[bethy724]

I am a foster/adoptive mom to a wonderful 3 year old bi-racial son. He was placed at 3 months & he knows he is adotpted & that he has a "tummy mommy" & bio daddy that love him very much. He is aware that I am "pink" & he is "brown." We live in a diverse neighborhood & he attends a diverse daycare.

I'll get to the point- with the holiday season & all of the Santas my son is very shy around him (he's been at church, school, the mall & my sisters house - he will high 5 & thats it - no problem. Well, today we were at a Christmas party w/ predominatly AA people & when Santa came out he ran to him, draging me to him - he literally ran to him; I was SHOCKED. After the party I asked why he wasn't nervous around this Santa & he immediatly said "his skin was brown" This santa was just as tall, just as big, red suit ect as any other Santa with the exception of being "brown". I know this world is not color blind & that our different colors will always be there I am just so shocked that a 3 year old would loose all fears of the guy in the red suit because his skin is brown. We just saw Santa yesterday & he wouldn't go to him. Any insight or experiences of a white mom raising a bi-racial child on this experience? I am saddened by his knowledge (at 3) that we are different(but knew it would always be there) & that skin color can make him run up to somebody-maybe I'm making too much of this but I thought we'd have a few years of innocence. (I have several AA male friends as well as hispanic, asian ect & he doesn't run up to any race more or less just with this santa) Any thoughts?

[CubanaYogini]

I'm not surprised. My child is AA and he is only 1. For several months now he has been drawn to other blacks. I don't think that he is conscious enough to feel too "different" from his "pink" parents, but I do think that he is attracted to others who look like the baby that he sees in the mirror (that he knows is himself).

I think that this is just human nature.

I can imagine that he will be even more aware of this as he gets older and will feel even more of a kinship with other AA's.

[nickchris]

Little kids learn real early to recognize same and different, they are also concrete thinkers. There is usually no negative aspect to it, as long as the parents and the surrounding environment nurtures the natural development of self identity, and diversity.