[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by ChromaKelly

I'm open to going through the state as well. We considered it this go-round, but felt private was more straightforward. I do need to do more research into foster care. We would definitely consider that since I would really prefer a non-newborn if there is a next time. Nothing against newborns, I just keep picturing an older baby in my head, and I'm kind of all set with the sleepless nights.

Yes go ahead and do the research. Some counties/states are more "bountiful" than others...so it helps to know if where you are at there would be a realistic chance of possibly getting what you are hoping for. I wish you the best.

[Yash]

As a mom who went through the state, you have to be sure your children can handle an adoption through the state. It is not for the faint of heart.

Adoption is a rollercoaster, but fost/adopt is like riding a rollercoaster with a blindfold on, never knowing when the ride will end, or what the layout of the rollercoaster is, and having people drop in and out of your car giving you information about when the ride will end and/or what's coming up next. Sometimes this information is truthful, sometimes it's an out right lie, and sometimes it was the truth at that moment but now everything has changed and its no longer true.

And it's not just the adults on this ride, but the entire family.

Out of my four go rounds with DCF, I had one GREAT, EXCELLENT CW. She loved children and loved her job. Then I had the man who hated his job and didn't care about kids at all, the CW who was a racist, and the CW who was high off the power the job gave her and had no common sense to boot.

With all that said, I don't want to discourage anyone from going the foster adopt route, but I just want you to know it's, in my opinion, the most difficult type of adoption out there. To have a child, you grow to love in your house for months, years, and to always know in the back of your mind it could all end in an instant until that final adoption decree is signed isn't easy. Your experience through foster care depends greatly on the judge the child has and the CW.

[DannieAS]

Yash,

I think you're probably right...I don't have children in my home and am currently taking my classes...so I believe it will be a good route for me. I also think that experiences do vary by county and state as well...I hear some negative things about some areas and some positive things about other areas. I've known a few people that have gone through the county i'm going through and it went fairly smoothly (as smoothly as any process....legality is). We got educated on the system in my county last night and the timelines and appeals and I can see why this could be the most taxing way for families...especially families that already have children. unless you happened to be licensed at the right time to be called for a relinquishment.

[Yash]

Originally Posted by DannieAS

Yash,
unless you happened to be licensed at the right time to be called for a relinquishment.

Even a relinquishment can turn into a long, slow road to adoption. DCF has a special ability to make the easiest and simplest things turn into all your family and friends and your church praying that God's will be done and that you get to keep your child.

Dannie, welcome to the ride and please know also every single case is different. And what you learn in class in no way prepares you for the real deal. Now way.