[loveajax]

I was at the Y pool yesterday with DD and a woman (white) came in with her daughter who "appeared" biracial. The mom came up to me in the pool and said, "Olivia can't stop staring at your DD...she wants to play with her." So DD and Olivia played together in the pool and the other mom and I talked for awhile. She was awesome. (Her daughter is not adopted, btw...her husband is black).

At the end of our playdate, we exchanged names. But for some reason, I felt "silly" saying, "can I have your email to get the girls together?" I would love to, because DD only has a couple of black friends (plus, I really liked the mom and girl of course). I felt like I was on a blind date and I couldn't pull the trigger and ask for another one!

Do you find yourselves being more "aggressive" about arranging play dates, etc. My DH said I was being silly, but do you ask someone to be "friends" after meeting for such a short time? (I hopefully will see her at the pool again, and hopefully this time I won't be such a wimp!).

[Steph-Jason]

I can sometimes be the same way. It's funny how hard it is to make new friends as an adult isn't it! I think once you're an adult there is more fear of rejection or a friendship not working out...

[Wisdom]

The other mom may be wishing she'd gotten your info too. I hope you run into her again.

[JenC]

You could always look up her phone number (I would totally Google her in a flash), but then you might look kind of stalkerish. "Um, hi, I'm not a stalker, I promise, but..."

Yeah. I know what you mean. I'm thinking of changing Peds and going up to the big city for a Ped Dr (45 min away), just to find an AA Dr for him. I can just see it now..."why did you switch to our practice?" um, because you're black and I need that for my son...is that a good enough reason without offending you in any way??

I know what you mean. It's hard to step out. I get the high school complex going again.

[MB80sgirl]

I know what you mean. I really want to meet black friends too since we're trying to adopt transracially, but you cant really go up to someone & say, "I'd like to be your friend because I'm trying to adopt a baby of your skin color & maybe you could give me some advice."

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by JenC

You could always look up her phone number (I would totally Google her in a flash), but then you might look kind of stalkerish. "Um, hi, I'm not a stalker, I promise, but..."

.

Hahah...LOL!! If you did that to me I would think you were a stalker

Love- I am really outgoing so I don't have a problem asking for playdate BUT there are time when I see a family that I think are AP's and I always wanna say me too but I'm scared because you never know.

[Cjmeck]

That's so funny! 2 days ago Dh and I were at Target and we noticed another CC couple with an AA girl (well, we assumed). It was funny b/c we were all staring at eachother in the checkout and I soooo wanted to say something b/c their little girl was the same age as my little girl and they even looked alike! But I was just standing there like a dork when I noticed my daughter and their daughter waving and "talking" to eachother. So, we talked for a few minutes, and their daughter was adopted from Ethiopia This is such a small town and I rarely meet any other Aparents; it was just funny b/c the other parents were so excited to meet us too. So, on the way home, I said to DH that I wished I had exchanged phone numbers/email with them. What a cool connection it would be for our daughters, you know?? But seriously, how strange would that be to "pick up" a friend for my daughter at Target! lol And yes, it felt like HS again b/c I really wanted to do it, but I wimped out. I bet the other mom in your situation has the same regrets! I hope I see our people again in town (yes, I will be looking for them in Target! lol) and I hope you find your daughter's friend too. But then I start doubting myself and thinking maybe they didn't like us anyway.... DRAMA!

[OakShannon]

I'm terrible at things like that. I would have done (or not done!) the same thing and then kicked myself for it. I met a mom at my son's gymboree class who's daughter was one of only 2 other kids of color. After running into her one day in the neighborhood, she finally asked me if my son was adopted. Turns out her daughter (who is exactly D's age) was also adopted. We get together about once a week now for playdates. I'm glad she was braver than I tend to be!

I'll keep my finger's crossed that you run into her again soon. You too, Cjmeck! Just goes to show that you can pick up almost anything at Target!

[loveajax]

Thank you all! I feel not so alone in my wimpyness! I wish you all lived in my neighborhood!

[Quesita]

You know something... she approached you. And I think that there is a real difference between stalking people of your child's race in hope that they will become your friends, (which I think is kind of icky) and feeling a genuine affinity for another transracial family, who may face many of the same issues you face. Your daughters have something in common that other kids don't. They have a mom who is a different race.

