "blonde and helpless" jumps out at you, it could be something else for your daughter. Like, she has all those pets - horse, dog, birds, mice, etc.
My oldest daughter fell for Belle because "she can read" and my youngest loved Jasmine because "she had her very own tiger".
Pink Princess has been a devotee of Sleeping Beauty because she had a pink dress (of course) but right now Pink Princess loves Ariel -- because she can swim with her face underwater! Pink Princess is having trouble with that in her swimming lessons.

[BethanyB]

Thank goodness my daughter is a tom boy. LOL! In all seriousness, I share your same concerns. I honesty do not allow the princess' in my home. Not that I have banned them but we rarely go into the Disney store and when we do, if my DD points to something I just say not today honey. I don't give her the impression that something is wrong, but I'm trying to keep it out of the house. She has never asked for anything in the way of Princess' so right now I'm good.

I'm anxiously awaiting the new black princess. For Christmas I did get the new Tinker Bell movie as they have a black fairy now. I also bought the doll so I try to find other options instead of the princess.

[CubanaYogini]

I dislike the Princesses too, but I am an advocate of child-led education and play. In my case my daughter is now only 10 months, but I think that I would allow her to play the princess of her choice while having a conversation with her about my feelings about the princesses and why I personally don't like them.

My niece is obsessed with everything Barbie and that is what I have done with her. It's also what I do with my son when he begs me to read a book that I seriously dislike because of its message.

I want them to feel free to explore what they like, but I am honest with them about how I am feeling about it. I find that kids tend to want that which is forbidden even more.

[BeckyS]

I was a bit apprehensive on the princess thing too, but allowed my dd to have the movies and dressess and whatnot. She's 7 now and her princess phase is long gone....but I do remember the reason she liked Cinderella - she liked the blue dress . She told me the other day that she wants to keep her brown skin but have straight blond hair - when I asked her why, she said because it's faster to do. I reminded her that while it may be faster, it has to be done every day and she thought that would also be a bummer. I'm super excited for Disney's new black princess coming out this year.

[shellers]

I know that I will never be able to avoid the princess thing with my 2 month old daughter- my niece who is 4 is obsessed with everything having to do with princesses and Barbies. Until recently Ariel was my neices's favorite because of the swimming, now her favorite is Pocohantas.
While waiting for dd I bought my niece some aa Barbies and more toys feautring Jasmine and Pocohontas. She will be recieving toys featuring the new black princess once they are available.
My dd shares a name with one of the princesses too, which my neice think is the best thing ever.

[ocracoke]

My daughter's favorite is definitely Cinderella and it drives me nuts. Why Cinderella? Because she is beautiful. Because she is blonde (yellow hair as my daughter calls it). Because she has straight hair -- which my daughter might kill for. And she is 4. So I limit it. Sure she can watch the movie -- just not every time. And I suggest Pocohontas and Mulan a lot these days. And we talk about how strong and smart they are. And how caring and sensitive they are. And my daughter pointed out to me this weekend as we were braiding her hair that she has hair just like Pocohontas -- not true (but with the microbraids I can see the connection) but at least she said it with a smile when she realized how beautiful Pocohontas was with long black hair. I want my daughter to learn about being smart and strong and doing things for herself and not just about waiting for her prince (as in the Shrek 3 movie -- "Ladies, assume the position.").

I am right there with you Saya.

Samantha

[kerriv]

My now 8 year old came home 11 months ago (from Ethiopia). After being here a few months, she caught the princess bug. I am also not a fan so I got Princess Diaries and we've been watching them. Still a white princess and she does straighten her hair but she's more normal and less perfect. Medina is very much a girly girl and loves all the pretty dresses that the princesses wear. For her, it's not about skin color at all.

[yehudit]

Yes, Disney has done a fabulous job at marketing their princesses. While I share your concerns about our daughters and their images of beauty, I also think that society has expanded quite a lot on that since I was a kid in the 70s and 80s. I remember reading Seventeen and there was not a brunette to be found, certainly not one with brown eyes. And Pocahontas etc. did not yet exist. Now we have stunning models who are AA, Hispanic, etc.

