[ChromaKelly]

I'm just curious what all you had to do to "prove" that you were capable of raising an AA child? I've posted before about my ordeal. I'm wondering what the normal experience is. I really wasn't expecting to be raked over the coals.

[mommamarci]

Nothing.

Our first agency was not terribly ethical and were in need of families opne to race, so they really did not ask any questions. The second agency did a little education with us, but not much since we had already done it once. I have heard of several agencies that require a class of some kind. (Some offered by them, some found online.)

Ideally, I think a family should have some required reading and some kind of education, whether it be from the agency or elsewhere.

I am confident that had you been asked to do any of these things, you would have in a heartbeat. I am so sorry you are going through this.

[JenC]

We've completed one international adoption (Ethiopia) and are in the midst of a domestic AA adoption. Any transracial education we've had was instigated by us. For our international adoption, our agency required us to do an online course about attachment. For this adoption, our homestudy agency was VERY adamant about us reading books about open adoption and adoption from the birth mother's view. Not one. single. thing. was mentioned about equipping ourselves for transracial adoption. It bothered us a lot.

We've chosen on our own to educate ourselves the best we can through resources and support groups online and by making efforts in the real world (offline).

We live in an area that is not very diverse, but is becoming more diverse. We were never even asked if we had AA friends.

I do remember in our original homestudy and during the update for the second the social worker asking what we planned on doing to expose our kids to their cultures. That was about as far as it went.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. I really don't know what to tell you.

[dalene]

Like others have said, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. We didn't really have to "prove" ourselves in any way. Our sw did ask us to be prepared to discuss ways we would incorporate our child's culture into our lives and how we would prepare to be a transracial family for the
2nd home visit. I did some research & talked to friends who have adopted transracially before that visit and the sw was very satisfied with our answers. It wasn't that extensive, though. Other than that little bit of prompting, everything else we have learned has been on our own...reading, researching, talking to others, etc. Out of the 13 couples currently active with the program we're in, we are the only ones who would accept an AA baby...even biracial, so I really think that's one reason they didn't give us too much "trouble"...they needed us. Our sw is awesome, though, and we've talked informally about transracial adoption and other adoption issues since our match--but we've never had any formal education regarding transracial adoption at all...unless an African American History class in college (8 years ago) counts.

[rredhead]

Nothing. All adoptive parents had to go through some sort of training or education about adoption. Our agency allowed reading books to be part of that (I think it was like 100 pages = 1 hour and we had to do 20 hours total).

[cbrink7]

So far not much to "prove" ourselves. We did get a lot of good literature to read, and we were asked why we wanted to adopt tranracially, but not much else (although we are not done yet) I have on my own gotten some books about tranracial adoption. That maybe something that you could do.

Also, I was thinking, maybe when you send your HS to other agencies you could include a page written by you to say that things that you have been doing to prepare. Such as you "respectively" disagree about your SW findings because of A,B,C and D (multicutral play groups, incorporating your child's ethnicity and others by doing_____, reading literature, etc.) Maybe this will help you feel a little more at ease at least with not having to do another HS.

[oceanica]

Our agency just told us that caucasian babies take 2 or more years to get and aa could take anywhere from a month to 6 months, and the cost would be less, like over 5 grand less. We said, OK we want aa.
That was it. I wouldn't recommend the agency to tell the truth. But there was no "proving" and no education.
They are extremely hands off.

[aclee]

nothing. When our social worker asked our racial preference, we said we didn't have one. She asked if we realized that could very well mean we end up with a "full" aa infant. We said we did, and that was fine. During our homestudy, she asked what we were doing to prepare ourselves for a transracial adoption, and we told her. We initiated all our learning, not the agency. She did say, had we specificed BR and NOT AA, she gets more involved with the family and works with them to figure that out, that kind of thing, but we were open to all races, so she said that was fine. We did a lot before we started our homestudy to make sure transracial adoption was something we could support in our community. The support not only for adoption, but for transracial adoption in this area is extensive. I was actually telling our social worker about some of them she didn't know.

[Vogi2002]

Wow...reading all these responses makes me wonder if it's such a bad thing that education requirements are put in place for transracial adoption. Not to make people NOT adopt transracially, but provide them with the education that is needed.


I also had to do very litte, but then again I had a long talk with our sw & grew up in a transracial family. We did however read a book or two.

I'm so sorry your sw is being so stringent. I would suggest reading transracial adoption books, then writing reports on them as proof to your education. Plus research your community & show that as proof.

Good luck.

[Yash]

I don't even think I was asked by my SW who did the homestudy. And I know for sure nothing was asked or required by my agency. But before I signed on to my agency, all I did was read every book I could find about adoption, attachment, the countries I was considering adopting from.

