[loveajax]

I haven't been able to listen to this (no audio at work), but I saw this blog post and thought it was interesting.

Transracial/Transcultural Adoption Blog - Study shows TA does not have negative affect on children's self esteem

[dragonfly1234]

Thank you for sharing. I have read this and found it interesting.

[cyhorns]

This article is very good to news. My husband and I are looking into the adoption and at the beginning stages of starting the process. I've had some concerns about if the adopted child would feel bad because their biological parents didn't want them. And wondered about how being raised by parents with different colored skin than them would affect them. Thanks!

[rredhead]

I'm concerned about the phrase "because their biological parents didn't want them." I know that our son's bmom wanted him very much. She just could not care for him and give him the life that she wanted him to have. Most (all?) domestic birthmothers WANT their children; they just cannot parent for whatever reasons.

[Linny]

With all due respect, red.....I have to say that I've met birthmothers who did not want their babies, period. While I know books and such would like us all to believe this is not the case---ever---across the board---it's not.
And, while I've not read the article yet, I can assure you there are several of us who've had to consider what we'll say (or what we said) to our children about this when the time was right. (sigh)

Sincerely,

Linny

[aclee]

A lot of the situations that I'm being offered it really does sound that way and it makes me sad. I try to believe that is a social workers way of making the adoption sound like "sure thing"...

I also think that regardless of how we teach our kids, and raise them, there WILL be some kids that feel "that" way. Even if that's not what they have been told. She might have more been referencing that she was afraid that's how her adopted children COULD feel, just because they are adopted...not what she would teach them or encourage...that general feeling that they weren't "wanted"...

The article was very encouraging, but belonging to a family that adopted transracially from Korea about 21 years ago, and transracially several times since, I've grown up in a diverse family and seen first hand that it works just fine for many families...it's still sad that it's taken the "research" so long to catch up!

[Linny]

I agree with your comments exactly, aclee. Our first two babies are now grown and on their own. One was adopted from Korea, the other from Japan. Both were adopted in the 80's. Since then, we've adopted three AA babies.
Like you, I want to say, 'Where have YOU been all this time???!" LOL

Sincerely,

Linny

[rredhead]

I also think that regardless of how we teach our kids, and raise them, there WILL be some kids that feel "that" way. Even if that's not what they have been told. She might have more been referencing that she was afraid that's how her adopted children COULD feel, just because they are adopted...not what she would teach them or encourage...that general feeling that they weren't "wanted"...

OK. If that's the case, then a clarification needs to be made. It's not that the birthmother didn't want her, it's that the child FEELS or THINKS that the birthmother didn't want her.

Most (all?) domestic birthmothers WANT their children; they just cannot parent for whatever reasons.

Quoting myself, I should have been more accurate. In my experience and reading, birthmothers who choose domestic private adoption do want their babies; they just cannot parent them. Obviously, I can't speak for all birthmothers; I simply did not want to show a lack of respect for them.

[CubanaYogini]

I think that what cyhorns meant is that she is concerned that her child might feel that his/her birthparents didn't want him/her and that that would make the child feel bad.

[Teekay74]

I can't read it- It needs a password. Is it me, or something wrong with the site now?

[loveajax]

Teekay, here is the link to the NPR site....I got to listen to this last week and have to say I thought it was "good news" for sure.

NPR : Study: Adoption Not Harmful to Child's Self-Esteem

[adopting_again]

If you have Itunes and want to listen, it's NPR Health and Science release date 11/25/07. It's the 3rd story on it, and it's a ~30 min. podcast.