[loveajax]

So my mom and dad are...I dunno....Archie and Edith Bunkerish.

Anyway, my mom seemed a little "freaked out" when my cousin (her sis' daughter) had a child with a black man. He is now 11. (They live in a different state and we don't see them very frequently. By the way, my mom has always been wonderful to him, but it was just this "sense" I got.).

Anyway, my mom is gaga over DD (obviously). The other day when I went over, she was reading the book "One Drop" about a woman who finds out her dad was AA (He was a very successful journalist who had "hid" his race for many years). She and my aunt now talk about race issues all the time.

I love it!! I really am so proud of her. She is pretty old (I am her youngest and I am old myself). She now also "harps" on how of course gay people should be allowed to adopt (keep in mind she is a strict Catholic).

has anyone had this experience with their parents...it makes me so happy and I guess just proud of my daughter that she has "opened" so many hearts and minds.

[carlam]

That's absolutely beautiful! See an "old dog" can learn new tricks!

[loveajax]

Thank you, Carla! I will tell my mom!

[sbaglio]

It's great that your mom is changing her opinions, Karen! I guess experience changes us all .

[loveajax]

thank you, fadzi!! i think it's great too!

[srusse24]

Isn't it wonderful to see people open their minds!

DH and I were a bit worried when we started the adoption process the first time and we told our parents that we were open to any race. At first they didn't seem comfortable with it. I will tell you now though that my children are their world! My mom and my oldest son have the most incredible bond. He is crazy over her and her over him.

It is amazing how children can change people's perspective!

[nativemom]

I can totally understand what you are saying. I was worried when I told my parents about our adoption (ds is native american and AA) what the reaction would be to our adopting our him. I was completely surprised by their complete support and excitement.

My dad, who I expected to have the most difficult time, was the most enthusiastic. Four days after ds was born, but way before any tpr papers were signed, we took baby to get some pictures. We didn't want to miss the opportunity, even if things didn't work out, to capture him at that age. My dad, bless his heart, bought a huge montage of the photos taken that day and proudly displays it in his living room.

I wish my parents lived closer, because I think we are all missing out. But I know my dad and ds will be great friends.

It is truly amazing how children can change your perspctive.

[aclee]

I was worried about telling my grandparents we were adopting. My grandmother wrinkled up her nose and looked at me and said...Will you get an American baby?? Of course I immediatly assumed that by American she meant white. I said, "Well Nana, our baby will be American because we are adopting domestically (she gets domestic vs international, I have 2 cousins from Korea), but that doesn't mean the baby will be white...there are a lot of non-white Americans." She looked so relieved, and said, "I'm so glad you won't have to travel too far then, I think that would be hard on you." Medically it would have been tough for me to travel internationally...she was only worried about me. I felt like a 1st class...you know what.

[loveajax]

Native, congratulations! Your dad sounds like he is an awesome gpa!

Aclee, that's funny....My nana is deceased but I can imagine thinking the SAME thing if that came from her mouth!

[AudreyE]

Originally Posted by loveajax

I love it!! I really am so proud of her. She is pretty old (I am her youngest and I am old myself). She now also "harps" on how of course gay people should be allowed to adopt (keep in mind she is a strict Catholic).

A similar situation with my husband's father, who went ape-sh*t when my husband's sister married a black man 17 years ago and had mixed-raced children. He's old-world south side Italian, and it just wasn't in his world-view.... yet.....

He barely spoke to his daughter, SIL or grandchildren back then. But over the years he loosened up and redeveloped a cautious relationship with all of them.

Then over the past 10 years, when our children started arriving (they are black, we are caucasian), he was finally a changed man. Now it's all about his grandchildren, showing off photos, talking about them to anyone who will listen, presents, meals, etc.

Same with his wife (husband's step mom), who had similar views but who I found out recently brags about her grandchildren at every opportunity.

It took 17 years, but it's definitely possible. Thank God.

Audrey

[loveajax]

Audrey, that's really good. It stinks that it even has to take "time," but I'm glad they are there now!

I've had some friends who have had to "write off" certain family members. I would never want to have to do that (and thankfully haven't had to).