I think Disney is more a refelction of society, and I think it's cool that they have expanded their notions of women and race. Just not as quickly as we'd like

[SHD]

I too was concerned with the image the princesses projected. When I was dd's age I was so girly girl, I loved all that dressing up, makeup, beehive hairdo, etc. When dd was 3 years old I steared her towards the darker skinned princesses. Her first costume was Jasmine and over the past three years she has accumulated Mulan and Pocahontas. She still loves the "blonde" princesses but I've come to realize, like the others, it's all about the pink and the frufru. I figure no harm no foul. She still loves the princesses at age six but has since gravitated towards High School Musical. She realizes she looks more like Gabriella but she loves Sharpay, reason being...PINK.

I'm proud to also say she is one of the biggest Spiderman fans the world has ever seen. She even went so far as to have Spidey be the theme of her fifth birthday party. Her daddy even got her a Spiderman bicycle that she proudly rides around town. I don't think that the "I need a man to be someone" has resiginated with her.

Samantha my dd also refers to blonde hair as "yellow." Kids are so funny how they call it like they see it. DD is multi-racial and she'll tell you in a minute she's six colors.

[Clare'sMom]

My oldest 5 yr old daughters Loves Cinderella... I'm not a fan of the blonde hair, blue eyed, tiny waist thing. I guess neither is she, it's the blue dress and the mice that my daughter fell in love with. I bought her the whole Cinderella costume for Halloween dress, shoes, gloves, wig and all. She loved it and wears it at least 5 days a week. However she refused to wear the wig, she said it looked stupid... go figure.

My middle 5 yr. old Loves Pocahontas. The world revolves around her! She likes her because of her hair (Clare was going through chemo at the time and had no hair, she wanted Pocahontas hair) and she loves the fact that she never wears shoes.

My 8 yr. old Loves Aroura (Sleeping Beauty) She wears pink, she has long yellow hair and there is a dragon in her movie.... I can relate, I have dark brown hair and when I was six I cut off ALL my hair so it would grow back blonde like my favorite Aunts hair…. I bought her a long blonde play wig, she also thinks it looks stupid and doesn't wear it…. My three yr. old son has been known to show up in it from time to time…

My Youngest 5 yr. old loves Dora she talks and has pets…. She could care less about princess….

My 10 & 14 yr. olds are Barbie girls they love to play together…...

I felt your pain..... and then realized I was making something out of the "Look" of the princess than my girls never saw. They are in love with the princess/pretty doll idea. They are all very girlie and there is nothing more girlie than a princess or a Barbie……

I had tons of Barbies as a girl. I Just Loved to Play With Them…..

[BethanyB]

Barbies come in different colors though and the Disney princess' do not. I just don't get why it took all of these years to have a black princess? Heck, I'm still waiting...

[julie23]

after raising three fair skinned, blue eyed girls.... all with light brown hair.... i had honestly, never paid much attention to the princess thing.... they loved cinderella... and aurora... and i bought all the princess stuff...

but just two months ago, i put a new pair of pink princess pj's on our baby... a beautiful little dark skinned, dark eyed, dark haired hispanic one year old baby girl.... and honestly, i was stunned at my reaction...

there she was... in pink pj's ... spattered with pictures of a very very blonde, blue eyed, pale princess... and i was horrified...

i told hubby, no more blonde princess stuff.... we are switching to jasmine and mulan.... oddly, you can't really find that much of those princesses...

anyhow... no matter what i do, i suspect she will fall in love with the princess of her choice...

i just found it kind of interesting that the princess thing didn't bother me at all for the first three girls... who could see their own faces in the disney princesses... you know?

[GDSinPA]

Originally Posted by julie23

anyhow... no matter what i do, i suspect she will fall in love with the princess of her choice...

I'm not so sure we don't have more influence over this than we realize. People choose what societies standards say they should choose, and if we as parents work to thwart that by providing positive role models of color, both in media and real life, our kids are not destined to see blond and fair skin as the beauty standard. Does that make sense?

This might be a good time to link to this video again...

A Girl Like Me

[rredhead]

Disney princesses:
Snow White
Sleeping Beauty (aka Aurora)
Cinderella
Ariel (aka The Little Mermaid)
Belle (Beauty)

All of them are white. However, of the 5, only 2 are blonde hair/blue eyed.

Jasmine is Arab.
Pocahontas is Native American.
Mulan is NOT a princess! But Disney sometimes markets her as such anyway. She's Chinese.
Esmerelda isn't a princess, and Disney apparently wants to forget they even made The Hunchback of Notre Dame. However, she is Gypsy/Roma, and is dark-skinned.
This fall, we will see Tiana, the first "African American" Disney princess, in The Princess and the Frog.