I say keep an eye out for her, and exchange email/phone numbers next time. Your girls got along, and I assume they are close in age. The two of you got along. I think that you and your daughter just made some new friends today, and that is a good thing!

[joskids]

I agree with "Quesita" - she approached YOU, so obviously she was feeling the same way you were. Enjoy your future meetings at the pool.

I'm very outgoing and always meeting new people. But I find myself reading the above posts and feeling sadly for those of you that don't know many other interracial families. Here in the Columbus, Ohio area, there are SO MANY multiracial families thru marriage, adoption, etc. It makes me realize how very lucky we are to be living where we do. Just yesterday, our little girl (biracial) and the other 3 year old down the street (Chinese), were riding in her Barbie car down the street and I had to smile and the beauty of our very multiracial neighborhood. On our block alone we are white, black, Macedonian, Asian and biracial.

I am, though, a bit jealous that you were at the POOL yesterday. That sounds like heaven to me. Shucks.

[Cjmeck]

Originally Posted by joskids

I agree with "Quesita" - she approached YOU, so obviously she was feeling the same way you were. Enjoy your future meetings at the pool.

I'm very outgoing and always meeting new people. But I find myself reading the above posts and feeling sadly for those of you that don't know many other interracial families. Here in the Columbus, Ohio area, there are SO MANY multiracial families thru marriage, adoption, etc. It makes me realize how very lucky we are to be living where we do. Just yesterday, our little girl (biracial) and the other 3 year old down the street (Chinese), were riding in her Barbie car down the street and I had to smile and the beauty of our very multiracial neighborhood. On our block alone we are white, black, Macedonian, Asian and biracial.

I am, though, a bit jealous that you were at the POOL yesterday. That sounds like heaven to me. Shucks.

Hey, I didn't know you were in Columbus! I live just south of Dayton. My daughter was born in Columbus We always go to the zoo in Columbus now instead of Cincinnati--we were shocked and thrilled to see so many families like ours there. Not so much in southern OH... I'm jealous of your neighborhood!

[SHD]

I met a mom at DD's daycare that once we got talking we figured out both of our kiddos are adopted. She has a son so now that they are six years old their interests are definitely leaning towards their gender. She's TOTALLY dress up, makeup and hair and he's TOTALLY girls have cooties so we haven't done a whole lot lately.

I can't wait for my trip to Columbus when I can meet Joskids and now Cjmeck I find out you're pratically a neighbor also. I live in Michigan on the border so both of you are only a couple of hours away. I have a girlfriend that lives in Columbus also that when I have been to visit her I'm so jealous that she lives in this world. Columbus is truly a melting pot.

Good luck at meeting the mom at the pool again. Since you're both members of the Y perhaps, in a non-stalkerish kind of way, ask other members if they know who she is and perhaps you can get a little more info on her. Maybe even show up at the same time again and you might run into her.

[maricela]

My DD has a classmate who's biracial. Her mom is cc and dad is AA. I haven't gotten the nerve to talk to the mom yet. My DD had a school musical last week and I took tons of pictures so I was going to print pictures out and hand them out to the mom's including her (I took a couple of pics of my DD and her daughter). I'm hoping that will start a conversation.

[ChromaKelly]

Originally Posted by JenC

You could always look up her phone number (I would totally Google her in a flash), but then you might look kind of stalkerish. "Um, hi, I'm not a stalker, I promise, but..."

Yeah. I know what you mean. I'm thinking of changing Peds and going up to the big city for a Ped Dr (45 min away), just to find an AA Dr for him. I can just see it now..."why did you switch to our practice?" um, because you're black and I need that for my son...is that a good enough reason without offending you in any way??

I know what you mean. It's hard to step out. I get the high school complex going again.

Sorry I had to LOL about the doctor thing! I went to an urgent care center when I dropped a space heater on my foot (yeah, just as fun as it sounds) and the doctor I saw was AA. She was really nice and I liked her, but of course I was thinking how great it would be to have an AA family doctor. I wanted to ask if she saw patients on a regular basis, not just urgent care, but I chickened out.

I am the same way with other moms at the playground and stuff. It does feel like dating!