My fost/adopt agency had one 3 hour class on transracial adoption that was horrible. They showed this video that highlighted all the transracial adoptees who were bitter about being adopted outside of the race. The adoptees who were fine or had valid points about things their parents did wrong (ie an Asian woman at age 3 noticed her hand was a different color than her white mother's when they were playing the piano and asked about it. Her mom lied to her and said they were both white. The woman said that stayed with her because she knew their hands weren't the same color where if her mother had just told her the truth, she might not have given a second thought.) were barely on screen. I told my agency I thought the class was horrible and needed to be revised.

[BethanyB]

Our agency just told us that caucasian babies take 2 or more years to get and aa could take anywhere from a month to 6 months, and the cost would be less, like over 5 grand less. We said, OK we want aa.
That was it. I wouldn't recommend the agency to tell the truth. But there was no "proving" and no education.
They are extremely hands off.

Wow. This is exactly why parents need education when it comes to adopting a child of another race. They want to make sure that CC parents are adopting an AA child for the right reasons and that they have the resources to bring up that child in a healthy environment. There is so much more to raising an AA child in a racist society than taking the cheapest baby in the shortest amount of time. These are human beings we are talking about here. Not dolls!

SW's who care about the placement of children are not giving people a hard time because they get a kick out of it, they are trying to make sure they do the right thing for children. Adoption is not about finding the right baby (or the cheapest baby) for a family but finding the right family for a child.

I think transracial adoptions can work well but I'm sure the SW knows that many adoptive parents are not looking at the long haul here but the immediate feeling of wanting a baby.

[ChromaKelly]

We took an online course yesterday that was pretty helpful and informative. It included stories from transracial adoptees and parents who have adopted transracially. I also checked out the book "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?" and I plan on getting some of the other books I have seen recommended on here.

I did get a response from the SW that he is going to modify the HS to reflect our thoughts, so I'm anxious to see what the changes are.

[blessedbybug]

I'm quite disturbed (although honestly, not shocked) by all the posts on this thread where there hasn't been any preparation for parenting transracially while making this decisions. We actually had several conversations with our private agency and with children's service related to the possibility of parenting outside our race. The main focus here is children with aboriginal (Native Canadian) heritage.

We were asked numerous questions about how we would raise our children if they were of another ethnic heritage. And about 20% of the education in the classes required through the government for foster-adopt had to do with parenting children of another ethnicity. And even our private agency questioned us extensively about our lack of preference regarding race (meaning that we didn't have any preference, we were open to any race, or mix of races), wanting to make sure we knew what we were saying. And after DD came, who is not obviously transethnic, although she is aboriginal, we were questioned again about stilling being open to race when we were now a "white" family. I was actually quite taken aback by that and it started a whole long conversation about how the agency handles these kind of things, but in the end, they just really wanted to make sure we understood how being a transethnic/racial family would be different. I appreciated the extra effort made. It really helped us realize how we had to be pro-active in making sure our children understood all of who they are.

In most ways, it seems to me to be a good idea to have some assurance by the agency, as a part of the homestudy process, prrior to placement that a potential family has the desire and ability and knowledge (or at least resources) to parent a child transethnically. Although ultimately it is the parent's responsibility to make sure they understand transethnic parenting, the agency, if they are offering transracial placements, they have responsibility to make sure, through the homestudy process, that the family to which the child goes is equipped and knowledgeable. And obviously many/most here have done their best and done well after the fact to make sure their child has all they need.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by ChromaKelly

We took an online course yesterday that was pretty helpful and informative. It included stories from transracial adoptees and parents who have adopted transracially. I also checked out the book "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?" and I plan on getting some of the other books I have seen recommended on here.

I did get a response from the SW that he is going to modify the HS to reflect our thoughts, so I'm anxious to see what the changes are.

You might check out the adoption blog resources too. There are some really good resources that share real stories of people who have lived in a transethnic/racial family and others who are parenting. I'm sorry this has been such a tough process. Sounds like you will be prepared for whatever comes!

[HeidiK]

My 1st agency sponsered a required two night class on transracial adoption that evry single family on their rooster had to complete as part of their homestudy no matter what -the thinking is that you might be surprized to find out that your child might have a birth father outside of you race - it was awesome. They all so suggested an additional course sponsered by PACT ( an SF agency) that was also amazing. I also was required to take an all day class on drug and alcohol exposure - myth and facts. These classes really help prepare me for the lifelong journey that is adoption. I think this agency is able to make such requirements since they only are able to represent Ap's and e-families is a specific geographic area.