[momto2boyz]

Hi,
I have 4 children - all adopted and all of different races. My baby girl came home from Ethiopia four months ago and is 18 months old. My children have participated in 'mommy and me' and kindergym gymnastics classes for 3 years at the same gym and for the past year with the same coaches. That's the background.
Here's the problem. Baby girl started the 'mommy and me' classes with her sister within a week of coming home. A couple of weeks after she started, a mom in the class made a comment about my daughter and the mom and one coach laughed hysterically. I wasn't really paying attention and the mom kind of appologized and I said I wasn't paying attention and the situation was over. About six weeks later, the coach made the same comment and laughed when my daughter came to her station to work on rolls. I just walked my girls away and didn't say anything. Last week, the coach did the same thing. The comment is one I had never heard (mom of 4 - don't get out much!) so I googled it today. I found the song that it came from and was appalled. The song is very sexualizing of black women and apparently created a ton of controversy when used in a TV ad for a national fast food chain.
Even before looking up the comment, I knew the coach was basically commenting on either Baby Girl's race or appearance. Baby Girl is the only black child in this class but there are several non-caucasian children.
So, how do I handle this? I don't tolerate racist comments from anyone - I certainly don't want to pay for them.
Thanks,
Annette

[keekee1006]

Are there any other coaches? I would speak to the coach's boss about the situation and depending on the response that is given would determine if I stayed or left. Is this the only place that offers the classes near you?

[sugarandspice697]

I would speak to the coach first and tell her how I feel. If this doesn't work, tell her/his boss.

[oceanica]

I am curious as to what the comment/saying is?

[txwannabemom]

wth are they commenting about?

(I can see I am mad FOR you)

And either way, I'd formally complain and request the money back.

You didn't sign baby girl up for her to be commented about or laughed at. No matter what the intention is, or halfhearted apology. If the coach isn't going to stick to gymnastics, you can find a better environment for baby girl.

[millie58]

I think I know what was said. wow!! Definitely, go to a manager and demand your money back.

[MB80sgirl]

Originally Posted by oceanica

I am curious as to what the comment/saying is?

I'm curious too.

[Prettyboicris]

I don't know if I picked up on what exactly was said but I am still upset about this situation on the sheer moral of it all!

[ChromaKelly]

That's awful! No matter what the comment is, if the coach is laughing every time your DD comes up, that's bad enough in my book. I would say something. Honestly, I'm not sure if I would go right to him or to the supervisor. Either way, something needs to be said. Not right!

[momto2boyz]

The support is really helpful. I don't want to over-react, but I'm not letting anyone laugh at my baby.
The comment that has been made is 'baby got back' followed by lots of laughter by the coach and one mother - no one else laughs. I had no idea what it meant but after the 3rd time it came up (in a four month period) I looked it up. Of course, even without seeing the lyrics of the song, I knew they were laughing at MY baby. The strange thing is that we'll go 6 weeks or so between comments. About a month ago, I made a point of discussing with both coaches the fact that Baby Girl has an imbilical hernia that is very noticable and can make her look a little unproportioned at times. I thought that maybe if they realized there was a medical condition, the one coach could stop making comments on appearance. Obviously that didn't work!
I've been debating with myself whether to go to the coach first or straight to the owner. I was planning on dropping the classes/gym in the fall anyway and focusing on acrobatics - which has way better coaching. So I'm leaning toward dropping now, with an explanation to the owner.

[bajj]

I just looked up the lyrics to that song. I would DEFINITELY let the owner know, in writing and in person. That is very demeaning to ANYONE and then to say it about an 18 month old???

Yes, quit that class. Be sure to let the owner know which coach said it and also take a copy of the lyrics, too. It's wrong on so many levels. I'm so sorry you experienced this!

[sbaglio]

There is obviously something very wrong with an adult who works with kids and finds ridiculing them to be acceptable. If that had been my child, the instructor would have been on a job search by now. In NO way is that acceptable. No way, no how.

[dpen6]

Originally Posted by sbaglio

There is obviously something very wrong with an adult who works with kids and finds ridiculing them to be acceptable. If that had been my child, the instructor would have been on a job search by now. In NO way is that acceptable. No way, no how.

Agree 110%

I think there is something wrong with this coach and mother that laughed...
secondly what is a coach doing talking about other students to another mother anyway...there is so much wrong with this situaion.....right the letter and get out of there

[sbaglio]

I just wanted to add that this is a moment you need to take hold of and own. Your child is still too young to understand such bigotry, but soon she won't be. You need to stand up for her and put this person in their place. If that means contacting the CEO to ask if it is their policy to permit racial discrimination among their hired staff, do it. If not for your own child, for the next child that comes along and is subject to the same or worse.

I'm so upset by this, my God!

[joskids]

I agree and knew right away what the coach was referring to. It needs to stop. Just because your child isn't built like the other little girls in the class, should not make her an object of ridicule. Just the opposite - her differences should be celebrated. Take her out of the class, contact the owners of the gym and file a formal complaint.